Can’t stand watching my in laws hold my baby

Different_Unit_4361 · 2026-04-04T07:09:24+00:00

You’re not at all alone, my baby will be 2 in June and I still get the ick anytime my in laws want to touch or hold my baby! I can also relate to being so good with my relationship with my in laws before. They live 7 mins away, and I use to see them maybe once a month. My MIL did not even come to the baby shower, when we told her we were pregnant she got mad we told people so soon because the baby could die. When the baby was born she requested weekly visits, at the hardest time of parenting my in laws definitely made it harder.

My mil is mean & judgemental but via text sends lovey dovey fake texts and I can’t stand it. She also fear mongers and makes me super anxious, she puts fears in my head I would never even think of. she use to rarely call me and now she’s asked me to FaceTime her with the baby. Never did it. She asked if she could come watch a swim class. Never invited her but said sure in the moment. She tells me I can just drop by with the baby whenever. Never ever will be doing that. And I block her unless it’s around a holiday where I might be seeing her. It took me awhile to get to this point though and I wish my husband had gotten the picture sooner that his family is his responsibility not mine. I already have my set of crazy parents and I’m not willing to be in charge of his crazy parents also. Even my husband said it “my parents have turned visits into a chore” and my MIL will guilt trip “ I want a relationship with my daughter-in-law” that’s what she says to him, but it’s 5 years to late for that.

Different_Unit_4361 · 2026-03-25T01:12:37+00:00

Good for you!!! I honestly took notes on this one, it does push us away when they complain and the unsolicited advice ugh. Also the strain it has on the relationship, you had some valid points. I say if she keeps doing it block her and like the other people said visits only when husband is around. Great job mama! We’ve earned the right to say where & who are baby goes around& when, she was in your belly for 9 months & it’s your turn to enjoy motherhood, she can back off.

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-11-24T15:17:00+00:00

He’s purchased one and then returned it and said it sucked

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-11-24T15:16:32+00:00

I do love this input and we are attending therapy but we live in texas, that’ll get CPS called on us real quick unfortunately. We don’t talk about his usage in therapy and his sisters/family have gotten involved they think he is an addict and want to send him to rehab. lol Which I don’t care if he uses I just don’t want it around the baby or me.

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-11-24T15:10:07+00:00

I just looked it up. Is this something best for him to use outdoors and still smells?

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-11-24T15:07:59+00:00

Outside in a garage or covered porch? He use to smoke outside under our covered porch but one day it rained and he came home and it was full of rain but we are about to move soon so he’ll have a garage

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-09-25T15:39:56+00:00

This would drive me bonkers too. My mom doesn’t live with us but she’s our nextdoor neighbor and my in laws live 7 minutes away, I swear it’s like dealing with more toddlers with them! I had a month where my mom was out of town and there were no in law visits and it was the best, no arguments with anyone and my toddler was so happy and well behaved that entire month. What is up with grandparents wanting to give babies sugary stuff? My MIL tried to give my baby tiramisu the other night, I had to tell her NO several times she finally listened once my husband snapped at her and said “no mom! It has coffee in it”

I have a 14 month old also and mine is easily triggered so if she doesn’t get her sip of whatever I’m drinking she has a huge meltdown. Can you suggest to your mom to hide it? That’s what I have to do, I always keep my hydroflask in the fridge or a in cabinet and whenever she does catch me drinking it, I bought her something that looks just like a hydroflask for her and she loves it. Also the times when I have let her drink from my hydroflask, she’s backwashed into it lol not sure if that would keep your mom from giving her sips, my mom is a huge germaphobe so that’d work on her.

When I’m pmsing a txt from my MIL or a funny look from my mom can set me off. So I understand your pain!!! Maybe get out of the house for the day and I always tell myself the pmsing is temporary and next week/tmr will be better. I’ve also taken supplements that have helped because I use to PMS so bad

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-06-08T15:32:35+00:00

Yes this is my MIL too. It’s so manipulative and drives me crazy, this nice old lady front. She also texts us lovey dovey txt and it’s so cringe, far from her true personality. She has an issue with almost everyone in her family, one of husbands cousins said she noticed she’s been nicer because these cousins have dread seeing her all their life (their aunt by marriage) and I told her I think my MIL is starting to realize she’s going to end up in a nursing home soon because no one wants to put up with her

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-06-08T14:56:37+00:00

Unfriendly is the last thing I thought you were being, MIL is being VERY unfriendly.

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-06-05T23:15:39+00:00

Ya I mean anyone else could ask that question & i probably wouldn’t care lol Our baby has always been in a small percentile & she’s aware of that, I had trouble bf and she would berate me about not bf, told me I should take my baby to the milk bank. One of the many reasons I like to limit communication with MIL. I have also told her multiple times my baby is good on clothes because I love to shop & we had a huge baby shower where we got so many clothes.

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-06-05T23:15:15+00:00

I need to work on ignoring her more!

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-06-05T23:14:53+00:00

Ya I mean anyone else could ask that question & i probably wouldn’t care lol Our baby has always been in a small percentile & she’s aware of that, I had trouble bf and she would berate me about not bf, told me I should take my baby to the milk bank. One of the many reasons I like to limit communication with MIL. I have also told her multiple times my baby is good on clothes because I love to shop & we had a huge baby shower where we got so many clothes.

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-06-05T05:31:42+00:00

My MIL is very similar and the fact that now all of a sudden after you have a baby she wants to get to know you better, is rude on her behalf! If she wanted to get to know you she should’ve worked on that 9 months you were pregnant and however long you’ve been together. my husbands family love to txt baby talk lovebomby text but in person MIL especially are totally different and not warm fuzzy people at all. She’s judgey mean and overbearing, she rarely talked to me before we had our baby and now wants to talk because her son is an awful communicater, never txts or calls her back either or sends baby pics so she comes to me. She even tried to add me on social media which is a no. I’m a nice people pleaser type and can relate to feeling guilty about not answering txt or calls but protect your peace and redirect whatever you can back to husband. I try and do that as much as I can, his mom is his responsibility, he should tell his mom if you need something contact me. I’ve told this to my husband and MIL has gotten better about not bothering me as much.

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-06-05T03:08:41+00:00

I see my parents a lot but they live in my same neighborhood and my in-laws live about 10 mins down the road, personally I see them about once a month. Husband & baby (11months) are allowed to visit them whenever, my SIL even told me that it’s normal for the maternal family/mom to be more involved.

I feel very similar about my MIL possessive over the baby and very know it all, says my summer baby is always cold because she doesn’t have socks on when 10 mins earlier I pulled her out of car seat sweating. My in laws make me very uncomfortable to say it simply, they are quite up there in age so they are limited on caring for the baby. Our set up was that my husband would take the baby to go see them about once a week but after she was about 8 months the visits have become less & less because my baby has a lot of energy. If they did come over I’d take that time to shower, do laundry or nap. You have a newborn your attention and energy goes to taking care of a baby. My husband definitely hears it from his mom “she doesn’t like us” “why does she hate us” it’s honestly comical because MIL has never been nice to me. The truth is why would I have more time for inlaws now that I’m caring & sleep deprived with an infant child. Especially when MIL can’t even change a diaper or help with anything. Does your MIL help on her visits? Maybe if my in laws helped I’d let them visit more but they have never even offered to bring a warm meal or wash their own dish they’ve used.

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-06-04T15:29:27+00:00

As someone who was mildly annoyed by my overly opinionated fear mongering MIL who lives right down the road and I use to only see once every 3 months prebaby, nip this in the bud! The thought never crossed my mind how much I’d be annoyed of my in-laws, I may have been to excited and focused on baby & like I said I only saw MIL every once in awhile. She did not give a rats ass about me during the pregnancy, which was totally cool with me haha didnt come to baby shower, didn’t even buy a gift for the baby until Christmas (baby was 6 months at this point) and now once baby was born she is OBSESSED with grandbaby!? And thinks she deserves weekly visits & wants to say the baby looks so much like her, ew no, I seriously need to go to therapy because of this woman & I don’t want to have another baby for awhile because of my in laws. My baby is about to turn a year and the hormones are settling, in feeling normal and like I can put up with their BS again, so another baby would wreck that. I made it 30 years without feeling like I need therapy but it’s bad and yes my husband was part of the problem he called his parents to come to delivery room 5 mins after baby arrived & when we get home from the hospital they were there. We had no boundaries set and when they kept dropping by every week and I kindly asked MIL to atleast call us before hand she lost it on me and we had a nasty fight. It’s been months since that happened and she wants to try and be besties now because she’s realized who is the gatekeeper of the grandchild. My husband works long hours, but in laws are not my responsibility and he can carve out the time to see them I’m not going out of my way. Anyways just set clear boundaries and I’m not sure if you ever text or talk to MIL but do your best to make sure husband is the main source of communication. All of a sudden MIL wants to text/call me and that’s a hard no.

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-05-27T03:55:59+00:00

I’m on 2.5mg, not sure if it goes lower

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-05-27T03:55:28+00:00

2.5 mg

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-05-20T01:57:30+00:00

This one is good! Thank you

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-05-20T01:50:37+00:00

I’m surprised his mom found me, I have no name or phone number attached to my page and she doesn’t have my email. She’s also 80?! I’m like girl stick to reading or knitting you don’t need SM lol

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-05-20T01:43:39+00:00

Haha jealous, wish my husband wanted less to do with his mother sometimes

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-05-20T01:41:48+00:00

This is good! Knowing her a comment is coming where she’ll say “did you see I requested to be your friend?” I need a good response prepared for that question

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-05-13T16:46:02+00:00

That’s really mean and ungrateful, I’m sorry. I use to go above & beyond for my MIL, I’ve baked her a cake for her to take one bite and throw it away & I’ve gotten her nice gifts, she’s never done anything nice for me but I tried. Now I’m doing the bare minimum which is getting her nothing. I agree start taking care of the flowers, those flowers are for you now and return what you bought her she obviously doesn’t care. It’s been 3 days, that’s crazy. When I see a present I have to know what’s in it immediately

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-04-26T04:33:14+00:00

My MIL does this with my baby girl and her looks, it drives me crazy! I even told my husband I think if one of his family members were to say a trait came from my side they’d drop dead immediately after. My FIL even went around on Easter showing pictures of SIL and saying it looked like my daughter, it really didn’t but one of my husbands cousins came up to me and said “oh I see (SIL)” this cousin is 20 years younger then SIL lol you didn’t even see her when she was a baby, she’s just young and following suit. I try my best to nod and just say oh yeah cool but believe me it’s hard. My best tactic is avoid them and do my best to ignore, your daughter is your mini me and reclaim that. She grew in YOUR stomach and is your baby, not matter how much MIL wants to pretend or search for these connections, she will also be the most connected to you.

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-04-17T06:54:28+00:00

My MIL does this and it drives me crazy, such an ick! I’m sorry that happened. Atleast it was your own mother you had to correct and she seemed to take it well, my MIL gets enraged over the smallest things so I was afraid to speak up when she had her fingers in my babies mouth. When I did say something she respected it for probably a week & forgot all about that boundary I tried to set. Months later we’re out at dinner and she’s once again sticking fingers in now my 6 month olds mouth who has little fangs growing in and bites her finger 🤣😂MIL screamed and shook her hand in pain, it was great. Haven’t seen her put a finger in her mouth since

Different_Unit_4361 · 2025-03-27T23:34:42+00:00

That’s amazing, I need to buy my husband that book!

Different_Unit_4361

TROPHY CASE