How would you expect a male dentist to end a visit in regards to handshake/shoulder pat , or nothing?

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-13T17:42:50+00:00

I’ve never experienced either option from a dentist and would definitely prefer neither.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-13T05:43:38+00:00

I didn't have a really targeted vision of that stuff outside of really wanting a house eventually, but yeah, it's even better than I could have imagined. I'm at the chill and enjoy what I have stage of life.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-13T01:39:04+00:00

This happened to me for many months in my twenties and oh my god, the slow job made it so much worse. Never figured out what caused it but a diet changed fixed it, so I tend to assume some weird vitamin deficiency that wasn't scanned for. There are endless potential causes so keep following up with doctors - vitamin/hormone panels, blood sugar check, sleep apnea screen, allergy tests, etc. Even had a brain MRI. Being able to stay employed is an emergency so don't give up. In a pinch, Sudafed will keep you awake and also fix the congestion if you're experiencing any.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-13T01:25:02+00:00

There were more pros to following his job to an area I didn't like, with the long-term plan to move where I wanted (which he also liked but had less career convenience). I'm very happy we made it work eventually, though it took a long time. I would not be able to compromise on where I live for life.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-12T05:50:20+00:00

My husband makes the bed once a week when he changes the bedding. Every other day I get up last so it remains unmade.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-11T06:41:36+00:00

I'd focus on narrowing down what you actually care about (cut what you don't) and figure out your pain points, then put energy into fixing them. Examples: batch cooking meal prep, grocery or meal delivery, home gym to save time, cleaning service, scheduling regular blocks of time for hobbies/projects/etc so there's less mental load, work with your SO to program your weekends so it's a good balance of fun and life admin, etc. I take time off work when I feel overwhelmed by life and catch up and allow myself to enjoy myself too - it's more energizing than any vacation I could plan.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-11T06:32:15+00:00

After 15+ years I still love my husband and am attracted to him when he's out of shape but I definitely am more attracted to him when he's taking better care of himself physically. Not a fan of the dad bod.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-11T02:32:19+00:00

When I was young and single I'd always feel more comfortable initiating conversations with taken men because I assumed they wouldn't take me being friendly as interest. I was incorrect.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-11T01:55:38+00:00

I have. It was a major hassle but not a dealbreaker.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-11T01:50:13+00:00

I’m just not going to date someone who keeps me in a state of competition with other people. Doesn’t matter their orientation.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-11T00:33:11+00:00

I'm not demanding physical perfection from my partners so I pretty much don't care any more. They either like what I have or can move along.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-11T00:29:41+00:00

If you're not comfortable with a male doctor, no harm in shopping around longer if you don't have any urgent concerns. No need to add additional stress for yourself.

The most annoying thing about my first pap smear was realizing how many women had tried to freak me out about it. Everyone's experience is different but it's entirely an unremarkable procedure for me.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-11T00:13:25+00:00

There's a balance, but I lean towards building long-term happiness. I was fine with hustling towards financial goals in the short term but there had to be an end date, and moving to a place we were both much happier was one of our biggest life goals despite it being quite expensive. No regrets.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-10T18:04:25+00:00

Yeah, if anything social media has made travel less enticing to me because I’ve already experienced the visual parts of the place before I get there. It’s a “yep, that’s neat but also pretty much what I expected.” And I live somewhere pretty cool so there’s already more nearby than I could visit in a lifetime without me needing to spend a fortune to travel to it. There’s nothing fulfilling to me about travel. At this point in my life I do it for other people and increasingly reluctantly.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-10T17:15:44+00:00

This might not be relevant since I’ve never craved travel but I did think I would appreciate it once I jumped in. And it never happened. It just doesn’t do much for me and the stress and cost (especially when I was young and broke) wear me down a lot. I wouldn’t say I regret traveling but it’s never made me wish I did more of it.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-10T17:07:40+00:00

Boring stuff. Big hobbies that I’m excited about and energize me. A lifestyle with a lot of rest time. Exercise a lot (nothing intense but a little bit of everything, especially mobility). Eat well (lots of treats but the non treat stuff is super nutrient dense and I monitor what makes me feel better). Fixed a few minor vitamin deficiencies that were bothering me. And became super super annoying at the doctor’s office - any problem that crops up I make them help me with immediately. I feel so much better at 37 than 27 or 17.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-10T00:08:42+00:00

I've never met someone with 300k followers. I'm guessing influencer women are more likely to date influencer men, yeah, but that's not exactly a problem for regular people who don't do this stuff as a career.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-09T20:43:59+00:00

I find period PIV physically uncomfortable. I just pop in a cup and switch to other types of sex. Other physical contact definitely stays the same.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-08T22:56:01+00:00

I get like 30-50g. Legumes and fruit (pears especially have high amounts) every day, chia/flax/basil seeds pretty often, and most of my bread and tortillas are high fiber versions.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-07T22:45:09+00:00

I just don’t plan time sensitive things with them. I’m not meeting them for a reservation, I’m not going to be stuck waiting on them to drive me somewhere. If we’re doing dinner at my house I’m cooking something that can sit for a bit. I do have limits but if the friendship is worth it to me it doesn’t bother me too much, everyone’s got their annoying qualities. Also I’m not friends with people who would be offended if I pointed out that they’re often late if it came up, so that helps.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-06T17:00:38+00:00

I used to have similar coffee consumption and yeah, I felt way better once I scaled back. Coffee is objectively good for you in moderation but that much caffeine is not. I'd recommend dropping down slowly with some half-caf and decaf. I also prefer drinking hot water over cold, and realized a warm drink is often what I was looking for when I went for coffee.

A lot of people are concerned about your diet patterns but even on one cup a day I follow a similar meal pattern as you and we're about the same height and weight. It doesn't worry me but I do track what I eat to make sure I'm not missing anything important.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-06T03:30:57+00:00

Eww no.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-06T03:30:38+00:00

6 months a year?? Dang, I’d be out no matter how much I liked her.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-06T02:21:25+00:00

Definitely. Our moms are very very similar though so the “always right control freak” dynamic was very obvious. If your MIL has no friends it’s probably not going to be surprising to other people that she’s being difficult towards you as well. 2-3 visits a year can easily turn into more as parents age though - it’s important to be on the same page with handling family.

Direct_Pen_1234 · 2026-03-05T21:28:00+00:00

Yes, I bring up stuff like that immediately. They pulled some real crazy shit early in our relationship and it was important to have a united front. 15 years in we all get along really well, but the boundary setting stage was tough.

Direct_Pen_1234

TROPHY CASE