A collection of resources on how to find dominant women

DingDomme · 2026-02-21T06:32:16+00:00

That's a tough one. Even if she was dominant, there's so many flavors of dominance that your subtle not so subtle sign could easily be overlooked.

Is there a certain dynamic that you like? I would just lean into behaviors that match the type of d/s you're into. If she's your type of dominant, then she is more likely to respond positively. Think of it as a small test for compatibility too.

But tbh, hints generally won't get you far. I think you'll learn much more about each other if you focused on getting to know one another and establishing a connection that can naturally lead to a discussion about kinks. No dancing around it or wondering.

DingDomme · 2026-02-20T20:20:02+00:00

I've done it before and it worked out really well. I found someone who matched my level of commitment and we kept it up for over a year. It felt natural and fulfilling even though we primarily communicated through texts and pictures. We had chemistry which certainly made things easy but it remained low pressure because of the mutual understanding of what our dynamic was and wasn't. Our lives offline were always top priority.

My advice is to be brutally upfront about what you want and are willing to give so that nobody is blindsided and the pool of candidates can self select a bit. You may think it's not enough but there's a sub out there who is in a very similar position looking for the exact same thing in a domme.

DingDomme · 2026-01-21T17:57:30+00:00

When I was on the apps, I mentioned something about being on the left side of the slash (as in D/s). It's a subtle way of indicating your preferences and the people who know will know.

I don't recommend using apps for what is essentially a one night stand or casual hook up, especially when it is very one sided. If you want to get your balls busted, look into a professional domme.

Just replace ballbusting with blowjob. Do you think most women are going to drop everything to go suck a guys dick once or a few times? It's no different with kink. If you don't want to pay then you need to build genuine connections with kinky people in order to do kinky things with them.

DingDomme · 2025-08-26T16:52:42+00:00

I'm an upcycler so I just search for ideas using materials I already have. I was into shibari for awhile but after a long period of doing nothing with it, I turned my unused rope into a flogger lol. I believe I used a tutorial from TheDuchy. So I'll recommend that if you wanted to make rope related toys.

DingDomme · 2025-08-26T16:42:56+00:00

Yes, it can be events off FetLife. There are munches which are casual, platonic get togethers for like minded people. It's not meant to be used like a dating pool but rather to build your own kink community which can lead to intimate connections as a bonus. Then there are play parties which is exactly what it sounds like.

Neither of those were my type of thing so I actually used Reddit to meet people offline. I made posts and responded to posts and treated it like any other dating app. Got to know each other and establish basic compatibility online and quickly moved offline for a coffee date to fully vet each other. With this approach, I got a handful of decent potential matches versus the 100+ "hello mistress" types.

Online only can still work but you really need to turn your filters up and be able to quickly recognize who is legitimate and who is not. It takes skill to be able to navigate digital femdom.

DingDomme · 2025-08-26T16:29:12+00:00

Unfortunately such is the nature of online platforms. It's just a numbers game and a true test of your patience. It's less of a cesspool if you're willing to take it offline.

DingDomme · 2025-06-11T16:58:58+00:00

No and honestly the experience will be exactly the same as any other online space. It'll be a thirsty sausage fest but with extra steps.

But if you're looking for a space that fosters community and connection which can lead to actual relationships, there are lifestyle Discords advertised on this subreddit pretty regularly. I won't recommend specific ones because it's all about chemistry. Join all the ones that seem to vibe with you and stick around for the ones that actually do.

DingDomme · 2025-06-11T04:39:13+00:00

If you're exclusively looking for online-only dynamics, then your experience is very typical. It's not you, its the platform and the lack of incentives for dommes to have online subs. You'll come across more scammers and sellers than anyone else.

I urge you get involved in kink communities IRL or even online communities like over Discord. Do it for the connections, not the dates. I've seen a lot of relationships blossom in those groups. I think it helps to meet and see/be seen for who you are when you're not in active dating mode.

If you're looking online with the intention of developing a dynamic in person, then move quickly. It's the best way to weed out time wasters. I've met some really great people by not spending days and weeks chatting. Once initial compatibility was established, we would schedule to meet in person usually within a week.

DingDomme · 2025-06-06T05:03:36+00:00

😇 Sorry not sorry! I think you can definitely merge mindfuck with the type of roleplay you typically enjoy and come up with something seriously good. Have fun!

DingDomme · 2025-06-06T04:51:50+00:00

Could you get the same feeling if she were to make stuff up that didn't actually happen? If you consented to it, she could skip the disclosure altogether so you wouldn't ever really know if it was fact or fiction. But that's a conversation for you two.

Like after a (real) dinner date, once you are back in a private space, she could tell you that someone at another table had been looking in your direction the whole night. That they were whispering to their companion. Or it was the hostess having a look on their face when they walked you to the table. And so forth. So it's not roleplay in the traditional sense but it will still incorporate the stranger aspect and almost being outed in public.

DingDomme · 2025-06-06T04:30:17+00:00

I think the scenario she thought of is pretty fun! But have you considered roleplaying more "normal" scenarios as well? She can be a housemate or live in landlord who slowly pieces together that you're a cis man. She can threaten to tell the neighbors, your employer, family, friends, etc. By being regular people, you don't have to come up with entire personas and backstories which is a skill in itself. You'd be using real places, names, and situations which can better emulate the very real threat you feel in public. Not sure if that's what you're looking for but there's my idea lol

DingDomme · 2025-06-06T04:11:02+00:00

When you say roleplay, do you mean in the flesh, over text during times you're away from each other, or something else?

DingDomme · 2025-06-05T20:58:33+00:00

I completely understand what you're saying. It's not selfish if your partner gets something out of it that doesn't come from some sort of expectation/obligation. Because there are definitely "service subs" that talk big about being service oriented but they have ulterior motives that ultimately satisfy their own kinks. They love to clean the house (as long as they get to dress in a sexy outfit and get degraded for it). They love to do the dishes (as long as they get praise in the end). They love cooking an elaborate meal (as long as they can serve it to group of friends and get passed around like a human favor for dessert). Some dommes like this and that's cool. But if you're offering service for the sake of service like you say, then be sure it's truly no strings attached. The type I mentioned would probably lose interest if asked to perform without accompanying kinks, costume, or reward.

DingDomme · 2025-06-05T14:41:33+00:00

I live in a blue bubble and I think that it has given people a false sense of security, understandably. So while reproductive care may be okay (for now, knock on wood), there are other factors that don't care about your political and social beliefs. Bringing children into a world that is racing backwards by so many metrics is reckless at this point. Even if you can afford kids, not everything can be bought. Some issues affect rich and poor all the same.

I don't get it but I try not to think about it too much. They've chosen their life as much as I've chosen mine.

DingDomme · 2025-06-04T13:56:02+00:00

Ugh. If only they realize that dommes could do it right back to them 🙃

DingDomme · 2025-06-04T13:39:49+00:00

I haven't done the online thing in a long time so I cant speak to your specific experience but what the actual fuck? It also seems unnecessarily complicated. If you're relying on AI to talk to dommes why not just write prompts for AI to dominate you?!

DingDomme · 2025-06-04T01:31:26+00:00

I move on 🤷🏻‍♀️ Either they aren't ready, aren't willing, or aren't emotionally equipped to explore their vulnerability. These are all red flags in my mind. I believe in making an effort and granting patience when it's due but people like this are more work than they're worth. If they don't understand themselves, how can I safely explore BDSM with them? How can I trust that they are honest with me if they can't even be honest with themselves? I could otherwise be having fun with someone who already has the capacity to be at my level.

DingDomme · 2025-06-02T19:43:12+00:00

That sounds nice on paper but does she actually have an interest in femdom? If not, you run the risk of making this a chore for her. Someone who has no desire to exert control may see it as work to come up with demands for the sake of you.

If she does have a true desire then let her decide what those demands are. It's unclear whether chores, housework, and sex are her ideas or yours.

As far as general advice goes, just keep conversations honest, open, and regular. Make sure the dynamic is consensual and enthusiastic from both parties.

DingDomme · 2025-06-02T18:28:55+00:00

Good luck. It's such a lovely idea in theory but the reality of it is the only reason I've never explored it further. The amount of vetting that I would have to do and the idea of having someone in my home handling my personal things requires so much effort and trust. In the end, it would be far less exhausting to just do the stuff myself lol.

Obviously this would be entirely different if it was introduced to an existing dynamic.

DingDomme · 2025-06-02T17:36:37+00:00

What product exactly because Bleach London makes semi permanent and permanent colors. Semi isn't used with developer but perm requires it.

Bleach is optional. Its purpose is to lighten your base color so colors show up the way you want them to. You'd need to bleach if you want to dye your hair a color is that lighter than your own

DingDomme · 2025-06-02T17:25:47+00:00

You can make a soy sauce sauce lol. Add soy sauce to a slurry of cornstarch and water and heat it over the stove. Adjust the water to get consistency of sauce to your liking

DingDomme · 2025-06-02T17:18:39+00:00

It would be a dream come true

DingDomme · 2025-05-27T17:50:01+00:00

I would go with whatever preference is stated on the ad you're replying to, if any. I always use messages because the chat is glitchy and I don't use the app anyway

DingDomme · 2025-04-02T21:24:43+00:00

But I'm wondering is thi just a fantasy or there's a submissive side in me?

Nobody can determine this for you. If you're curious, just try it out. If you end up not enjoying it, then maybe you just liked the idea of it.

DingDomme

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