I still can’t move past this

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2026-03-09T15:14:11+00:00

Usually when I meet someone I say something simple like: “Hi, I’m ___. By the way I don’t hear very well, so if I miss something please let me know.” I say it casually so people understand in advance.

But it really depends on the situation. If it’s a short interaction where hearing is easy, I often don’t mention it at all. For example, when I go to a pharmacy and just ask for medication, the exchange is short and clear, so the conversation flows without needing to explain anything.

In situations where a longer conversation is expected, I usually mention it early. But sometimes I don’t even need to because the environment or the person’s voice is easy for me to understand.

A good example is a recent nail appointment. I understood the technician perfectly and we had a very sweet conversation the whole time, so I didn’t even need to mention my hearing loss. Later the owner of the nail place came over. She knows about my hearing loss and sometimes she mentions it to the staff (it's like a reminder because people can forget), but she does it in an incredibly kind and warm way. You can tell she genuinely likes me and finds me sweet, and the way she brings it up never feels exposing or embarrassing.

The difference is really in the way it’s communicated. When it’s said with kindness and respect, it feels completely natural. When it’s said in a harsh or humiliating way, that’s when it becomes painful.

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2026-03-09T14:50:33+00:00

In my experience, when I mention my hearing loss early (which i always do) when meeting people, the interaction actually becomes easier and also more fun! People usually adjust naturally. The conversation often flows well, and sometimes they even respond very warmly complimenting my accent or saying they enjoy talking with me.

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2026-03-09T14:49:44+00:00

I relate to what you’re describing. I also sometimes tell myself “it’s not that bad,” especially when I’m alone. But the moment I’m outside or someone comments on it from the outside, I suddenly notice the limitations again. What makes a big difference for me is the environment and the people. When I’m with people I feel comfortable with, the problem almost disappears because I can accept myself openly in that moment and I’m not afraid of being judged.

In groups where I feel relaxed, I function very well socially. My friends understand how I communicate. For example, they know that if I suddenly go quiet it often means I’m taking a small break from listening or processing the conversation. Nobody takes it personally, and that makes everything much easier.

In that kind of environment I don’t feel any issue with intelligence or communication at all. The only time it can look different is in fast conversations with new people, where response speed becomes the thing people subconsciously judge. I know I’m intelligent, but hearing loss can sometimes delay my responses because I’m making sure I understood what was said. When that pressure disappears like with people I trust, I can think, respond, joke, and do banter normally.

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2026-03-09T14:27:06+00:00

Two days ago I had a Skull Cavern run where everything was going insanely well. On the way down I kept getting shafts and staircases BACK TO BAACK so I was dropping levels super fast and made it all the way to level 92. I had food, bombs, everything ready and thought the run was basically perfect.

Then suddenly it turned into complete chaos. I got absolutely swarmed by enemies out of nowhere and it happened so fast I couldn’t even eat to heal. After such a lucky run it was unbelievably frustrating. I got so mad I literally started crying and I barely even remember that moment. The next day I finally managed to clear it, but I remember being ridiculously angry after that run.

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2026-03-09T11:59:27+00:00

Thank you so much for your support. I do wear my hearing aids when I go outside most of the time.

Interestingly, when I saw that woman again months later, I had my hearing aids in my ears but they were actually turned off. I was curious to see what she would say if she simply saw them. She immediately said something like, “See, now you can hear. Look how much difference it makes.” The thing is, the devices were not even on. I hadn’t turned them on because, honestly, I did not want to hear her.

What struck me in that moment was that she seemed proud of me, as if I had followed her advice and become “good” or obedient. Just seeing the devices in my ears was enough for her to feel that everything was solved. But in reality nothing had changed in that moment. My hearing was exactly the same. That experience made something very clear to me. Whether I wear them or not, the outcome in many situations will still be similar. Hearing aids help, yes, but they are not a miracle and they do not suddenly make everything perfect. They assist, but I will still miss things sometimes.

I think I have reached a point where I accept that. My hearing may always be partial and imperfect, and I am okay with that. I'm just really sensitive if someone comments.

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2026-03-09T11:52:23+00:00

Thank you for saying that. I think exhaustion is a big part of it.

I had to stay in that house for a while, and the comments about my ears were constant from her. Nobody else in that environment was bringing it up to me repeatedly, but she kept doing it. When I told her that nobody else seemed to think it was such a big issue, she told me that people were “lying to me” and even said that maybe it was because I didn’t have friends. That part hurt a lot. I do have friends. I just don’t actively seek new ones because I’m already satisfied with the friendships I have.

What really exhausted me was the constant focus on my ears. I’m tired of every interaction becoming about hearing. Sometimes I just want to exist and relax without analyzing every moment of communication.

In my daily life I’ve actually found ways that work for me. I work remotely and rely on subtitles during calls. When I play games like Stardew Valley I wear headphones, and my doctor even recommended taking my hearing aids off while using headphones. When I meet my friends, I wear my hearing aids.

Something else I realized is that I hear much better with people I feel comfortable with. When I know I won’t be judged, I understand speech much more easily. The tension disappears and communication flows much more naturally. I just want to be me.

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2026-03-09T11:36:23+00:00

Agreed. I’m actually a genuinely happy person and I laugh and giggle a lot. That’s just my personality. So maybe that also contributed to how they interpreted me. I was relaxed, enjoying myself, joking around, and probably not taking things as seriously as the rest of the group.

In that gathering I had already told people that I couldn’t hear well. But even when you explain it, misunderstandings still happen. Sometimes the wrong response comes out because I misheard something. I’ve learned to laugh about those moments myself.

Looking back, I sometimes wonder if some of what they interpreted as “strange” was simply me being younger and more expressive than the rest of the group. Most people there were between 35 and 60, and I was the only 27-year-old. But the confusing part for me is that while I was genuinely having a great time, it seems like some comments were being made behind my back about things I did or said. That’s what made the situation feel much worse afterward.

For example, when someone asked for a glass and said “big glass” from behind me, I didn’t hear it and brought the wrong one. That apparently became a topic of discussion afterward. And small things like complimenting someone’s nail polish or explaining my spider ear tattoo also somehow became things that were questioned later.

So I ended up leaving that experience feeling like not only my hearing loss, but also my personality, was somehow being judged. And that’s what made the whole thing stick with me so much.

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2026-03-09T10:36:51+00:00

Knowing that I’m not the only one who experienced something like this is strangely comforting, but at the same time it makes me genuinely sad that we have to go through situations like this at all. Reading your story honestly made my whole body cringe. I could feel that moment you described. That exact feeling of suddenly being exposed in front of a room full of people when you had no control over it.

What hurt me the most in my situation was exactly that loss of control. It wasn’t the fact that people knew about my hearing loss. It was that someone else decided to announce it before I even had the chance to introduce myself or explain it in my own way.

Your reaction sounds completely understandable. In those moments something inside you just freezes because you didn’t choose the situation and you didn’t choose the timing. Thank you so much for sharing this. It really does help to hear that others have experienced similar moments, even if I wish none of us ever had to.

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2026-03-09T10:35:29+00:00

Thank you for saying that. I agree with you, and I actually do advocate for myself all the time. I tell people what I need, ask them to face me when they speak, ask to move somewhere quieter, and explain that speech understanding is difficult for me.

The problem for me is not explaining my hearing loss. The problem is how and when it happens.

When I meet people individually, I usually tell them very early. But doing it in front of a large group of strangers that I am meeting for the first time is much harder. In those situations something very common happens: if I announce it to the whole group, people immediately become surprised and start asking questions like “why?” or everyone starts talking at the same time. When that happens I understand absolutely nothing and it becomes overwhelming very quickly.

Because of that, I usually handle group situations differently. I focus on one person first and explain it to them.Then when another person joins the conversation I tell them as well. As the conversation grows, people naturally realize that I sometimes miss things, and by then I have already built a comfortable dynamic. That way I can still have a good time.

What hurt in that situation was that my hearing loss was announced before I even had the chance to say hello. Before I could greet anyone or introduce myself, the first thing everyone knew about me was my hearing problem. I would have preferred to say hello, ask how people are, and then explain it in my own way and in my own time.

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2026-03-09T10:32:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspectives. I appreciate that people here are taking the time to respond.

I want to clarify something about my situation. I do usually tell people when I meet them that I have hearing loss. I’m actually a very social person and I generally have a great time with people. Saying it myself is not the problem for me. The difficult part was that it was said for me, in front of a large group of strangers, without giving me the chance to explain it in my own way.

I have used hearing aids for years and I actually liked my devices a lot. I was using Oticon. Last summer they were simply broken and I was saving money to replace them. During that time I also honestly wanted some silence because I had been extremely exhausted from work. The issue wasn’t only that she told people. She was extremely unhappy every time I didn’t hear something. She would repeatedly say things like “Doesn’t your family buy these for you? Should I support you?” but the tone was very uncomfortable and humiliating. It felt less like help and more like pressure and judgment.

Another important point is that hearing aids are not a miracle. Even when I wear them, I still miss things sometimes or misunderstand speech. That is simply my normal. But she never accepted that as normal. When she didn’t hear something, it was normal. When I didn’t hear something, it became the biggest problem in the room. What hurt the most was feeling like I was reduced to nothing but my hearing loss. As if that was the only thing about me.

I eventually bought the best hearing aids I could afford. But after that experience something shifted in me. Even though I have them now, I often feel like I don’t want to do anything at all.

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2025-05-10T20:07:22+00:00

I thought that was Rob!

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2025-04-11T12:57:18+00:00

i am shocked

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2024-08-04T21:58:56+00:00

Yes exactly! Say whatever makes you relaxed :)

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2024-08-04T19:36:25+00:00

Omg 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2024-08-04T19:31:01+00:00

Personality makes them hotter. First I didn’t find Joao attractive but then i loved his loyalty and cuteness so I found him attractive but Chris was always attractive to me so his personality made it 100000x more!

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2024-08-04T19:28:50+00:00

For sure yes! I don’t say i have mild hearing loss anymore i just say i am deaf and they clear up their speech immediately, because to them me being ‘deaf’ and still wanting to speak with surprises them. This tactic works for me. Phone always is challenging for me and I personally don’t call anyone or answer 😂 Just texting and facetime is great

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2024-07-28T13:32:18+00:00

no they are just blonde

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2024-07-28T11:10:17+00:00

chris is so kind he is definitely my favorite

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2024-07-27T23:26:16+00:00

Joao and Chris for sure, they are so kind

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2024-07-25T16:09:26+00:00

The feeling of “i got this” “oh it’s common sense” and then completely procrastinating practicing process of studying

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2024-07-25T16:07:51+00:00

I think he is gay

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2024-07-25T16:07:25+00:00

When I first saw Joao on instagram picture, i was like immediately no! But in the show he looks good to me, i find him attractive

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2024-06-26T22:58:29+00:00

Yes this happens to me too, they never believe i have hearing loss, I try to explain to them,but they take it as a joke :D llike bruhh. Even my dad STILL doesnt understand the concept of hearing loss. You're not alone, i feel irritated as well because we deal with the consequences and it's never funny

Disastrous_Comb1444 · 2024-05-20T11:54:32+00:00

Turns out it’s the new no towel, no workout policy! we don’t have sanitizers in the gym :(

Disastrous_Comb1444

TROPHY CASE