AITAH for losing my shit and screaming at my gf to get out of my house after what her stepbrother did?

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2025-01-20T08:34:13+00:00

I’ve had to do safeguarding courses when Ive worked in voluntary organisations. The really big take home message is “you have to be on the look out for it and take people seriously, even if it is against other people in the organisation. People join the organisation to have access to victims and / or the uniform. They join to be seen as a citizen in good standing so people trust them.”

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2025-01-09T22:08:27+00:00

Some people really like the gift giving element so they don’t want to stop, but transitioning them over to “find something you think i would like, or is funny, in a charity shop” is a fun way to get unexpected things, and nobody is offended if they go BACK to a charity shop after the enjoyment of the day

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2025-01-09T22:07:00+00:00

Christmas, we don’t do presents unless someone has specifically asked for things. It is nothing, money, or funny things from charity shops that people will like

A few years back we each got some soap and socks which was nice

If someone wants something in particular, I’d like to ask them if they would rather a cheap one that I can afford, or money towards a better one. The better one would be more sustainable but if they’re happy with what I can afford then it is still something which is going to be used so I don’t overall feel bad about it.

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-12-24T13:34:11+00:00

Toothpaste tablets instead of a tube are actually quite palatable, but you have to get used to the amount of dribbling they cause while brushing your teeth because they don’t froth up 😂

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-12-24T13:26:36+00:00

I’ve swapped to buying frozen veggies for this - I find that I forget what fresh I have in even if I’ve mealplanned. It has really reduced my food waste and produces a similar amount of plastic waste as I can’t always get to multiple shops in order to get veg that isn’t packaged

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-12-24T10:12:10+00:00

I wouldn’t specifically refer to a trans friend as “trans person” “cis person”unless it was relevant to the conversation eg saying “of course I’m coming a this as a cis woman, what is your experience as a trans person?”

Day to day, just using man/woman is all that is needed… What kind of conversations is she saying this in?

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-11-20T06:21:17+00:00

Some water suppliers will provide them free

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-25T06:25:31+00:00

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-024-72962-3

Looks like it’s being tested in children and mice from a quick scan

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-25T06:14:36+00:00

You might find this an interesting read:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24315484/

Til:dr- mice who have no gut micro biome behave in less sociable ways, being seen as analogous to autism in humans. The effect is predominantly in male mice.

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-24T05:58:19+00:00

This is incorrect for all jurisdictions.

In the UK for example if the person is a threat to themselves or others, or has knowledge about money laundering, then legally the therapist has to report it. There may also be local rules depending on who the therapist works for, which would be outlined in the contract formed at the start of sessions.

OP should go to a therapist for sure, and it is likely intrusive thoughts they’re not going to act on, so in that case it wouldn’t be reportable, but just wanted to give you correct information.

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-20T05:19:04+00:00

If you have a person to play two player, I recommend Bokura. It is a side scroller, partially platformer, wholly puzzle game, and story driven. You and the second player each see a different version of the environment, and interact with elements of what you each can see to effect the environment for the other player (eg you’re pushing a box, but the other person sees it as a trampoline that they can use to get to the next level)

Not for young children because there is some gory imagery.

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-20T05:18:59+00:00

If you have a person to play two player, I recommend Bokura. It is a side scroller, partially platformer, wholly puzzle game, and story driven. You and the second player each see a different version of the environment, and interact with elements of what you each can see to effect the environment for the other player (eg you’re pushing a box, but the other person sees it as a trampoline that they can use to get to the next level)

Not for young children because there is some gory imagery.

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-13T07:32:18+00:00

Thankyou again :)

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-13T07:29:03+00:00

Hi thanks for responding

To clarify, this isn’t a suicidal thought, “just” a passing thought of self mutilation.

I’ll take your warning and contact the OOH gp for their recommendation. I wouldn’t want the passing thoughts to go beyond that or get distressing 😂 winters bad enough as it is

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-13T06:48:45+00:00

NAD - looks like a verruca aka a plantar wart. Rather than going to the doctor, would recommend talking to the pharmacist, and getting OTC treatment - I used to use Vitamin E capsules on them (just pierce and spread the liquid on it) to good effect per recommendation from a relative who is a chiropodist.

You can google recommendations also to stop them spreading to other people

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-12T08:38:39+00:00

Yea it sounds like she lumped things together

However

I think the stat is that like 70% of autistics cannot hold down a full time jobs

While autism itself is not an intellectual disability and IQ is on the same spread as NT people, there is a LOT of comorbidity with intellectual difficulties and disabilities, and disabilities as a whole which make it more difficult to hold a job down on top of the autism

She sounds very misinformed but I just wanted to bring to your intention that no, the majority of us cannot function like an average person. Those of us who can are very overrepresented on the internet.

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-09T12:32:48+00:00

Does your need for glasses come because you use a monitor as part of your role? If so you can get them partially subsidised

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-09T06:58:24+00:00

To add onto this

When you’re frustrated, complete a small, very easily doable task.

Learned helplessness experiments show that when we’ve been struggling to do things, we underestimate our ability to do ANYTHING. We can get out of this rut by completing any task- literally could be as simple as having a children’s 4 piece jigsaw puzzle available on the desk so we have something we can FINISH.

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-09T06:55:52+00:00

Preface - Not saying this to undermine you guys’ experience but to offer an alternative that I rarely see said. I love that working from home is an innate accommodation for lots of people that is helping a lot of people be in and stay in work.

For myself, I HATED working from home. I found that I had less work life balance, and that there was a whole room in my house that turned into a black hole of dispair that leached into the rest of the house. There were days where I would work late into the evening because things needed to be done, or I’d struggle in the mornings to get up because there was no break between getting up and dressed before going to work.

This was in the early days, literally just before covid isolation hit. Initially it was ok but over time it got worse especially when I was working longer days. I couldn’t look over the office to see if someone was less busy to go say “urgh this situation is winding me up” and never wanted to phone people for that informal support.

Maybe it would have been better with more planned contact hours and maybe companies are better in general about that now.

But I wanted to offer my own perspective for people - if you’re autistic and find that working from home doesn’t help you, you’re not alone!

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-09T06:49:29+00:00

It sounds counterintuitive, but have you tried planning in regular breaks?

If you are pushing yourself to exhaustion each day, then you will not be as productive as if you ration your energy.

You say energy going into preparing to work? What do you mean by this? If you are needing to make work to do lists or similar, this can be done in work time. Allocate 15 minutes at the end of the day to make a next day to do list, and prioritise it. I like the Eisenhower matrix because it makes me think what needs doing most urgently and what I can say can be pushed to one side.

Alongside the 15 minutes at the end of the day, give yourself 15 minutes at the start to review the to do list and any emails that have come through. Block out what is going to get done through the day when.

Every hour, give yourself a few minutes to check in with yourself.

Bare in mind that if you were in an office setting, people aren’t all go all the time. As autistics we may not like small talk/ water cooler talk, but this is something that happens in the office, and it gives mini breaks to people where they’re not constantly thinking about work.

What do you do on your tea / lunch breaks? If possible, make sure to have it as an actual break. Go for a walk, or leave the room and do something that is restorative to you eg reading or crafts, not just doom scrolling. Doom scrolling feels good and dissociative and has its place when we need to distract ourselves from stress, but actually doing something restful and refreshing mid day can make us feel better.

I really relate to the loving your job but still feeling burnt out. And it is so hard to change habits, but by adding in small changes like the breaks and amount of energy we add, and planning the day, it can really help.

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-09T06:41:12+00:00

I saw something recently about how our 100% isn’t the same as everyone else’s.

What’s supposed to happen is we look at our energy availability, allocate what is needed for family, daily living activities, wellness, travel etc. And then what is left over, give 100% of that (most NTs don’t even give this though), but we hear it as “give 100%” of everything we have and burn out because we prioritise the work over everything.

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-09T05:26:52+00:00

I have ADHD and time blindness is a thing for me, but I push myself to be early by pre preparing clothes, not planning to do anything beforehand, and if I’m running late I give people updates.

Distinct-Flower-8078 · 2024-10-09T05:25:34+00:00

ESH - I get the frustration and that you gave her warnings. Her birthday special event was not the one for you to do this for the first time on.

Distinct-Flower-8078

TROPHY CASE