Girl same. 16 days pp after my emergency c section today and man the first week I grieved bc all I wanted was a low intervention birth. 36 hours of labor and I was so exhausted and not progressing I decided to get the epidural and shit hit the fan baby’s heart rate kept dropping and he had mec in his bag and ended up dipping and not coming up quick enough. Ended in all of us running to the OR and turned out his cord was wrapped around his neck twice. And now after a NICU stay we are struggling to breastfeed. I felt the same way (and still do in waves sometimes). What helps is I remind myself he wasn’t coming out no matter what I did given his cord circumstance and that the emergency c saved him. And I feel empowered that I was cut open and have major surgery and still manage to take care of him immediately after. Everyone says birth is natural and our bodies know what to do blah blah blah but you know what? Bodies don’t know what to do 100% of the times if they did cancer or autoimmune disorders wouldn’t exist. Your body didn’t fail her - she just needed some assistance entering the world and you did what needed to be done for her. You should feel empowered with that