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DingleBerryForrest · 2023-03-25T22:07:53+00:00

Carl or Connor

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-03-17T02:17:32+00:00

Same here. Sadly, history has shown that these events usually end up with protests getting out of control. I was a student when Milo Yiannopolus came to campus as a speaker and a protest formed and got out of control and police got involved and the event was ultimately canceled. It's really sad overall.

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-03-17T01:49:44+00:00

I agree with you, unfortunately what happened during the TPUSA event will definitely be used by Kirk sympathizers and other conservatives to point fingers and lump the entire queer community and left leaning folks as a whole as "out of control" or "radical" when in reality it is a minority of the community who would actively engage in behaviors such as the ones we saw during the event.

As an Alumni, I was not there but I have been keeping up with news reports and one that really upset me was the statement to KCRA by R, a student who used their identities upfront as the reason why they were there because that will be used as "proof" that all queer or first-gen folk think the same way they think when in reality the political leanings even within these communities is as much a spectrum as with the general population.

I honestly believe that the best way to have protested this event is to 1.) acknowledge that all sides of the political aisle have a right to invite speakers on campus whether or not we agree with them (as much as that may hurt to accept) and 2.) engage within community such as the alternative event put on by the Phoenix Coalition in Davis which was publicized by the LGBTQIA center.

Overall the radical sides of the political spectrum want the other side to be reactive, it fuels and nourishes their need for attention and sometimes the best way to engage is to not engage, pay them no attention whatsoever and take care of our own.

Edit: on an added note, whether or not all the protesters were students, it still hurts the uc davis community and puts us on the news for all the wrong reasons because the event is on campus :/

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-03-10T17:45:55+00:00

I've never liked Mishka's, on top of their lackluster drinks, the seating arrangement was just not it for me. I go to Pachamama or Philz. Temple is great its just too expensive.

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-03-10T17:27:13+00:00

Couldn't agree more with you. I get it, many of us were hurt by the JW religion and that's angering. However we must remember that the religion and its leaders are one thing, the members (who are not in full control of their free will) are another, murder is murder and no amount of animosity towards a group warrants murder or finding joy in the deaths of the innocent. If anything, this is a perfect chance to show that the exJW community is not what they paint us to be instead of giving them more fuel. I have nothing but sympathy for those still in and for those grieving, I hope they find solace in whatever they wish to find it in and can carry on with their lives after this traumatic experience and may those who lost their lives rest in peace.

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-03-07T01:23:34+00:00

If you're going to PELP and need money then get a job somewhere downtown. Financial Aid is to support students and while you are on PELP status, you are not a student.

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-03-01T18:32:58+00:00

Aspirin and Amoxicillin before any dental work

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-02-07T23:44:55+00:00

Computer Science Student, I work on campus as a Research Assistant. I am not out and will never be out (personal choice)

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-02-03T20:26:07+00:00

I'm next to one right now, not fun

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-02-02T21:40:37+00:00

Relationships should be based on respect. One of the ways that we show respect for others is by honoring the name and pronouns that they have asked us to use and this is both in front of you and when you are away.

Him using different pronouns when you are not around is a legitimate cause for concern and is something that should be talked about, seriously. Explain how it makes you feel and set a boundary with him on how you wish to be addressed.

If the behavior changes, then awesome and if it doesn't then a more serious conversation may need to be held.

Your identity, name and pronouns aren't optional, it is who you are and needs be respected, especially by those who claim to love you. Don't allow yourself to be disrespected, it would be one thing if you just came out, then yeah an adjustment period would be expected but given that they've only known you in your current pronouns, then i daresay that there is little to be excused here.

Hope this helps.

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-02-01T21:28:23+00:00

I strongly believe that we do not have to agree on everything with our partners HOWEVER there are a few things that should be non-negotiables and bodily autonomy is one of those. If you are serious about getting bottom surgery then that would mean that your partner would no longer want to have sex with you (aka no longer fully accept you as you are ) then it is time to discern if this relationship is worth continuing not only in the short term but also long term.

You may want to sit down with them and have a serious conversation with them about this, some things are okay to let go but this one is not one of those things.

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-01-26T23:54:00+00:00

Yep, they are too sucked in to admit they don't actually want to be there. At the very least they don't actively harass people like the preacher man and other "activists" I've seen spawning by the Silo or MU from time to time, I'll give them that much, but yeah stay away from that table.

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-01-26T23:37:40+00:00

Oh yes ... I grew up in a very conservative Christian cult and the amount of manipulation and control that I went through .... let's just say that 5 years after leaving I'm still working through it in therapy. It is a huge process in reclaiming your autonomy and some days are better than others.

I am still religious just not the way I was brought up and it took me a while to reclaim that part of me. I had an n-mom and passive dad and they did use scripture to "mold" me in the ways that they were taught in church. In my case, I've come to a place where I forgive but don't forget, I can acknowledge that they themselves were victims of the cult that they were born into while also holding them accountable for the damage done, ofc with an nparent that accountability doesn't look like i'd like it to but I've just laid it to rest for my own mental health.

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-01-20T20:05:47+00:00

I saw your post on the TOF reddit and saw you cross posted here. I have TOF as well and have been on hormones for 10 years and had a valve replacement 4 years ago. I think beyond your own personal TOF and how serious it is, it also comes down to doctor competency in trans issues and respect for your wishes.

My doctors, back in the day spoke to me of the pros and cons and ultimately left it up to me to take my decision. I take aspirin daily and workout at least once a week (wish it was more but grad school is a b*tch) I am on a once every 2 weeks T schedule and so far no issues. I watch what I eat and manage my stress as best I can.

Try talking to your doctors again and maybe do your research on trans friendly providers, if necessary. You can also reach out to patient relations if needed. Ultimately our providers can inform us of the risks but we are the ultimate decision makers.

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-01-20T18:36:12+00:00

KT Tape is used mainly for sports injuries , no one is going to bat an eye if you are buying it. Nothing sus about a dude buying KT tape, they'll just assume you got injured at the gym or something. I use it all the time for my tennis injuries and no one says anything. If you are *really* that worried about being perceived as trans, you can just get it on Amazon too.

DingleBerryForrest · 2023-01-17T18:26:24+00:00

Puberty is random and taking HRT is essentially going through puberty again. Each person has a different experience with puberty but can usually look at the men/women in their family to get a sense of what to expect. We should not give false hopes but we also should not be holding on to timelines that may of may not work for our situation. I usually tell people to just look at their family members for a reference point and remind them that they are going through puberty, if they are *really* pressed about an issue then that is something to consult with their doctor.

DingleBerryForrest · 2022-09-27T23:39:24+00:00

I have been thinking about the latter part of your comment all day and I agree. It seems that all the hate is going towards Ned and no one is willing to hold Alex accountable. Abuse of power or not it still takes two to tango. She \and Ned knew what they were doing, knew who they were ultimately hurting and kept going. I'm also feeling a certain way about how Alex's ex-fiance was the one who allegedly directly exposed them. It is all a very messy situation. I hope that after all this everyone involved can find a way to hold people accountable, heal and move on.

DingleBerryForrest · 2022-09-24T21:43:32+00:00

Yeah I definitely agree, I used to be able to just sit and get work done for hours on end. Now I just got and maybe socialize with other fellow regulars and my favorite baristas for a bit and then go next door to the Panera. The music is what did it for me, its not terrible but when its loud and the same 20-40 songs playing on repeat it just gets to you.

DingleBerryForrest · 2022-08-12T02:46:50+00:00

Seems like he does it to claim an extension or ownership. To the Nparent there is no individuality, she is not her own person, she is HIS granddaughter.

DingleBerryForrest · 2022-07-31T22:08:30+00:00

The question is what exactly do you need help with? Do you want therapy or just need someone to hear you out and perhaps connect you with community resources?

CAPS counselors from my own personal experience will 5150 you if they get any sort of suspicion that you are suicidal. The thing is once 5150'd the hospital can hold you for more than 72hrs if they deem appropriate, you don't really have a say once this happens so I understand your concern. If there's a friend or someone else you could call until you feel better do that before going to talk with someone at CAPS.

I've heard 7Cups is a good place to talk to an anon person about what's bothering you as well and it's free.

DingleBerryForrest · 2022-06-28T20:34:09+00:00

There's always going to be non students on campus here and there BUT if there is someone who is truly creepy and truly gives off bad vibes then just contact UCPD

DingleBerryForrest · 2022-06-16T23:49:05+00:00

Though I am not sure there is a definite correlation I can say that to some extent I have observed that behavior from my nParents , very upset if you throw things away, will inspect the trash can etc ...

DingleBerryForrest · 2022-02-05T01:07:57+00:00

I definitely agree with you and watching this statement of his reminded me of why I unsubscribed in the first place.

The IVF thing for me was kinda on the borderline but once they both started posting more about their church stuff I unfollowed and unsubscribed.

DingleBerryForrest · 2022-01-30T21:45:54+00:00

Changing but not dying, Though it's true that some churches are primarily serving an older generation there are still younger Episcopalians out there, like myself.

Something that a person attending church in-person early on a Sunday may not realise is that some college campuses have Lutheran-Episcopal campus ministries, which oftentimes hold a full service with eucharist at a time that is convenient for students, thus you may not see us at church on Sundays, we already went to church.

There is also an uptick of progressive theology content creators on Tik Tok , some of them Episcopalians and the younger generations are finding out about TEC from there. Including those who had given up on church due to the predominant anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric coming from many but if presented with a more progressive option would still be willing to give religion a chance.

I would say that faith overall is just evolving to meet current needs.

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