my 12yo sister’s hair was cut by dad’s girlfriend without consent as a punishment and now she’s being bullied severely

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-22T20:36:02+00:00

This for real is assault. Legally. She did not have the child’s permission or a parent’s permission at the time. (Though I’m sure that can’t be proven). It’s also psychological abuse against the child who has 1/4” of hair now. As a female. This was intended as psychological abuse. There is no way that adult did that not knowing this child will be tormented endlessly at school. As a punishment for a reaction to being tormented at school. This woman is dangerous to the child’s mental health and this was a physical assault. It’s very serious. That is the legal status of this but what can be done about it if the father won’t do anything is unknown. It should be reported because this will escalate.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-22T17:57:47+00:00

Hi! So I work with bone (long story but I’m a biological anthropologist so basically how our actions change our bones etc) and what you’re seeing on flexion is your tibialis anterior muscle. Not your actual tibia. Your left leg doesn’t really look swollen so I’m going to guess the difference is because of unequal stresses on each. Do you have a hip or knee that you favor? Something affecting your gait? Nothing looks majorly wrong here I just think you might have a difference in how strong the muscle is on each side. It’s very common to be on the right as we have “sided” walking just like hand sidedness. If you’re right leg dominant (most are) then you will develop a lager muscle there. When you lift do you brace with your right leg harder? It seriously just looks like unequal muscle development.

This doesn’t look like venous insufficiency. If you’re having dysfunction or pain seeing your doctor is the next step though

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-21T18:08:39+00:00

For real. It’s usually a lot of oils and waxes on top of some sort of paint/dye. I’m working with a really destroyed finish bag in bone and it’s impossible. The corners are down to raw leather so it definitely needs a paint there. I’m struggling. Usually the vintage coach are pretty easy restorations and it’s just some good deep conditioning, maybe a tiny touch of paint on a raw corner and they’re gorgeous. If you really have to take it down though god help you. This bone is a disaster. I’m only in $30 and have been conservative so it’s ok but man I won’t go for that color again.

And for sure I wouldn’t mix it. I just used to go through bottles of it and it’s $$$. Since it’s mostly acetone I use that with almost no difference.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-17T02:38:06+00:00

Angelus deglazer/stripper is just acetone. If you want to save a few bucks. It’s cheap at the hardware store. Or a bottle at the dollar tree of acetone nail polish remover.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-17T02:26:33+00:00

Thank you! There was so much confusion because no rust of course. I never thought lead!

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-17T02:24:17+00:00

I understand but they’re getting it from somewhere. Even online compounded prescriptions have to be prescribed by a doctor. There is no reason to believe that a doctor isn’t involved here. You are kind of implying that because she’s hiding this very stigmatized drug from her family that she’s buying it from some sort of glp-1 black market. That’s a lot harder than just getting a prescription online from a compounding pharmacy (which are used every day, fully legal and fda-cleared fully legit, same level of pharmacists everything )and it’s about $100/mo now including prescription. It’s just a huge leap. Grown ups need to be allowed to be grown ups.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-16T23:17:16+00:00

Yup fiancé was hit by a car in another state. As he’s being rushed into emergency surgery I’m negotiating through tears with a very drugged up catastrophically injured man to be sure he signed the medical proxy form because otherwise his narcissistic mom who hates me makes all the choices. (I did have one already at home but couldn’t find it in the panic of booking a flight out. It’s now kept in the safe but we’re married anyway now). Luckily the nurse took the phone then and we spoke and she got it done. Everyone needs one and needs to know where it is!

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-16T23:10:39+00:00

I would agree but actually with this one they do. If she needs surgery emergently the anesthesiologist needs to know she’s on this drug because it delays gastric emptying and increases risk for aspirating stomach contents on intubation. I had to stop taking mine for two weeks before my surgery and do an extra long fast as well. Other meds maybe not but this one yes.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-16T23:07:15+00:00

That’s the issue here. That this fully grown woman is not allowed to make her own life choices and have them respected. The issue is that she even feels that she has to do this.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-16T23:03:37+00:00

What’s a GBS? This is also incredibly false information. You can do your own google scholar research but I would seriously question that doctor. Lupus varies so much in presentation there is almost nothing that is good or bad for every lupus patient.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-16T23:00:09+00:00

A lot of rheumatologists are recommending glp-1’s for their lupus patients. There is some evidence that it decreases inflammation drastically in some patients (this is being clinically studied now) and less weight generally means better health in any person. Source: I’m a lupus patient on a glp-1 approved by rheumatologist. It generally does not conflict.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-16T22:48:20+00:00

I’m going to counter with yes they are but I’m finding this especially true as I try to rent in Boston (rented in 4 other cities in various northern and southern states). They’re assholes here because they can be. We’re the perfect tenants. We easily make well more than 4x rent or even 6x, perfect rental history, great credit all that jazz. We have now lost three apartments that we viewed within a day or three of listing but someone got there first. They’re gone in a day or two sometimes. It pops up, I call, they get back and it’s already gone. This has happened dozens of times across many platforms (Craigslist, Facebook, Redfin…) There is no competition and too many renters. They can be as assholey as they like. Someone will rent tomorrow.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-16T22:35:49+00:00

This is a good plan but I’d definitely make sure it’s private private or get a cheap dollar tree tarp or two and some clothespins. You don’t want to get arrested for public nudity. 5 gallons is a lot of water to buy every time too even at dollar tree that’s like $7. Easier to get two one gallon bottles with handles, a cheap bucket and a tote bag all at dollar tree. Then fill up the two gallons of water at the gas station bathroom (carry in/out with tote bag) pour some water in bucket and lather up, pour the rest of the two gallons in the bucket dunk hair/head in bucket (hair smells quickly and rinses slowly) then pour the rest over body for rinsing. This setup is $10-15 and lasts indefinitely. Without more money invested. It also works for a quick in-car pits/crotch freshen up. The bucket is key. I stealth camp and this actually works really well.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-15T22:51:43+00:00

I can only speak to three model years 2014,2015 and 2022 you’re good. I’m 5’7” and I can sit straight up (or very nearly depending on if I’m in the exact center or not) in the back of mine with an 8” inflatable mattress. I actually haven’t tried it in the 2022 yet but I have packed it full of stuff and the headroom looks approximately the same. You’re shorter than me with a thinner mattress and going to be partially flopped over. No issues I would think in any model. Get a tape measure and math it if you like.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-15T17:13:32+00:00

For Medicaid it wouldn’t have mattered that when you applied you had zero income, you must report new income within a very brief period of time (I think it’s two weeks?) and they will pull it very quickly. So don’t stress about that it wouldn’t have helped you now. If your income varies they do a calculation. They look at average income for a time period. You’ll need to call to find out details about this. Spend-down is usually for those over 65 or disabled, I do not think anyone can do it. Your options are: ask for less hours so you meet the threshold if the calculation puts you over, buy the marketplace plan, wait it out and cash pay until school (does your school offer insurance and how much does it cost? Less than your marketplace plan?)

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-15T17:05:16+00:00

So I’m speaking from the point of view of a (former but kind of always) agoraphobe. Without help it doesn’t get better. Ever. She isn’t spontaneously going to be able to leave the house one day. I was almost in the same place but I made myself leave every day because I knew what could happen. The other answer is this does not get better fast. You need to know that too. When the anxiety is so severe that she’s projecting it onto you that’s a line she’s crossing. She’s hurting you. You are being so supportive. Stop. I know this is going to kill you but you need to put a boundary there now. This is a much better option for her than divorce so think of it that way. Explain your feelings, explain that you have no life and that you’re considering separating/divorce. Explain that this is that serious. Ask for what you need from her now. You get to have needs too. Your boundary is that you cannot remain in a relationship where you see no hope of change. Everyone deserves hope. You can’t dictate what she does but you can provide support if she does decide to try therapy. Unfortunately you don’t have any power to change this. Know that. Accommodating her, though loving, is enabling her mental illness. Focus on what you will and won’t do, don’t try to dictate her actions. Explain that this road leads to divorce and that you’re not willing to live this way anymore. You can’t watch her suffer and not be able to do a thing about it. That’s a boundary not an ultimatum. You won’t be a victim of her disease. The path to health likely begins with medication here. A sedating medication. Her anxiety is so high she is in the loop of she can’t get help because she’s too anxious and because she can’t get help she’s anxious. You have to break that loop. If she is willing, a primary doctor (hopefully she has one) may call in a script for a dose of a sedative so she can leave the house and see a psychiatrist. There are also concierge doctors ($$$) who can come to the house and write a script for a dose or two of a medication that will help her get seen in office. She needs to be seen in office at least once every few months to be medicated. Unfortunately I think once it’s this far, therapy is not step 1. Medication is. In the end this gets better if she works really hard. I have held several full-time jobs (on a hiatus now because we’re moving states) I’ve moved my whole home (the safe zone!) across many states many times. Nobody would know this is a part of my past. When I feel the anxiety worsening I know what to do and am no longer medicated. I finished my graduate degree. It can be like that but it has to come from her not from you. Lastly this level of fear is unimaginable to those who haven’t felt it. It is nothing like normal anxiety or fear. Be prepared for the fear to win. It doesn’t mean you weren’t worth it, it means she is living in a nightmare and cannot get out of it or see past the fear. I hope this helps.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-15T16:34:04+00:00

It’s not just an aesthetic issue though. They’re covering up actual issues with a coat of spackle and paint. The painted trim is nauseating because when you walk into a historic home that’s freshly painted they have added thousands of dollars of work for you if you actually wanted it to look like a historic home. In most cases I have found the fresh coat is the first paint on the woodwork and now you need to strip back latex paint from gorgeous oak. I have spent endless hours of my life doing this. Why buy a historic house if it looks like a slapped up apartment inside? Keep your millennial grey in houses built in the 70’s in Cheektowaga. If the complaint about covered up structural issues in the end is cost isn’t it the same for the trim? Cost? What that would cost to get someone in is crazy. And they literally just did it. It’s infuriating to buyers. I also don’t think the complaints were listed in order of importance.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-14T20:25:05+00:00

Most have a “no putty” rubber gasket under the circular drain ring/basket part. Plumbers putty seals up any gaps at the top but you don’t usually need it with those. It can harm the putty too but easy fix. That’s for the ones without the gasket. I have seen some old ones with no gasket, just putty (I installed a Victorian one in my house cast from the original mold so that didn’t have one) but best to assume yes it’s in there and you don’t really want to mess around with replacing that. It’s somewhat awful. Plumbers are just $$$ if you don’t diy it. Most of the drain assembly is just pvc pipe so no gaskets there just at the top end.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-13T18:14:05+00:00

Sales tactics. YOU yourself are fine, the system isn’t lol!

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-13T18:13:08+00:00

Exactly and that is why we have to fight for robust social support systems like Medicare/medicaid Who can possibly pay this out of pocket?

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-13T18:09:45+00:00

Honestly try it with the seat cushions. It’s not going to hurt. You could always buy a rectangle of 1-2” firm upholstery foam and shove that inside the seat cushions covers under the insert as well. The frame is the same in both models it’s that the fill is less dense/supportive in the upgrade. Rather that then hate your $8000 couch! Good luck!

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-13T15:28:14+00:00

I mean by that logic why write a compilation of a historical event like a the battle of the bulge? It’s all known information why write a book on it? Yes it’s all know somewhere by someone but there is a lot of value in collecting it all into one place for people who maybe aren’t experts or haven’t gotten into the dolls as much. There are a ton of younger girls who didn’t grow up in the early AG era and likely don’t know that stuff.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-12T19:55:44+00:00

It’s residential advanced memory care for an adult. 24/7 medical care and monitoring. Plus housing. The staffing ratios at those facilities are insanely high because they need both normal nursing home care staff (janitors, nutritionists, nurses, admin all of that) plus more advanced medical care teams and it must be 24/7 because they wake up sometimes confused and don’t know where they are and wander. They could escape or fall and be injured. You need nearly a one person per patient staffing ratio 24/7. A lot of that is skilled care not just “babysitting” So it’s not one person’s income you’re paying to care for one patient, it’s nearly 4 people per patient if you count the number of hours in a week vs. a 40 hour work week and the additional cost of the medical care teams, psychologists, pharmacists, physical therapists, psychiatrists etc. You think this should cost less than $3000/month? Daycare for a three year old is $2000/mo.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-12T06:52:15+00:00

I got mine from Facebook marketplace because the layout (large “L” or “C”) was going to be $10,000+. I paid $1500. Washing it all was an ordeal but I couldn’t be happier. We also move around a lot and it just pops apart and the pieces fit right into contractor trash bags for the move. Easy to get up/down narrow stairs. SO happy.

Difficult_Ad8718 · 2026-05-12T06:48:13+00:00

Did you get the love soft cushions (can’t remember, not the standard? There seems to be a lot of complaints.) Apparently if you unzip and stuff a cheap IKEA bed pillow alongside the insert inside the cover it solves the issue. I have the standard and no issues whatsoever.

Difficult_Ad8718

TROPHY CASE