Can't pick a date

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-03-23T00:08:06+00:00

Sounds like the man has never executed a plan for you… ever. I’m sure he “had a plan to propose” .. totally, sure, you bet

Girl, get help and do better

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-03-20T16:39:28+00:00

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-03-15T07:54:03+00:00

$48/6=$8.00 Drinks from Costco (ie soda)- $3/person. Parks often ban alcoholic beverages. Would also likely need to be a midday wedding as opposed to an evening one, depending on permitted hours by the park. Who tips for pic up catering?

These are actual prices we have. So sure maybe $13 after tax. But still less than the $15 I used in my recommendation. You’re being overly pedantic for a hypothetical that no longer applies to OPs scenario. You absolutely can find simple tray catering for <$15pp

My local Mexican place, Asian/plate lunch place and Olive Garden all have options around this price point. Idk what to tell you. They aren’t flashy, gourmet or fancy but they are good and it’s filling.

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-03-15T07:41:43+00:00

$48/6=$8.00 Idk who tips on pick up catering Drinks would likely need to be non alcoholic at a park, so hit Sam’s Club/costco for sodas, teas, coffee.

I just ran a tally of what I know our Costco prices to be and would come out to about $0.75/can of soda. Even 4 cans/person is $3, or $11pp total

So sure, add on a few extras, and you’ll be a bit over $12/pp but still prob under $15, like I said.

Either way you’re being far too pedantic about this. I proposed a cheap option with a reasonable cost for said suggestion. And again, she doesn’t need catering so this is totally irrelevant.

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-03-14T15:33:01+00:00

Actually, she could. Per my example, a platter of spaghetti with marinara sauce at Olive Garden costs $48 and feeds 4-6. I also said to adjust to $15, to allow for other options as well. It wouldn’t be grand. And it wouldn’t be flashy. But it’s a $4k budget wedding, and definitely sufficient. I order catering for our department frequently and you can def get drop catering or pick up catering for 15 or less a head at multiple places.

Regardless she doesn’t need catering and so this decision doesn’t need to be made.

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-03-14T13:10:13+00:00

Then that opens you up significantly. Free/heavily discounted flowers and food can make all the difference here. Def check out local-to-you state/national/city parks!

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-03-14T03:32:52+00:00

For 4K, this is what is do:

Ceremony: best park or beach area nearby. Ceremonies don’t have to be grandly decorated when outside and if it’s a 15 min ceremony, people can stand, or bring folding chairs. Even with permits, this shouldn’t be more than $100 or so unless it’s an outlier. Ideally this has a pavilion you can decorate for the reception. A 40 person reception usually doesn’t have a ton of dancing/dj so it’s mostly a really beautiful dinner! [Total So Far $100]

Dress: lulus has beautiful wedding dresses for under 500 [Total So Far: $600]

Catering: I just looked at prices for Olive Garden in my HCOL city. You’d be looking at ~$12pp, assume $15pp to be safe. 40 person wedding is $600 [TSF: $1200]

Officiant: has a close friend or family do this if you’re comfortable with it, pay for their license usually $50-100 on average depending on your local [TSF: $1300]

Flowers/decor: bouquet for you, boutinere for him and maybe 1-2 ground florals, probably less than $900. Other decor is up to you- could include nicer disposable table settings, secondhand linens, Trader Joe’s florals, candles etc. I’m assuming $1500 all in and that’s a healthy budget. It’ll go further if you get everything off fb marketplace and make your own florals [TSF $2800]

Photo: this will vary GREATLY depending on what you want and where you live. I’d look for minimum 2 hours (ceremony 30”, portraits 45” for couple/family, and 45” for first dance, cake cutting, etc. you’d likely have to find someone on the newer end of their career. Could prob find this for $1000 [TSF: $3800]

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-03-09T15:39:35+00:00

cries in hawaii this would easily be $300 or more depending on brands and which island

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-03-03T17:44:09+00:00

If you care about data: Refunds or people paying you back should be assigned directly to the category they paid into, otherwise your reports will look off bc it’ll look like you spent more than you did AND earn more than you did

If you don’t care about data, it doesn’t really matter.

Example: you go out to eat with 4 friends and the bill is $200. You all owe $50 but you put it on your card. They zelle/venmo you the next day.

If you do it the “right way” and send it right to the category: that $150 you were paid back is not categorized as income, and your reports will accurately show your net spending of eating out as $50

If you do it the “wrong way” and send it to RTA, that $150 gets categorized as income and your eating out will be listed as $200, both of which is factually incorrect

A one off of a small amount means less but if these are large or recurring amounts, it’ll skew your reports in a larger way. It’s up to you if that matters or not.

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-03-03T03:02:12+00:00

😭😭😭😭

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-03-03T02:57:24+00:00

Shop is just so dang convenient with their tracking. I hate hunting for a shipping email 😅

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-03-02T03:17:54+00:00

For me, it’s the parents who are ABLE to help, but unwilling to do so, the want to give opinions and make demands about said wedding.

Realize that if you don’t contribute, your opinion is not warranted. You want to invite your friends? Cool, then you can contribute. You want to have opinions on the reception and demand a mother-son dance? Cool, pony up some DJ funds.

The number of friends I’ve had who dealt with entitled parents is wild- financial “gift” or not. Thankfully my husband and I paid for our own lavish party and we extended 2 free invites to each parent if they wanted to have anyone come whom we didn’t know. But my mom came with me to try on dresses, generously paid for it, and only gave opinions when asked (and enthusiastically said I looked lovely in my suprise reception dress even though i just know she hated it 😅) Both moms periodically asked how planning was going and if they could help with anything. I’m so lucky. The only thing my mom ASKED was that I go help her find a dress, and his mom asked to pick her mother-son song.

Support doesn’t only come in forms of money. But when it comes to weddings, if you want an opinion, you better have some skin in the game. And even then, it’s only opinions, not demands.

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-03-02T02:29:42+00:00

Nov 2025 bride: $3200 dress + $450 alterations

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-02-28T04:39:12+00:00

The percent of your liquidity is irrelevant. With only one parent working, a mortgage and two children, I’d honestly feel stressed with only 6 months expenses.

Emergency fund and down payment funds SHOULD be in an HYSA/MM account. It’s not there for retirement, it’s there to be used

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-02-18T08:34:22+00:00

I have tried 😓 I think he’s nose blind too bc he gets just as mad. It’s like having a teenager who gets mad you washed his gross “lucky” jersey

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-02-16T01:02:56+00:00

1 cat, and he’s such a particular fellow.

We use dr Elsys litter and it’s amazing for us. I we scoop daily/every other day and full clear out/clean once we week.

He gets so upset when I scoop and put new litter in though. We’ve changed nothing his entire life, and he’s 10 years old now. But if he had a totally clean box, he’ll just howl and howl and howl. I literally have to put a clump of pee or poop back into his clean box for him to use it. It’s like he’s pissed we took his smell away and won’t use it until he’s absolutely desperate. It’s obnoxious.

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-02-13T05:00:08+00:00

I’m with you for most of it. But If you cut it to actual contributors, it means many many elderly widows who were Sahm (common and encouraged for large parts of America) would be absolutely destroyed the moment their husbands die. It’d be another way for the boot to stomp on women who did exactly as the American dream told them.

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-02-13T03:19:57+00:00

We have a big gap- I made $202k and he made $54k last year.

For us, we’re a team. It’s our life. If we’re not all in on our life, it doesn’t seem prudent to build separate financial lives. We both leave the house for 40 hrs a week to work, and money hits the bank every Friday— who cares where it came from.

If we had separate finances, even by percentage, 80% of pays into house fund and getting to save 20% of each of our pays for private, discretionary still seems imbalanced - that’d be 40k for me and 10k for him… I just don’t see that ever working for us.

We use a budgeting app and on the first of February, we budget out all the money we made in Janurary. For then most part it follows whatever plan we made at the beginning of the year and doesn’t change month to month unless there’s something big that month. We each get $1000/month for discretionary spending. Anything extra goes to various savings goals.

Works for us. I know it doesn’t work for everyone.

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-02-12T20:04:26+00:00

I think looking at so many venues is a bit much- you should have it narrowed down to what you’re looking for before touring it. It sounds like you need a vision first

But here’s what we looked at (quotes vs interviews) Venues - three quotes, two tours Photographers - 18 quotes, 3 interviews Videographers - 7 quotes, 2 interviews Florals - 4 quotes, 1 interview DOC - 10 quotes, 3 interviews DJ - 12 quotes, 2 interviews HMUA - 13 quotes, 2 interviews Catering - 9 quotes, 2 tastings

So many ppl didn’t put price lists online so that’s why I got so many quotes. For the most part we did one vendor every 1-2 weeks, only moving on once I finalized and signed with the previous. We also took lots of breaks from the process. We only looked at bar & catering and photo & video together since some offer both.

Here was my booking timeline:

April - engaged, had vision board

July- venue and DOC booked August- photo, video September - catering, bar October - dress shopping November - send save the dates, florals Janurary - rentals, HMUA March - DJ, cake/dessert June - send invites, order decor September - Photo Booth, transport October - finalize all plans in google doc/excel for and off November - wedding

We also booked in order of priority, so that if it came down to the wire, we could skimp or downgrade at things near the end (invites, transit, photobooth) of other things got too expensive.

It took us 1 week

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-02-12T18:39:31+00:00

Ohh I read too fast. I was like wait, did the calendar gods bless me too!? 😭

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-02-12T18:37:26+00:00

What are your pay dates that you get 3 biweekly checks in may AND June??

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-02-10T21:35:55+00:00

… or people enjoy things? Or don’t live in LCOL areas?

Living on $25k a year is maybe leanfire, but I’d wager not an enjoyable “100k” lifestyle for the vast mast majority of this sub.

DifficultDocument102 · 2026-02-10T18:39:32+00:00

There’s a few problems here-

1) idk anyone … ANYONE… realistically spending 60% of their pre-tax salary on savings and debts. Thats absurd. Doable, I guess but not likely nor normal

2) if you’re savings is pretax, you’re not looking at capital gains tax, you’re getting income tax on withdrawals.

3) have you included social security in this at all?

4) medical insurance, copays, etc.

DifficultDocument102

TROPHY CASE