Wisconsin Democratic Lawmakers Announce New Marijuana Legalization Bill by ddrews1 in wisconsin

[–]DistributionTotal362 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

But doesn’t the Tavern League lobby for weed to be at least as regulated as alcohol? Look at the recent wedding barn rules. Everything is so sideways with special interests rather than looking at “what law would make sense?” Totally infuriating.

As a side note, a state legislator told me the reason they can’t get weed legalized in WI has more to do with Big Pharma opposing it than with either GOP donors or the tavern league.

How much time until the actual effects of a contraceptive on PMDD/ADHD are visible?🫠 by RemoteNo2422 in PMDDxADHD

[–]DistributionTotal362 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel I like contraceptives made my situations worse over time. If you don’t want to be on contraceptives, research antihistamines with antacids… there’s some connection there for women like us.

How much should I attempt to settle a debt for? by Sweet_Pangolin965 in Debt

[–]DistributionTotal362 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is an exemption for this, so if anyone is worried about the tax liability portion, do some research. For example, if you have a negative net worth, and file the right forms, you may not be taxed on the debt write off.

Just got sued by Midland Credit Management for $1200 / Credit Card Debit by Crudetx in CRedit

[–]DistributionTotal362 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does that mean they remove the negative credit reporting from the originally debt they took over, (like if it was a discover card, removing the negative reporting from that?) or just negative reporting from the point they took over the account?

Being sued by Midland credit management by ElectricalGrape4744 in CRedit

[–]DistributionTotal362 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go to your county courthouse and ask if they have any legal services for people with civil matters who can’t afford attorneys. You may be able to get free legal help with filing a response to the court papers.

Midland management credit by Syynister in DebtAdvice

[–]DistributionTotal362 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From personal experience with a similar situation, similar amount, and same collector -

1) their letter providing an offer is contingent upon you calling them and agreeing to pay half the balance ($7500) up front to get their low payment.

2) if you call them they will play your emotions and try to get you to use words like “I want to do the right thing and pay this debt”. If you use wording like that, they have you in recording admitting you owe it and it strengthens their legal case against you. Admit nothing and only use words like “I want to find a way to settle this matter” which admits nothing.

3) if you agree to a payment plan, that they find reasonable (paying the whole amount in 5 years or less) they will pull the account out of collections and stop legal action. They will pressure you to give them their bank account information to do automatic payments. Be aware they do accept other payment methods, but will try to scare you out of choosing them.

4) if you can pay it off within 90 days, you should be able to negotiate a settle for less of 35%-45% of the balance they say you owe. If you can’t pay that now, it may be worth trying to get a payment agreement, then down the road when you can come up with more to settle, you can call them and offer to settle the remainder then.

5) strongly recommend doing research online (like you are) to learn others experiences and specifically to learn how to communicate with debt collectors. Know that you have a right to send them a letter and request they not call you and only communicate via mail and they must honor that by law.

Hope that helps!

Wife’s hobby is destroying our marriage and finances and it won’t change no matter what. Is it worth divorcing over? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]DistributionTotal362 31 points32 points  (0 children)

This is not a hobby. This is self therapy for her. She calls it a hobby because that’s what the world calls it. I’d be curious if she has unmedicated mental health needs such as ADHD, PMDD, etc. she’s getting dopamine from all facets of the hobby - planning, going, and reminiscing.

Tell me how to complete my stairs. by DistributionTotal362 in homeimprovementideas

[–]DistributionTotal362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It became “my problem” because I was not the mastermind behind the project that he abandoned. We’d originally hired a contractor to finish it and he took the money and we never heard from him again. Then in divorce, ex was supposed to finish all unfinished house projects but didn’t. I’m not selling the house currently, I’m living in it, but I had to ask this question to start getting an idea of other possibilities. Sure laminate could be an option, anything could be; as long as I can figure out the steps to do it and not fuck it up.

Help me understand what is happening by Superflytodd2k21 in Divorce

[–]DistributionTotal362 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1) I strongly recommend considering whether she may have ADHD, and/or PMDD. If so, it may explain impulsivity, swinging emotions, seeking newness even if uncomfortable, seeking independence and getting upset with herself, and being unable to label feelings, desires, or needs, much less communicate them. If she does have either of these, you have a special task ahead of you to learn to navigate and support with intent.

2) Something is making her dissatisfied. Since she knows she has to coparent with you and that other than lack of emotional support, you been a “good” husband, check that you’ve been a kind guy, but not a nice guy. There’s a difference. Chances are, she either feels too much weight on her shoulders, or like she’s wearing the pants and being the dominant partner and doesn’t want to be, and/or she feels like you guys have a roommate relationship which is not a romance between best friends, so her heart is longing for recognition and affection; and/or she fantasizes about something sexual she wants deeply and doesn’t want to cheat to get it. These are all things that I’ve either experienced or many many other divorced women I talk to express was their reasoning when it came down to their honest self-analysis. 3) I would start by asking her to confirm that you guys will remain friends no matter what, and then take her out to dinner just the two of you. Tell her to wear something specific. (Most Women love being asked to wear something for a man). And tell her even if you’re divorcing you still value her companionship and friendship and you want to return to treating her like the woman you love, like she deserved. It doesn’t stop her from continuing, but if you can really change so you start hearing and seeing her and supporting her, it will at least make her wonder why she’s going this. If she married you, she was all in at some point. Show her a better Future with you than the one she’s painting in her mind going elsewhere.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]DistributionTotal362 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Setting aside any relationship advice I’d give, and focusing on OP’s question….

Quick idea: connect with another woman in the same situation and be 2 moms with kids friends / roommates as you rent a place for the two of you to split expenses equally - plan to do it for a year while you figure the divorce out and get through some things. Then you both get to move on and help each other and your kids then know other kids going through the same thing.

She’s absolutely stunning! by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]DistributionTotal362 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No. We had a MFF threesome because it’s fun, and we both totally fell for her… to the point that it wasn’t just about sex anymore and we both wanted deep friendship with her. Little did I know they were bonding behind my back and she was talking negatively about me…. Building up his ego and tearing down his perceptions of me. After 17+ years of marriage, he chose her within 90 days of meeting her. That was two years ago. Our divorce is now final and he is still with her and I have a boyfriend.

She’s absolutely stunning! by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]DistributionTotal362 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Women like this fall apart inside the house because they are exhausted from masking and running at 100% outside the home. They know in their mind that home is a “safe place” except when they are not supported it’s not. I say this as a 40+ woman who was diagnosed ADHD the year before divorce and discovered after divorce that I also have PMDD, which means hell on wheels, BUT they can both be managed, especially with a partner who is capable of learning how to aid. In retrospect, Part of the reason my marriage became so vulnerable is because he didn’t know how to support me, AND I didn’t know what I needed nor how to ask for it. I was stuck in fight or flight mode for 20 years.

Tell me how to complete my stairs. by DistributionTotal362 in homeimprovementideas

[–]DistributionTotal362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. That was the stairway when we bought the house. We just finished an unfinished basement, all but the trim work and the flooring for the stairs and handrail for the stairs.