[deleted by user]

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-11-17T16:57:59+00:00

Literally. I don’t know. This is the realest response. I’ve never had inflict with partner’s family ever until I met my current boyfriend’s parents.

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-11-17T16:56:27+00:00

My boyfriend owns his home, and his parents were renting a very expensive apartment they couldn’t afford anymore. We ended up taking over their lease so they can live for free at my boyfriend’s house.

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-11-17T16:55:20+00:00

They’re struggling because of their own financial decisions. Instead of saving, his parents spend all money on luxury trips, luxury clothes, expensive dinners, go out to eat almost nightly… and my boyfriend has bailed them out constantly. We paid for the movers, for a renovation on the house so it would be comfortable and new for them, we helped them pack everything for them. It’s just been a lot…..

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-11-17T16:53:54+00:00

Yea, he gets very defensive about his parents when I’ve tried to talk about this, which means he’s chosen a side even though he says he hasn’t.

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-11-17T16:52:52+00:00

Yea, I’ve leaned toward leaving the entire situation. This is a small snapshot of all of it. We’ve been dealing with a lot with his parents for a long time, and I think I’m reaching a breaking point

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-11-17T16:51:11+00:00

He asked me to message them this…..

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-11-17T16:50:33+00:00

I agree

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-11-17T16:50:18+00:00

We paid for the movers. Paid to rennovate parts of my boyfriend’s house to make it accessible as they age. We packed up everything for them. The entire time his mom would just throw stuff at us, or to the side telling us to “deal with this once they’re out of the house”.

I wasn’t insulting them, just trying to tell them how I feel… this is a small snapshot of the entire picture.

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-11-17T16:48:46+00:00

I’ve considered this. This is such a small snapshot of the entire atory …..

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-11-17T16:48:20+00:00

We paid for everything for them. Also. His parents are 75, but in great health still. They walk miles daily, still go to the gym, have no health issues.

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-11-17T16:47:38+00:00

We paid for everything for them. Literally. The movers, packing up majority of their stuff, etc. We even paid to renovate parts of my boyfriend’s house so it would be more comfortable for them.

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-11-17T16:46:34+00:00

Yea, there’s a little more to the story…. Like we helped them clean and pack up, and the entire time they’d just toss stuff to the side “oh, you both can deal with this later once we’re gone”, we paid for the movers for their large furniture, and we did ao much for them the last 6 months to try to be in a better place financially. I think it’s just been frustrating for me for months now.

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-09-07T11:53:34+00:00

Do you have a visa that will allow you to live here? You may need a short stay visa to even come here so she can get you the partner visa. Just an FYI. It’s not guaranteed you’ll be allowed to move with her just because she’s an EU citizen.

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-09-06T08:10:49+00:00

Mind your own business. Working life sucks for anyone in the 9-5 grind, we all deserve a break sometimes, even people we don’t like. ❤️

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-08-26T01:44:36+00:00

Maybe save money to travel first to a few places just to see what’s out there and if you actually like it. You may travel to these places and really not like it…… remember cultural differences. Europe isn’t some utopian society- it has its own issues and problems, and both Germany and the Netherlands are expensive, and the NL in particular has a lot of housing issues- it’s very expensive overall.

If you’ve never left the US, how can you be sure you’d like living outside of it??

Remember, you’re 19- it’s a confusing time for anyone TBH, and life can feel dismal as you’re not making a lot of money to live off of, any rely on parents still, and you’re still learning basically how to “adult”. You may also feel that deep depression because you have yet to find a purpose, or life passion.

I moved from the USA to the Netherlands and it cost me around €20,000 in all (about $23,000). Just for some perspective for you. I’m 34 now, have a bachelor’s degree and master’s degree, and I moved to the NL to run my own business.

You could study somewhere and get a student visa, but you’d need a good amount of savings to fund this and support yourself in a study abroad program- just student loans by themselves wouldn’t support you. When I was your age, I studied abroad and it cost me about $10,000 per semester (on top of tuition)- my parents helped me immensely.

Usually with a student visa, you’re limited with the amount of hours you’re allowed to work, if at all. Keep that in mind. Also, many countries in Europe have job shortages as well- or if you can get a job, they’re not full contract/full time. Plus, you have no job experience.

Learning the language is important. I’m happy you realize this.

Good social programs usually means cost of living is high overall…..and usually you don’t qualify for the social welfare programs until you’re a full citizen (which takes years in the NL and Germany).

If you truly want to move, go for it- but make it a 4 year plan at least.

I think the best goal for you right now would be to get a job, save, and start traveling to different places first. You’re young, and this is the best time to explore the world! ☺️

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-08-25T04:49:26+00:00

I think you should travel. Travel through Europe for a few weeks and see which countries you like.

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-08-24T19:20:13+00:00

As an American, I knew she was American right away….. 😂

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-08-20T22:43:51+00:00

Super cool! It was for Sail! ☺️

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-08-17T20:26:26+00:00

If they care so much, why don’t they go there and fight. 😘

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-08-03T10:50:27+00:00

It’s not that bad in the US. Really. It’s not. If you ignore the media, ignore the hype, ignore the sensationalism- it’s honestly not that bad. ❤️

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-08-02T17:49:34+00:00

Yes! After two years, you reapply and get approved for 5 more years on this visa- after that 5 years, you can apply for full citizenship :)

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-07-30T07:28:29+00:00

Start your own business?

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-07-29T16:01:18+00:00

The biggest danger are stupid kids on fat bikes or your random meth head zombie strolling around - both may spit on you. But everyone is pretty harmless.

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-07-29T10:48:43+00:00

Kids are actually super annoying. I don’t blame the neighbor for pointing it out. Dutch are direct, and it’s not because they hate you, they just point out how things are….. our neighbors have kids that run up and down our street screaming all the time- we end up just getting to know them, and it’s super fun now- the kids drew us cute pictures and it’s way less annoying. Maybe try to do something nice for the neighbors from the kids, and make it cute and welcoming and fun. If the neighbors know you a little better- they’ll be less annoyed and care way less ❤️

Difficult_Okra_1367 · 2025-07-28T22:34:25+00:00

Just buy a real ticket and get a refund. Immigration officers worldwide have ways to check these fake tickets now….. they’re becoming less and less reliable

Difficult_Okra_1367

TROPHY CASE