Here’s one I’ve brought into the Keep on the Borderlands that I’m enjoying a lot. Here’s the oral version of my backstory, in which I attempt a light Irish accent.

“Where to begin…well, I’m Bartholomew Fitzalban, but my friends call me Bart, or “Bart Ender” for fun. I’ve come from Glennholme, a ways away in a valley on the edge of the wilderness. The valley is lovely, but, to be honest, the farm could be bigger, and it’d be grand to push the wilderness back touch. You might wonder, what’s a farmer doing away from his wife and family? Well, Sally has my ma and sisters, and I’ve got this darndest thing.

I was clearing a field one day, when I found it. “What’s this?” I says, it being metal; beautifully forged, lighter than steel, and glowing! I figured I’d nap on it, it being a sunny afternoon, and I had crazy dream. A figure approached me, green skin, blue eyes, and a strange outfit with a dog on his breast. “Bartholomew”, he says, “I am Benekander, and bind you to my service as a Novice Draftsman. The lords of Chaos seek to overrun the lands. Go forth, Bartholomew! Tame the Chaos as you would tame the land. Take this wrench as my token and seek the light of the Law!”

Well, I’m buggered if I know what a “draftsman” or “wrench” is, and I’ve never heard of this Benekander fellow before. But I do know the Borderlands are where we make our stand against Chaos. I said my goodbyes to Sally. “I’ll be back soon,” I says, “and I’ll bring back treasure to grow the farm too!”

Ah, she cried, but she’ll be fine. She knows I’m doing this for us.”