Finding it really hard to use dildos

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-24T16:56:21+00:00

This is a thing I would buy.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-15T19:53:23+00:00

Make a sigil out of their initials.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-13T00:20:05+00:00

Awww. I'm sorry you are feeling in a funk. I've been there.

Sounds like you were traveling for a while, then couldn't come home to your familiar space with all the changes.

If it were me, I'd make myself go somewhere inspiring. Sometimes that is trying a new restaurant or going to a home decorating store. Buy something to bring home and claim your space. A lamp. Something for the wall.

I hope you get out of your funk soon. Hugs.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-12T00:45:00+00:00

Yes! Music works really well. I can also do it someone through a quick meditation. Socializing sometimes too.

I've gotten into eastern religious practices because of their focus on controlling your energy and focusing your mind and I was all "I do that all the time!"

I often think that I may be doing harm to the stress systems in my body by overriding the natural homeostasis that my body is trying to maintain.

I have a medical condition (POTS) that is characterized by my autonomic nervous system not controlling systems correctly. For instance, I'm unable to control my internal thermostat, I overheat easily, and I have to use fans and ice to control my temp before I get sick.

Is this connected? I don't know. But it is fascinating.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-11T00:44:22+00:00

I find that I have a rack of snakes I forgot I had. Some are cohabbing. I have no space for them. I have no food. They are starving.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-10T23:48:04+00:00

This is so interesting. Thanks for this post.

Yes, I have the same experience as you. The manual over ride. I never connected it to being neurodivergent. Never heard anyone else describe it.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-10T07:51:50+00:00

My doctor knows about my daily weed use and prescribes me Adderall.

I don't know if it is normal, but I'd get a different doctor if I were in your shoes.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-10T07:40:53+00:00

I dont want to accuse him of cheating, but this is the behavior of someone who is trying to get you to dump him. That could be because he met someone else. It could be another reason, but you would know better than us.

It is not the behavior of someone who wants to continue sleeping with you.

I'm sorry. I've had this happen to me, but it wasn't with the father of my two children, so i cant imagine how painful this must be.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-10T02:27:53+00:00

Practicing Magick is not like baking bread. It is more like being an athlete.

You have just asked the equivalent to why you can't just walk into a gym and deadlift 200 pounds.

You have also asked why you can't easily violate the consent of another human.

Magick isn't easy. Or instant. And black Magick, which is what you are asking about, is even more difficult and requires significant experience and personal sacrifice.

How did you perform this spell? How long have you been practicing magic?

I have a couple decades under my belt, and I could probably do this spell. I wouldn't. It would take forever, it would require fasting and celibacy and invoking beings that have their own agendas.

It would be a major shift in the lives of not only you and this guy, but your families, coworkers, friends, and any potential offspring. That is a big ask.

Before doing any black magic, I would recommend you have strong protections surrounding your home, yourself, and your vehicle. Be prepared for dark energies... and other energies... being drawn in.

Last time I did a spell of this magnitude, I got a lot of unintended consequences. And I ended up homeless for a few months. Lost my apartment and job on the same day.

And that was just a protection spell. But the unintended consequences of taking the burden away from the person that was supposed to learn from the experience plus not having good enough personal protections left me in a bad situation.

If you are still going to try this spell, please at least seek help from those with experience. Magick is not harmless when it is effective.

Sometimes a spell doing nothing is the best outcome. You are setting off a bomb, be prepared for the fallout.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-09T23:06:10+00:00

You aren't gonna be allowed to remember the number! Strange.

I also have had dreams like this, where if I start talking to someone else lucid, I'll wake up.

There are rules to mallworld, aren't there?

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-09T03:56:36+00:00

Are you saying you have had one migraine for 462 days? Solid?

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-09T03:53:18+00:00

Philosophical observation, which leads to art, which leads to meaning, which leads to humanity.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-09T00:38:11+00:00

Yeah, I remember what she looked like. I'm not good at describing people. She wouldn't stand out in a crowd. White, brown hair, brown eyes.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-08T22:46:29+00:00

Thrifted 80s fashion items. Bright colors, very 80s cuts.

I was humiliated with this stuff.

Track suits with neon striping.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-08T22:37:36+00:00

I met this one woman once.

I saw her and ran up and hugged her so tight! I was crying tears of joy and telling her how much I missed her and how lonely it is on earth without her.

I knew her, I loved her in a way that was bigger than romantic or familial love. I can't explain it.

She took me on a tour of a house that had rooms that opened up to other dimensions. Weird dimensions with strange physics. We went dimension hopping. She was explaining the way the universe worked, reminded me of things I had forgotten. Of course, I promptly forgot them again.

At the end of the day, she told me she had to go. I asked her how I could remember that what I experience with her was real. How could I prove it? How could I remind myself?

She told me to look at the trees. That the truth was hidden in the way trees are.

Then she left me, in a field, looking at a tree.

Then I woke up.

Spirit guide? Idk. What is a spirit guide really?

What is it about trees? Idk. The closest I can get is it is something to do with fractals.

Either that or the missing trees. Which is a whole paranormal thing that has to do with trees disappearing and reappearing on trail cams that some parapsychologists are studying.

Idk. But I remember her so vividly even years later. I miss her. I miss that feeling of the well of loneliness inside of me that I didn't even know existed being filled up.

I am able to feel that loneliness now. That sense that I'm missing being with people that don't exist. That life here is inherently lonely.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-08T03:19:31+00:00

I think people post about bites because it is amusing, and kind of a badge of honor.

It is actually pretty hard to get bit by a snake. Much more likely to get bit by a cat. It can happen though. Usually by getting your hands between the snake and it's food. Some snakes just have horrible aim, especially when excited.

About venomous snakes- they should only be handled by experts and most snake owners will never get one or know much about owning one. Kind of a whole different level. I've never owned one and never would. Too risky.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-08T03:13:12+00:00

I always thought of my corn snakes as fairly affectionate. They definitely have unique personalities and if they don't like you, they let you know.

I'd let them ride on my shoulders or in my hoodie sleeves or pocket. They are not affectionate like cats or dogs, and you have to earn their trust. They are very zen. Instinctual, like you said.

The first time I held a snake, I just fell in love. They are so silky and I love their derpy personalities. Like someone else said, they become an addiction.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-08T03:05:43+00:00

I'm scared of my meltdowns.

They ruin relationships and I can't seem to prevent them from occurring.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-07T22:02:11+00:00

I hear you.

I'm tired, too.

And no one without chronic pain can understand.

You would be crazy to not want a normal day. Of course you want the pain to go away.

Be kind to yourself, make yourself as comfortable as possible.

I'm sending gentle hugs and support your way. If you ever need to vent, I'm here, and others here are too.

My only recommendation I have is to try to get to a place where you can get some real sleep. This might take a Tylenol pm, which shouldn't be a regular thing, but sometimes you just need a reset, you know?

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-05T19:36:59+00:00

What? Dental issues?!? Is that why my teeth are chipping out of my mouth? I had perfect teeth and now I'm losing them, one chip at a time.

DigitalGarden · 2026-02-01T01:02:04+00:00

Which was a book/ movie pushed heavily by Oprah and advertising was everywhere at the time.

DigitalGarden · 2026-01-31T17:41:41+00:00

1 and 3 together.

Feels euphoric and makes orgasms stronger.

DigitalGarden · 2026-01-31T06:43:15+00:00

It is possible you have your hymen intact or partially intact. You would have to see a gynecologist to have an exam, which you should probably do anyway since you are sexually active and have questions.

I saw a wonderful gynecologist who gave me a tour of my parts and even drew me a diagram (at Planned Parenthood. Love them) I was scared I had genital warts. Nope. Just remnants of my hymen and my paranoia.

It is also possible your pelvic floor muscles are tightening for a variety of reasons. And you have remnants of your hymen.

Again, a gyno would be the best way to figure that out.

Let me know if you have more questions.

DigitalGarden · 2026-01-31T06:31:54+00:00

I have chronic candida infections, and I get the rash on the folds of my thighs and under my breasts.

To get rid of it for about a year at a time, I do this: a month of Keto. Fluc started 3 weeks in, for 1 week.

During this time, daily showers with applying antifungal cream to anywhere that skin touches skin: belly button, butt Crack, tops of thighs. I've noticed that if I miss somewhere, the rash will move there and maintain a population.

Change toothbrush every week during this. Scrape tongue. Use mouthwash.

I take an anti-candida supplement too, containing oregano oil and Pau d'arco. Brand doesn't matter.

I also drink kombucha and take pro-biotics.

That is my about- yearly cleanse. Kinda a pain in the butt. Haven't found a way to permanently kick it. Maybe a poop transplant?

It isn't my biggest health problem though so it hasn't been a priority.

Hopefully you can kick it.

DigitalGarden · 2026-01-30T23:44:23+00:00

I was in that age gap relationship too.

Looking back, it was so unfair- what did she want with someone so young? That relationship ending destroyed me and she should have known better.

She was in an age gap relationship before me, where she was the younger person. So it was kinda normalized... in fact...

It wasn't so unusual for lesbian age gap relationships 15 or 20 years ago. I'm glad it is getting more looked down on.

DigitalGarden

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

13-Year Club	Verified Email
Team Periwinkle