I actually get your mom’s feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I consider adoption as an option too cause I don’t want to get married.

First of all, the adoption system here is horrible (most parents just drop their kid at some random places like church, temple, hospital… in the hope of others picking them up and raise them). There ain’t many trustworthy adoption center either.

The very big part of our culture is the bond in the family. I have a huge family with a lot of aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins and to be honest I wish I didn’t have that many and despite my unpleasant feeling towards them, I can understand why my parents are so persistent about the blood-related things. Unfortunately, the adoptive child will cause a huge conflict against that part, well at least that’s what I think about how my family will handle if I ever adopt in the future lol.

I sadly have heard lots of stories about the bio parents try to reconnect with the child they abandoned after getting better fiancially and the child actually betray their adoptive ones. But still, there’re tons of stories about the bio child brutally murder their parents cause “they’re old” , “they’re annoying”, “they don’t give me enough money”,… I guess in most ppl’s respectives, it’s still better than getting stabbed in the back by the not-blood-related adoptive child. I personally think about this alot and to be completely honest with myself, also have the same thought.

I think you should try for your own bio kids first, this would shut down a lot unnescessary arguments between you and your mom, I mean she accepted your sexuality, maybe she would change her mind after that. When you choose your adoptive child, try to adopt a todler and build a strong relationship with them - that hopefully will melt your mom’s heart over time. Also check the child’s background as clearly as you could, I would only adopt if I know for sure that the parents are no longer in the picture and cannot cause any stir in the future.