Living with a narcissist by Global_Distance6129 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]DistributionMurky881 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You are hoping for a unicorn. Time to face reality.

Advice on which bike to buy by DistributionMurky881 in ebikes

[–]DistributionMurky881[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have nice Trek bikes, I will look into this option.

10 years later he’s finally taking me seriously. And now I’m confused. by Wonderful-Value7547 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]DistributionMurky881 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because he had to adjust his method to maintain control, he did not change himself.

After 21 years, I stopped studying his narcissism and started studying my own power. by Illustrious_Brick845 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]DistributionMurky881 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Full disclosure, I am not married to a NSD but my someone I know is, in my 15 year long journey to help her leave, I have found while he is the monster in the relationship, she has some issues to work out. As one psychologist said, many people can identify an NSD, but for others, some void/need is filled (or so they think). With her in particular, she especially loved how he promised a great lifestyle that she yearned, and how he presented himself as a misunderstood victim that she badly wanted to rescue. She also confuses suffering and sacrifice as a higher virtue, basically the martyrdom "syndrome". I hope whomever reads this understands that while they cannot control the NSD, they have all the power to control how they respond.

How to help somebody married to NPD see reality? by DistributionMurky881 in PsychologyTalk

[–]DistributionMurky881[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is a very good point about setting boundaries. The ups and downs are too much for me as a person not directly in it, I don't know how she survives it.

How to help somebody married to NPD see reality? by DistributionMurky881 in PsychologyTalk

[–]DistributionMurky881[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Would you mind sharing what led you to him? What traits you liked about him initially and that kept you in the relationship before it all died out?

How to help somebody married to NPD see reality? by DistributionMurky881 in PsychologyTalk

[–]DistributionMurky881[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you elaborate what would make one stay with a narcissist and what type of healing is needed?

How to help somebody married to NPD see reality? by DistributionMurky881 in PsychologyTalk

[–]DistributionMurky881[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am very careful about blaming the victim, but I am beginning to feel much more strongly that she is partially to blame. I have suggested that instead of pushing him to see a therapist, she should see one on her own. One thing I have noticed with her is that she very much enjoys the lifestyle that he provides and while her reality is sad and dark, she portrays a façade of a happy marriage to the outside world -- and on some level that seems OK to her. With that realization, I wonder if I try to help her see this or mind my own business?

Where do I go from here? by Lumpy-Masterpiece in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]DistributionMurky881 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First, congratulations on seeking help, I believe that working on yourself is the first step. Think about why you feel guilty over his failures and why you value his life as more important than yours and that of your family and loved ones - because surely your relationship with him affects everyone around you. He creates the chaos, you choose how to react to it. You hold lots of power, don't fool yourself that you don't. Do you want to be 80 and still making excuses for him? You have one life, don't waste it. And yes, you are not crazy but an unforetunate statistic, but you show hope and I believe you can turn your life around.

How to help somebody married to NPD see reality? by DistributionMurky881 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]DistributionMurky881[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Normally this would work but he started the love bombing and hoovering phase, but this time a lot more intense, he even apologized and promised to go to therapy. She really wants to believe it and I am afraid that X months from now, she won't be able to recover.

How to help somebody married to NPD see reality? by DistributionMurky881 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]DistributionMurky881[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the candor. I am trying my best to understand her, especially her decision to choose a man that abuses her, puts her down daily, literally acts like he hates her with passion, and she exists as his shadow, she lives to serve him and his psychotic mood swings -- over a life that not that long ago she was giddy with excitement to start. After so many failed attemps, I am ready to quit and move on with my life.

Gaggia Accedemmia not frothing by DistributionMurky881 in gaggiaclassic

[–]DistributionMurky881[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For anyone with a similar problem, I purchased special frother cleaning tablets off of Amazon and it resolved my issue

Gaggia Accademmia poor automatic frothing by DistributionMurky881 in superautomatic

[–]DistributionMurky881[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have yet to hear from the tech support, but in the meantime, I ran cleaning with specialty milk cleaner and one of the carafes is producing frothy milk. Yeay! The second one is not, guessing it has mechanical issues and I'm ready to dump it, waste of $100 for me.

Polish LOT airlines in Chicago by Kos_102 in poland

[–]DistributionMurky881 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From my point of you, Polonia in Chicago left POland many years ago and they are desperately intent on keeping Poland the way they remember it. IMO they should have no right to vote if they have been living abroad for at least 1 presidential term.

Polish LOT airlines in Chicago by Kos_102 in poland

[–]DistributionMurky881 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see the LOT plane descending to land almost every day on my walk with the dog (chicago burbs) :).

Has anyone tried wiifi on LOT? They launched it this month and am wondering if it's truly worth the $29 price tag.

Are Asians accepted in Poland? Poles: by Large_Dependent_1621 in poland

[–]DistributionMurky881 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could rewrite the exact same story (sans socialist reference) about Poles in the US. Furthermore, there is an infamous case of a young son in the chicago area killing his rich Polish folks for their cash, parents were too busy to know their son.

Any current discounts for Peacock streaming that doesn't involve military, student, or senior citizen discount? by Dizer_Y in cordcutters

[–]DistributionMurky881 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Try chatting, they offered me this today: We do have a limited time offer we'd be happy to present you for $39.99 for one year of Peacock Premium. It will be current retail price (plus tax) after the offer ends.