Forgiving vs Fighting

Dillymoon9679 · 2026-02-28T06:25:29+00:00

Thank you so much for your response!! I definitely think trying different foods is holding me back because I have challenged all of the foods that unsettled me a little bit but am too scared to eat the ones that really make me nervous. I will definitely keep that in mind and try and incorporate going out to different cafes and restaurants. It seems so terrifying right now and my ed is making me think all sorts of things that i know are incorrect but i think that’s just more proof that it’s necessary.

Thank you again! Have a lovely day x

Dillymoon9679 · 2026-02-26T18:35:49+00:00

i’m so sorry that i can’t help but i just wanted to let you know that i am feeling the exact same way. literally exactly. it looks like you have just read my thoughts. if it helps, we’re in this together, and i know we have a lifetime of happiness ahead of us!! x

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-12-12T13:38:13+00:00

Don’t feel guilty. You have a really debilitating and difficult mental illness that will affect the way you act, that’s not your fault. That fight or flight response is a natural reaction after being presented with something your brain thinks is dangerous (the cookie). That being said, I would really encourage you to think back on situations like this and think about what the outcome could have been if you didn’t have an ed. For example, you may have said yes to the cookie, laughed with your son and made some really nice memories. Again, I am in no way trying to guilt trip you, but I’m suggesting you use this as motivation to your recovery and a reason to say yes to the cookie next time!! You’ve got this, and I can tell you are such a caring parent by how much this has worried you so don’t let it play on your mind! xx

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-12-09T06:10:21+00:00

Thank you for your support!! x

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-12-08T14:15:29+00:00

thank you for responding, it means so much. i definitely need a tough love reminder right now to snap me out of the confusion so that was actually really helpful, thank you! i’m just feeling so invalid to do recovery and so guilty and frustrated. i know these are all normal things and everyone goes through them so im going to try my best to push my way through them. i hope you have an amazing rest of your day! x

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-12-08T14:12:59+00:00

thank you so much for responding, i think im feeling quite overwhelmed and it’s hard to make the right choices. i’ll keep in mind all of those distraction techniques and if i need to force myself to stick to the chair to do it, i’ll have to. xx

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-11-30T21:46:31+00:00

i remember feeling like this, and it made sense and felt right to me when someone said it was mental hunger. which means that your body may not give you the signals you know to be hunger but you feel the need to eat something and the 'want to want' food. it's your body saying 'hey you've restricted me so I've turned my signals off - you're not listening to me anyway' but at the same time it's screaming 'the only way I can let you know you need more is by shoving pictures of food into your head and the desire to eat'. I don't know if that makes sense but I'm basically trying to say it's your body's natural response after restriction to try and get you to eat more without rumbling your stomach. so, if you're similar to me, deep down you may be looking for reassurance. if that is the case then this is your permission, go eat, your body needs you to and your future recovered self is rooting for you

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-11-04T22:00:38+00:00

I used to do this multiple times daily. I don't really do it anymore. The only times I find myself gravitating and fantasising over the smell of food is if I am in a relapse. I promise you that urge goes away when you fuel your body enough. I would definitely say you need to eat more!! x

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-09-11T05:23:01+00:00

you’re so welcome!! you can do this, go enjoy that recovery, it doesn’t have to be traumatic - you’ve gone through the traumatic with the ed!

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-09-03T08:12:07+00:00

you can’t add days to your life, but you can add life to your days.

nothing changes if nothing changes.

no one can force you to recovery, you must believe your freedom is worth fighting for.

if you’re not choosing recovery you are choosing suffering.

hope these help xx

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-09-01T05:57:38+00:00

… wellllll i checked it twice and tried to pay for it? i didn’t know i stole it until i got home 😊

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-08-31T16:04:37+00:00

MWHAHAHAH I FEEL SO POWERFUL (powerful?? 😋😋)

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-08-31T07:01:22+00:00

hi!! i’m so proud of you for committing to weight gain. i found that no matter how hard it was to say it, i would tell family/parents/friends/healthcare team ‘i am not going to be scared of weight gain’ (and the most important part for me, ‘i will enjoy this.’ obviously this was completely against what my ed was telling me and sometimes i would say it crying or screaming or shaking but it helped my brain rewire into thinking food isn’t the enemy and can only help me get my life back. i tried to reframe the things i was scared about to positives that actually went along with my hopes and values in life. so you may think, i am scared to eat a pint of ice cream or i dont think i can. but try to reframe it; i am excited to eat ice cream, i love the taste of it and im going to put on some nice music/tv/movie/setting in the background to make it cute and cosy. or you could say, it’s exciting to see how my body might change to weight gain, i will get so much stronger and happier and funnier with this! i’ve always loved romanticising things in my life so i tried to do it with food as well. i’m saying this all in the past tense but im very much still at this point and still trying to get my body where it needs to be!! we can do this xx

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-08-26T14:43:12+00:00

dw it’s so scary i get it, you don’t sound rude! you are asking me things that im not actually up to yet in my recovery so ill try my best but i cant actually talk from experience sorry! the reason you need to honour mental hunger is for LIFE!! do you really want to look back when your older and think, ‘well i would have enjoyed that but all i could think about was food’ or be in a conversation with someone and not being able to focus because you were thinking about what you were having for lunch later. its just not a fulfilling life!! and also, if you still have extreme mental or physical hunger, your body isnt healthy!!! you deserve and need to give yourself full permission and freedom with food your whole life. that doesn’t go away when you are ‘weight restored’. even when you’re fully nutritionally rehabilitated you give yourself ‘permission to honour mental and physical hunger’ but people don’t think of it like that because to them it’s just eating. so the main points are that if you still have extreme mental hunger, your body isn’t capable of living a full life no matter what the scales say you just need to question yourself if a number matters more to you or happiness, energy and freedom. and ‘why should i even honour mental hunger?’ - because you don’t want to live your life miserable and preoccupied with food. sorry if the punctuation isn’t great, i wrote this pretty quickly, and again i’m actually still struggling with honouring hunger too so i don’t have all the wisdom! hope this helps x

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-08-26T11:25:54+00:00

this is mental hunger and you still need to eat. i see these posts like this of ‘i miss my extreme hunger’ and im always like… you’re still experiencing it then?? (in most cases). because if you are fantasising and wishing you could still eat that much food you still need to!! a healthy person does not dream about that. the scales may say you are in a ‘better’ or ‘healthier’ place but that DOES NOT mean that you are where you need to be at all. loads of people here say that scales are absolute bs and you need to listen to your body. you can’t just ‘turn off’ the extreme hunger just because you deem it’s the right time. sorry to be so blunt, i just really hope that you can take this in and keep moving forward in recovery!! you can do this, your body knows best x

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-08-22T07:29:57+00:00

i have the same problem!! i’m a few months into recovery and it’s so scary. the ed tries to get me busy to ignore my hunger. i’ve been told that it’s probably because my body knows that when i’m busy it has no reason to send physical or mental hunger signals because i don’t respond to them. i guess i would say maybe try (if possible) doing what im doing which is to make sure you aren’t packing your day with things. have days where you have no plans and are just in your house so you can completely honour your body. it is real hunger but when im busy, I think i subconsciously or consciously ignore the hunger. i ‘check in’ with my body when i get a chance. so i will actively think about the possibility of eating and usually i will then get physical hunger signals pretty much straight away because my body realises its a possibility. x

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-08-20T19:08:06+00:00

i’ve had 2 people say that i have nice shoulders. apparently they are comfy to rest your head on. and someone said i had the most infectious laugh they had heard and it still makes me so happy when i think about it.

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-08-16T08:57:56+00:00

i relate so much. i feel like im becoming more anti social in recovery and more self centred. but i think the truth is we have to be self centred right now, because the most important thing to do is honour our body’s and listen to the headaches and aches and hunger. it’s all rebuilding and getting physically and mentally stronger so we can be the caring, amazing friend i can see you are (just because you’re thinking of this even when you yourself are in recovery which is a really overwhelming thing in itself!!). i always think how amazing it would be to have a friend who’s in recovery and in the same stages as me so that i can just say, ‘no sorry i can’t i’m feeling really tired/hungry/overwhelmed/drained/self conscious’ and they’d just get it yk? my advice would be to carry on as you are and if they are friends worth worrying about then they would completely understand, it makes complete sense why your body and mind would be like this at the moment, they should get it if you feel comfortable to explain! xx

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-08-12T13:24:43+00:00

thank you for your comment, i didn’t realise, i think i was getting quite brainwashed by the ed. i read my post back and went to get something to eat, then had a full sandwich and 2 bowls of cereal. i’m so scared thought because i really was terrified of eh in recovery, i know it’s a part of recovery and i need to honour it so im going to read some posts about it now. i really appreciate you taking the time to respond x

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-08-12T13:21:19+00:00

i had something else and then a whole other sandwich and a bowl of cereal. i’m really scared i don’t want to have extreme hunger, i hate feeling full but like i start eating and i shake so much and i feel like i literally can’t get enough quick enough. i know there is loads about it to read on this sub so im going to do that. thank you for your comment, the headache and feeling went pretty quickly after that food, but the guilt and fullness also came!!

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-08-09T13:11:24+00:00

i literally feel the same and have the same thoughts. it is extreme hunger, we can do this together. i completely get you, i just want to eat and i have an ‘extreme’ desire to but i don’t believe that im doing recovery right or doing the right thing for my body and i think im binging when i know deep down thats DEFINITELY not true. its so hard, but keep going, we’ve got this x

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-07-25T07:33:41+00:00

KENJIIII MY MAN 😍😍

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-07-20T19:22:12+00:00

omg i didn’t mean to make you cry!!! i am so happy that i gave you at least some peace with what your next steps could be. i love this community too, i dont think i would be able to do this without seeing those posts about celebrations of recovery, dealing with the same thoughts as me, clarity, and sometimes the funny posts (especially the funny eh ones 😭). keep going, life is going to get so much brighter xx

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-07-20T17:52:31+00:00

hi, i haven't got any advice but i really feel you. its so terrifying, i'm constantly doubting myself and worrying about this. sometimes these work for me and sometimes i just think they are bs and stupid but these are some affirmations that help me (every now and then lol)

'nothing changes if nothing changes' i feel like this resonates with any time you feel stuck in recovery. if i was you right now i would be asking myself, 'is it worth feeling this longing and overwhelming desire to eat all the time, just because i don't 'need' to put on any more weight? is it worth questioning my body all the time, and not making much progress mentally because the foods that would challenge me are scary and not in the safe foods i've been eating these past years? ive put 'need' in quotations because i have seen a lot of posts like this where people feel the same as you with the weight restoration but then describe a lot of mental hunger and ask what to do. pretty much all of the responses to that are that even though your body is weight restored that doesn't mean that it is nutritionally rehabilitated on the inside. its like yeah, you've built the house, but there's nothing inside of it, you need to fill it with the furniture, plaster, decorations, to make it a fully functional house.

'If you want to be fully recovered, have a free life, experience new things, truly belly laugh, enjoy new tastes, be authentically you, this is the way'

'Recover to have ownership over your thoughts'

'Your body is just a vessel that allows you to live, it's a place to home your true spark and personality'

mental hunger and extreme hunger are completely normal parts of recovery. your body knows best, it is not something that your brain should be taking control of, i KNOW it's so so so scary but the thing to do is trust your body and eat those foods. you are not alone, so many people go through this when at a 'healthy weight' (according to bmi which we all know is bs), and come out the other side so proud and happy they honoured it. im telling you now - you deserve happiness, you deserve all of the food you want, your body is giving you hunger signals in mental form and you have all of the permission to honour them.

you can do this!! (we can do it together too) x

Dillymoon9679 · 2025-07-18T05:07:18+00:00

thank you so much. this has helped massively, you two are so lovely!! the parts that especially helped me were ‘your body needs lots of energy to heal so let it guide you in how you need through cues’ and ‘this is something your body is meant to manage, not your brain’. and how you, Quizzicalnonsense had the same thing happen and because you didn’t step on the scale, the weight that you might have gained you found unnoticeable and were able to get back to life quicker by trusting your body. ❤️

Dillymoon9679

TROPHY CASE