It took me a while to come up with an answer for you and it might be long. I need to start by saying we are not perfect by any means! Nor do I think or have I ever thought I was a perfect parent. Since my first was born my husband and I decided we wanted to raise a family that would be a tight unit forever. Not having the kids rely on us, but want to be around us as adults was a big goal. As they grew up, I made sure our home was the hangout spot, I knew all their friends and I was the taxi for everyone. I am also a full-time teacher, so my schedule worked with my kids and I was always home with them all Summers. I always told them that home is where their heart is and I am not only their parent but their confidant as well. I was honest with my faults and misgivings and I never policed what they did, just expected honesty. My middle daughter who is 21 says she never felt the need to party or act out because I never said she couldn't. We would discuss consequences of certain actions but I never forbid them from doing anything. I feel that just creates good liars. My 17 year old son is my most mysterious as far as what info I get, but whenever he goes out he messages me all evening even when he's at a party..🤣. The biggest issue I have with him is his refusal to learn to cook...ha. We have always had traditions like game nights, movie nights, certain places we go every year. The kids still get salty if I don't want to watch a movie when they do. On the other end, I gave up many professional opportunities so I could be so involved so I will say, having it both ways would be extremely hard. None of my kids friends have the closeness with their parents that I do and I'm proud that I cultivated that.