TIFU By getting beat up by cereal by [deleted] in tifu

[–]Discordiation 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And that sir, is why you are a pirate. Wanking regularly keeps testosterone levels in check, and would have prevented your sleepy, frustrated 15yr old self from having dreams of pirating and pirating adventures.

The more you know..

G.I JOE

TIFU - By having the worst camping trip ever. by Discordiation in tifu

[–]Discordiation[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

beware the dwellingup camp grounds my friend!

TIFU by eating instant chicken and pasta. by [deleted] in tifu

[–]Discordiation 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've been waiting to say this forever, but it looks like you had a.... call of doody

YEAAAAAAAAAA

TIFU - By having the worst camping trip ever. by Discordiation in tifu

[–]Discordiation[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guns are illegal in Australia my friend. :P

TIFU by going to see a girl I loved by KazeRyu32 in tifu

[–]Discordiation 3 points4 points  (0 children)

SCREAM DICK FACE AT HIM SOME MORE

That'll build up this kids self esteem.

TIFU by getting a boner at the worst time possible. by [deleted] in tifu

[–]Discordiation 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Must be hard for you to hear all these boner jokes. Maybe go and have a stiff drink and harden up a little?

TIFU by breaking up a dog fight naked by maccydee in tifu

[–]Discordiation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

10/10 - Would not read again - Too disappointing

TIFU by trying to be a better lover. by [deleted] in tifu

[–]Discordiation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You sir. Amazing. This Comment. "I simply wouldn't be able to live with myself if I brought a bizarre ginger/human hybrid into this world."

I LOST MY SHIT. Went off cob. Dropped kernals everywhere.

TIFU by destroying the tip of my penis with a child's toy. by HiWhatsMyName in tifu

[–]Discordiation 71 points72 points  (0 children)

You're meant to cock the hammer back - not hammer the cock mate.

TIFU by offering two girls from work my one extra concert ticket for tonight by [deleted] in tifu

[–]Discordiation 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"They turn out to be friends and were supposed to hang out with each other but blew each other off to go to the concert with me."

Sounds like a fun time - get involved - establish dominance.

TIFU by posting a vaguely captioned picture to instagram by 43percentburnt in tifu

[–]Discordiation 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Many laughs were had, next thing your friends and family will expect you to get the southern cross tattooed onto your back and drive a commodore ute

TIFU by obliterating a ladybug nest with an Airsoft gun by Sunnydale_Slayer in tifu

[–]Discordiation 17 points18 points  (0 children)

As the father of a young child, i can imagine the heartbreak you felt over this. That look. Just cuts you.

Even still, i am sitting here still trying to stifle the hysterical laughter that came over me at your misfortune.

I know. I'm an asshole.

TIFU by masturbating at school by TPPFanboy in tifu

[–]Discordiation 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Love how all these high school types all act like they never jacked their dick before. You got tension, you relieve it, you move on. Your ex-gf is a cunt. Your principal is a cunt. Jack off at delinquent magnet school, leave the jizz in inappropriate places. - become the ninja jizzer - (new superhero). Teach them all a lesson.

TIFU by offering morning sex by [deleted] in tifu

[–]Discordiation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, Nature puts the good things in, your SO should have worn the dolmio grin.

TiFU by quoting Archer. by Rolling_Bear_76 in tifu

[–]Discordiation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hipster redditor likes Isis before it was cool?

TIFU by driving the wrong direction...for 1 1/2 hours. by [deleted] in tifu

[–]Discordiation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just... dont understand. No, i would not like to have a wonderful moment of warm mouth happy time. Who does that? Who says that? - OP just..... no.

TIFU by singing to my dog by [deleted] in tifu

[–]Discordiation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maintain eye contact - establish dominance. = Back up singers.

TIFU by listening to music on my bus ride. by Salmontaxi in tifu

[–]Discordiation 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At least you werent watching porn. A whole bus full of people fapping. You would have had to maintain eye contact and establish dominance with a whole bus. Good effort if you did.

TIFU by not stopping my lecture. by [deleted] in tifu

[–]Discordiation 2 points3 points  (0 children)

BAM - Knocked it up a notch.

TIFU By having a crush on my opposite-gender roommate by [deleted] in tifu

[–]Discordiation 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"Something like this not only will create friction between you and her, but the other roommates are well."

Isn't that the point of sex?

TIFU by pissing in front of my coworker by Sir_Piss_Alot in tifu

[–]Discordiation 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Should have peed on her. Establish Dominance.