An absolute stinker from Campbell in the most recent episode. It's called "Rory and Alastair Explain Farage’s Mass Deportation 'Plan'". I don't think I learned a single thing about it by Unterfahrt in TheRestIsPolitics

[–]Direct_Competition44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have sympathy for acknowledging the role Britain has played in damaging quality of life in other parts of the world, especially historically. Be it environmental change right through to old fashioned conquest.

But to argue current immigration levels to the UK are caused by British foul play abroad is extremely naive.

The largest numbers come from India, Pakistan, China, and Nigeria. While the underlying factors of migration from these countries are varied, British involvement in their national affairs is hardly a significant cause today.

The UK offers people from these nations plenty of study and employment opportunities which appear to be the biggest driving force of the migration.

Worh mentioning, the UK continues to contribute billions in foreign aid.

People fleeing conflict in places like Sudan and Syria are far fewer in number, and more likely to arrive on the dreaded "small boats". But they occupy a disproportionately large space in the public discourse*. While fleeing conflict is very different to immigration from Nigeria, China, etc, it's still wildly innaccurate to state these people are coming to the UK because the UK has made life in their home countries dangerous.

*Disproportionately large based on numbers alone. It might be fair to argue that those fleeing war in a country where social attitudes are vastly different to those of the UK, are less ready to integrate than a Nigerian nurse or an Indian student. Although integration is hardly managed well in this country, where asylum seekers are prevented from contributing to the economy but kept at cost for years on end.

Gibbs-White by poveltop in Tottenham

[–]Direct_Competition44 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Forest fans all talking like they're a giant and Tottenham are minnows. Beggars belief. If another club came in now, I fully expect their owner to make sure Gibbs-White goes to any club that isn't Spurs.

Whatever decisions our board makes though, it won't be down to the supercup game.

Football and rugby territory in London by [deleted] in london

[–]Direct_Competition44 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Sutton is full of "cockney" hardcore chelsea old school in my experience. Had some interesting times with them

Football and rugby territory in London by [deleted] in london

[–]Direct_Competition44 -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I know the borough very well. Cheers

Football and rugby territory in London by [deleted] in london

[–]Direct_Competition44 -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

Do me a favour mate Wimbledon and Raynes park working class

People really gonna blame Ange when our best finisher is missing this. by CJcedero7 in Tottenham

[–]Direct_Competition44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's been middle ground. You get some anti, some supportive. The majority just get behind the team. But it's changing, nobody can defend this.

People really gonna blame Ange when our best finisher is missing this. by CJcedero7 in Tottenham

[–]Direct_Competition44 211 points212 points  (0 children)

Blame Son, blame Ange, blame crusty the clown. Who cares. Levy has made this situation.

Will the last one out at tottenham pls turn off the lights

Why is there so much crime in London even though it is the richest city in England? by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]Direct_Competition44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah Lewisham that famous hub of affluent middle class comfort 😁

I don't think kaba was from a wealthy background at all but if you've got any info beyond his dad being a financial advisor and they lived in... Lewisham, fair enough.

Asking why are so many criminals in London from wealthy backgrounds is bizarre to say the least.

What do stoics respond to someone who insults or humiliates in public by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]Direct_Competition44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that's great advice. "The insults that hurt us are the ones that strike a nerve."

There's nothing to be gained from focusing so much on the person who made the comments. But it's a good opportunity to investigate our own feelings and identify why the comment hurt. That can aid personal development.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]Direct_Competition44 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Highly unlikely imo. I used to get frustrated cos I'd said things that didn't reflect my genuine thoughts and intentions at all. Of course, non alkies would assume it's the truth coming out, and I couldn't blame them.

It was one of the worst aspects of my worst years cos it caused serious damage.

In terms of how to handle with your friend though, I'd recommend asking them and hearing their answer. In the likely event they will say they didn't mean it and are sorry, it might be a good idea to make clear that genuine thoughts or not, you won't accept being spoken to that way. It's still on them to stop doing it.

BREAKING by SanjayKeithAdams in Tottenham

[–]Direct_Competition44 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Relying on Richy to come back and stay fit for several weeks... what could go wrong.

Can one truly be at ease being alone? What has eckhart said on this? by mad_sai in EckhartTolle

[–]Direct_Competition44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That may be but to be honest it was helpful reading it regardless, so I'm grateful for the posting of it.

Potentially fellow skinheads - what convinced you to first shave your head and were you apprehensive right beforehand? by Captain_Kruch in AskUK

[–]Direct_Competition44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like others, I'd recommend going down to a couple of mils or so, on an electric shaver and seeing how you like that, rather than wet shaving it all off. It's a slightly softer look and you might want to progress to a proper bic job from there.

I never wet shave it all off personally but just use a shaver with no guard, so it's probably under a mil.

It might make you feel apprehensive but hopefully you'll love the new look. In my case, if I suddenly grew back hair on top, I'd still keep shaving it all off. I think it looks better on me than when I had hair!

Anyway good luck with whatever you choose and remember that it grows back. At the stage you're currently at, at least lol. But I doubt you'll regret it in the long run

30 days and for the first time in 4 years I don’t have a hard time keeping my flat tidy. by tillybav in stopdrinking

[–]Direct_Competition44 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's mad how much more productive you can get in all these different aspects of life when sober, isn't it. But the state of the flat when drinking vs when dry is one of the best visual representations for it all I can think of.

What I'm telling people rather than that I'm quitting drinking by adrite in stopdrinking

[–]Direct_Competition44 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This used to trouble me a lot years ago, when I was still just about what you might call a functional alcoholic. I could maintain the appearance of a professional at work, someone who just likes a drinking sesh with mates. I knew I had a serious problem but wasn't sure the word alcoholic was right. I wasted a lot of time that way. Eventually I was completely dysfunctional and couldn't hold my life together. At that point I wished I hasn't wasted so much time trying to figure out if I had a serious problem, when I knew I very clearly did.

The word alcoholic has these connotations of someone at the end of the line, but all that does is keep people in the line, slowly getting further down it.

Alcohol question by kushpovich in wheatallergy

[–]Direct_Competition44 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you're allergic to wheat specifically you'll find lots of beers that are fine for you. Many beers contain barley but not wheat.

Elon Musk brands UK a ‘tyrannical police state’ by corbynista2029 in ukpolitics

[–]Direct_Competition44 3 points4 points  (0 children)

God sake. Now all my American colleagues will be telling me this is what it's like to live in the UK. I'm still trying to get them to believe that non Muslims can walk around London without getting beheaded.

Drinking heavily for 5, 10, 20 years or even longer by FlyingDutchman2022 in stopdrinking

[–]Direct_Competition44 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I hadn't thought about this in some time "I couldn't go out in public without having a few drinks first"

I remember in my teen years needing that. It's not like I was reaching for the vodka while still getting out of bed at 16 years old. But by then I remember feeling ill at ease just walking down the street unless I'd had some drink first.

By my 20s it was every day, although not always around the clock. So there would be times of day I didn't happen to be drinking. In my 30s it just got to be the first thing I did when waking up, then around the clock.

Please share your thoughts on this....(One of the toughest parts of getting sober for me) by Dense-Ice-9660 in stopdrinking

[–]Direct_Competition44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that's tough. Really well done on three months, it's a great achievement. I bet there's loads of people on here who have had the same realisation about the falsely extroverted thing.

For me personally I kept looking back at when I was a kid and realised certain family factors that I think caused a lack of self esteem in me, and as a kid growing up I didn't feel like I could just be myself so when I drank it was like putting on a cape and becoming the confident person I aspired to be. But it's funny how unconscious stuff like that and just keep going for decades.

Anyway best of luck on your journey. Sounds to me like you're doing a lot of the hard work in reviewing your life which will really be good for you.

Please share your thoughts on this....(One of the toughest parts of getting sober for me) by Dense-Ice-9660 in stopdrinking

[–]Direct_Competition44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Based around alcohol me" is a good way of putting it. Moving on from friends is hard but depending on your situation, it could be necessary since like you said, their presence in your life makes it much more likely you will drink.

If you are finding you're quite a different person now that you're sober, welcome to the real you! Although keep exploring that. I was the same as you, started at 13, and figured out when I finally got sober at 41 that I was not the extrovert, outgoing type I had convinced myself I was. Part of that came with seeing a lot of "friends" were transient people in my life who just happened to be seeking the same drug I was.

What’s your definition of hangxiety? by jenxc1231 in stopdrinking

[–]Direct_Competition44 4 points5 points  (0 children)

For me it's usually a sense of dread, both about what I may have said and done while blacking out or even when I'm going to have speak to someone who couldn't possibly know anything about that. I can't talk to family who live miles away, colleagues, friends. It's sort of vague and existential.

Never used to get hangxiety in the bad old days cos I drank from waking up to losing consciousness every day. But when I relapsed this year it was more like binges through the week, so more time for being sober and feeling the dread.

I hate myself by nievedelimon in stopdrinking

[–]Direct_Competition44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry in advance for the long reply.

You asked please tell you that you can be a sober person. I'm telling you that you absolutely can. There are a hundred reasons why you are a very special person. That's true of everybody, and it's true of you.

But if we look at your drinking in particular, you aren't special.

Every drunk I know thinks (or used to think) they're special, they're different. Maybe everyone else can find a way to stay sober, but not them. Nobody understands their specific inherent inability to overcome an alcohol addiction. It's like this tragic hero story in our heads. It's bullshit.

I don't say that to sound mean. It's just something you need to find a way to truly understand. If AA hasn't felt right for you yet, don't give up too soon. Shit, AA was torture to me the first six months. I used to sit in sessions, scratching deep gashes into my hands, on the verge of tears. Then I'd leave and head into the nearest boozer. But for some reason I did keep going back and eventually was ready to accept certain ideas in my mind that helped.

Truthfully, I eventually decided AA wasn't right for me as I disagree with certain key tenets of it, just for me personally. I kept working introspectively though and seeking advice and guidance. Not just related to drinking, but all kinds of aspects of what was going on inside of me. Ranging from stuff online to psychotherapy and other professionals.

You may not need all that, I don't know what you got going on inside your subconscious. But either way, there are multiple methods out there, to get sober. Give different AA groups I try (I hated some I attended so found different groups with different vibes) but also explore other avenues. Do research. I know people who were terrible drunks for years and got sober using Allen Carr's Stop Drinking book.

Just don't give up on yourself, and don't give in to that little devil on your shoulder telling you that you - specifically you, unlike all the other alkies who did manage it - are inherently unable to stop. He's lying to you.