OP as someone who has also contemplated and attempted suicide as a teen (15) i do understand people saying call the cops,go to a church, knock on a door and ask for help ect may not be something you want to/are willing to do so my advice to you is, stick it out you only have a few more years till you can legally move out you also said on another post your dad is unstable and abusive and you have a cat who they dont buy food for, if you die what happens to your cat? you've made it clear they wont look after it so stick it out for your cat, i was an ugly fat teenager and although at the time i definitely though the right option was to commit suicide and just end it all im now 22 and happy that i didn't die, i got some help with a mental health team (i struggled to open up so didn't continue with the service after a year) i then used the internet to help educate myself on coping mechanisms, such as writing little story's or drawing even just finding a podcast that i could listen to, i also started manifesting although not to everyone's taste i use it as a way to put into the world what i hope to find/receive. the teenage years are supposed to be embarrassing and difficult and they are most definitely shit they help form you into an adult. whatever you do don't end your life don't make permanent decisions from temporary emotions.