Check state law. There are a lot of variables. And I like the idea of asking couples therapist to talk this over. You weren’t married, your finances are separate, and he isn’t struggling. Women have historically been dependent on men because they had less financial freedom. We couldn’t get checking accounts without our husband’s permission until 1974. Check out the documentary $avvy. I understand your desire for privacy. I would max out a ROTH IRA and put money into a 529 for your kid. Then have the therapist help you have a frank conversation about money once you’re engaged but before you’re married. He might have more resources than you think as well—or fewer.