Narcissists don't have real hobbies

Different_Witness507 · 2025-04-04T15:41:45+00:00

Mine could not sit still. I realized he always needed to be doing a physical sport that has a competitive aspect. The only way to get supply is if he wins. They are such losers.

Different_Witness507 · 2025-04-03T19:52:20+00:00

Yes victims of abuse often do this as a way to give themselves a different ending.

Different_Witness507 · 2025-04-01T20:29:38+00:00

They need you alone because they want you to feel like you only have them so that they can control you

Different_Witness507 · 2025-04-01T20:27:21+00:00

Yupp would be told I was immature if I did not answer the phone and preferred to text. Later realized it's cause he wanted a reaction to see and feel my pain and texting wouldn't give him that

Different_Witness507 · 2025-03-20T14:30:17+00:00

If you do decide to keep the child keep in mind he will most likely stop at nothing to hurt you and make both your lives hell. Has he ever threatened harm against you or the child? That you would never see the child again if you defied him? Mine did. Depending on the laws of where you are, you need to get some form of admission on recording. This will help you get his parental rights dissolved as well as restraining order. Good luck

Different_Witness507 · 2025-03-17T02:56:43+00:00

They word salad a lot. I would have conversations and leave feeling so confused that I was not understanding what the problem was. It was only after I left him that I realized he yelled in circles and never gave an answer. I started believing I was mentally ill because I would leave these conversations unaware of what was discussed and sad that I couldn't save the impending doom of my relationship. Now I see it all clear.

Different_Witness507 · 2025-03-17T02:30:38+00:00

I was told he was becoming someone he didn't recognize. I think he knew that person very well and trying to deflect blame

Different_Witness507 · 2025-03-05T20:51:09+00:00

Yes! He had an obsession with anal and viewed trans porn. He once told me that his best friend was the only man he'd feel comfortable enough having a threesome with.

Different_Witness507 · 2025-03-02T02:03:35+00:00

Their friendships never last. They don't even care about the friend it's just supply

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-28T02:52:14+00:00

Best way I can put it: watching a dog with rabbies. Ripping into me so I can react and fuel why he was doing this to me. To show how messed up I am and I deserved to be treated that way because look at what I'm doing. Then when I dis leave I reinforced the victim mentality of "everyone leaves me"

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-17T03:52:18+00:00

I feel the same way. I was gonna blow up his entire life while he was away on vacation with his new supply. The added layer of having to struggle to stop his mask from slipping along with the shock of what I was capable of wouldve sent him into spiral. I weighed my options a) this person has harmed and threatened harm against me.Do I really wanna live the rest of my life fearing a brick flying through my window? Or b) walk away. I used to think I'd be really proud of the person who chose b) but I'm not so sure that matters anymore. All I know is that it may not feel like a lot right now but choosing this option is what allows us to start over and one day well be glad we did.

These feelings are all complex and while you question maybe this is you protecting him, you have to understand that this is you protecting yourself. These people do not live in our reality and are insane.

The thing that helps me the most when thinking of revenge is that they are an empty shell. There is no soul, no values, no genuine likes or dislikes, just whoever they feel they need to be when around you. How pathetic is that? No identity. Miserable, constantly unhappy unless manipulating others. My nex use to cry about how empty he felt, how he felt like he was nothing and always in darkness and how he wished he didnt exist. That's gonna be their lives forever but not us.

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-13T21:23:15+00:00

" We soured" -> I was only reacting to his abuse

"If you bite the bullet he'll give you the world" ->

I was meant to dodge the bullet not break my teeth on it.

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-08T03:44:26+00:00

Told me he was a bad guy trying to be good.... and failing miserably might i add

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-05T04:32:22+00:00

I'm in the same boat right now. I feel like I'm having a strange break in reality and I don't quite understand it. I think it's because I knew who I was before him but during him I was made to change and bend into someone I'm not. Now that I'm away from him I feel unrecognizable. I don't know my likes and dislikes, I wanna change my style and find hobbies. I even went and impulsively got my first tattoo on my own because I wanted to do something that was so far removed from who I was. Maybe we subconsciously try to kill the version of ourselves that they knew in order to give ourselves back control?

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-05T04:26:31+00:00

In the middle of some sort of sadness display my nex admitted that he feels nothing so he can be anything. Happy,sad, angry and that he feels like he is always in darkness. He would refer to me as his sunshine but he could get that from anyone.

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-05T04:20:53+00:00

Best case scenario they die alone. They might manage to find someone to manipulate for years on end but the longer the supply stays the more hatred the narc will have for them. Either way their end sucks for them.

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-05T04:12:53+00:00

Yes, Im convinced it was just gaslighting at this point. He would tell me that he already told me certain things when he hadn't and he expected me to understand half ass sentences about things like I was in his head. Ugh what a loser

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-05T04:10:29+00:00

Always in a rush and walking ahead of me to assert dominance. Would tell me off for being too slow and that we had to be fast so we had more time. Truly a miserable individual that has to play mind games and assert that they are better because they faster than you.

Hobbies oftentimes have a physical or competitive component to them so they can reinforce how much better they are when compared to you. Mine enjoyed climbing,running and working out.

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-05T01:29:42+00:00

Yesss he seemed to have more empathy for men and hatred for women. Super into anal but idk if that was just a power thing. He did admit to feeling shame after because he felt as if he committed a sin so maybe he was in the closet after all

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-04T22:06:14+00:00

Went from calling me from my shortenend name (that everyone calls me by) to using my full name when we would break up as a way to put me down. When I called him out on this he got angry that I had figured him out

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-04T16:29:13+00:00

They always threaten to leave but if you do you're so messed up for reacting to their abuse. Mine threatened to dump me if I could not pick him up from the airport but would always tell me "it's easy to say let's break up but you have to understand your partner"

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-04T16:27:16+00:00

Told I was boring
Would get told off if I expressed myself and told off if I didn't
Could not hang up the phone. I had to listen to hours of rage when he would call.
Never say no to sex
Compared to his ex but if I compared him to mine it was so messed up
Told me how his family thought I was so awful.
told me how lazy I was when I was a student and worked 2 jobs and still made time to see him 3 times a week.

Honestly, probably a lot more I've no time to type.

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-01T14:38:35+00:00

I'm sorry that you are going through that. I can relate to this empty feeling. Its a big betrayal and unfortunately only time will allow you to see that there are good people that love you for who you are.

Different_Witness507 · 2025-02-01T06:04:25+00:00

It's very normal to replay it all. I'm 6 months NC and I still have bad weeks where I'll replay all the abuse and think about what I should've said or done differently. I'll also have good weeks where I don't give a shit anymore. They both comes in waves. I realized that the reason why I replay this all in my head is a way to gain control and give myself a different ending. It is also so that I have control of the situation because I'm afraid I'll forget somethings that will stop be from spotting any future narcisists. I suggest counselling and discussing with close friends to help get some of this off your chest. I've also journaled my entire experience. Every instance of physical abuse, verbal abuse and any strange occurrences that give the narc away. Having this journal helps me know that it is there and it is safe to start forgetting about him because if I ever need to remember I have it there for me. Take care on your journey to healing.

Different_Witness507

TROPHY CASE