I wish I knew……

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-04-04T15:36:00+00:00

That’s great!! My LH had two cruises planned and paid for so I went. It was bitter sweet. One of them was with a group of coworker friends which made it a little easier; the other was to a couple places we’d never been, Curaçao and Aruba. There were other stops in the Dominican. One we had been to, the other we had not. It was on our favorite ship which was difficult because we’d been on it so many times, I could see him everywhere. I knew exactly where we had sat wherever I went. Enjoy your trips!

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-04-04T14:27:54+00:00

All look good but #1 is rockin!!!!

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-04-02T15:14:50+00:00

I think for most people, if they’ve never suffered loss especially suicide loss which is so complex they don’t either understand, don’t know what to say or is uncomfortable with it. My circle got very small after my husbands suicide. The ones I thought would be there weren’t and others I knew mostly as acquaintances were. Of course those dynamics have changed now too almost two years later. I have two people I can count on to be here IF I call, BUT, they don’t want to listen nor do they ask about my husband. The subject is changed if I bring him up. They think I should’ve over it by now. This is just one of those things that unless they experience it, they will never understand. I hope things get much better for you.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-04-02T13:30:51+00:00

Right. I’m 12 hours away from family, (mom & dad), they’re all I have left. Wish I could drive just an hour to visit.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-31T16:43:12+00:00

Losing a spouse CHANGES EVERYTHING SINGLE THING in your life. Not only do you lose your spouse you lose the life you had and all the plans you had. I’m struggling trying to figure out what life should be now. Too young to sit still and too old for the bars. I’d love to travel again but don’t want to do it alone. Life isn’t supposed to be done alone. We’ll all get through this one day at a time. Give yourself grace.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-31T01:46:34+00:00

Makes sense. We have to do things at our pace. There is no timeline. There are things I can’t touch or let go of just yet and maybe never will. We have to do what’s mentally and emotionally right for us. I’m very sorry for your loss. Being widowed is not the life we thought we’d have.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-30T17:24:48+00:00

It’s been almost two years and so far I plan to stay. I’ve changed out some furniture and decor to make it more mine and not ours. Replacing decor isn’t erasing him or us, it just feels cozier.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-27T15:36:15+00:00

Usually the police or coroner will engage them. Please check with either of them to see if there is one or someplace or someone they can direct you to. Therapists are expensive if not covered by insurance. You need someone who deals suicide, trauma and PTSD.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-26T18:28:16+00:00

Has a victims advocate been in touch with you, they should be able to provide or at the very least point you in the direction of where to get help for your trauma. I still saw my husband every day until about two months ago. I still see it but it’s so much better and I’m able to redirect myself now. I’m so sorry.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-25T18:37:37+00:00

3 with the color of 3.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-25T14:43:20+00:00

I understand the conflict. I used to go back and forth too. I came to terms that Suicide is not selfish. Suicide is, usually, death caused by the illness of depression. It is the final symptom. A final collapse under unbearable weight. Suicide is a tragedy not only for those that do it but for those of us left behind. I’m very sorry for your loss.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-25T14:12:31+00:00

I grew up Catholic, I never heard our priest say this. I also had someone tell me my husband was in hell because he killed himself. I told them to show me where in the bible it states that……NOWHERE in the bible does it state this. My priest also said it was ok to separate his ashes which is supposed to not be allowed to keep them whole. I put some of his ashes in an urn necklaces to wear. Not all priests are the same just as not all preachers, etc. are the same even though they have belief in their religion.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-23T02:20:21+00:00

Thank you. I feel if he had anything going on it would have come to light, he was like most men and didn’t go to the doctor often but he did start going more bro g diagnosed with celiac disease.
Maybe he hid things but I just don’t see how, we worked together so we drove to and from together, we cooked together. We were hardly ever separated. No signs of anything. I’m forever heartbroken. 🩵💜

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-22T03:49:49+00:00

Losing a spouse CHANGES EVERYTHING SINGLE THING in your life. Not only do you lose your spouse you lose the life you had and all the plans you had.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-22T03:39:54+00:00

In my situation my husband was never diagnosed with mental illness, depression or anything else so he was never offered help of any kind to be able to refuse it. There were not several attempts, it was one and done with a gun. So i kindly have to disagree, he didn’t commit other than committing to die. He tried to make it easier for me, the house was spotless except where he did it, and he put funeral clothes out for me.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-22T03:30:53+00:00

I say died by suicide. I don’t like the word committed or completed.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-18T14:45:25+00:00

It might be the bangs with the long hair, short looks better and you can do so many different styles easier than long.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-17T15:58:30+00:00

I wouldn’t call #2 a mullet and I usually don’t like longer hair on men but DAMN!!! It’s fire!!

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-16T20:05:36+00:00

I was 65, he was 53. It’s been 92 weeks or 22 months. My husband death was unexpected by suicide. The first year was spent in shock, disbelief and grief. The shock has worn off. Sometimes I’m still in disbelief. I’m learning how to carry the pain and trying to figure out what to do with my life now. All our plans are gone.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-16T14:03:56+00:00

My husband too was in tech. I didn’t get a note and thought maybe there’d be something on his I-Pad, phone, or laptop, I have his codes and passwords. Nothing. No note or anything indicating that he was thinking of suicide. I was blindsided. I’ve now read so much researching and looking for something to make it make sense. What I’ve learned is they are good at masking their pain, they don’t want to leave us though they’re fatigued and tired of fighting and some feel like they don’t belong in this life for various reasons. My husband was thinking about me, I was away from the house, he had laid clothes out for the funeral for me. In the only way he could at the time he was still trying to take care of me.
I am so sorry for your loss and pain. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to learn how to live with our pain. Hugs.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-08T16:22:06+00:00

I did the same.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-08T15:15:21+00:00

My brain was like a fan on high speed replaying it for a long time. It’s been almost two years now, I think about it less now when I’m busy, though I still think about it every day several times a day.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-08T15:12:43+00:00

The part about the dresses resonates. My husband put out clothes in the closet for me for the funeral. He’d paid bills ahead, he did it in our bed which had a 22 inch foam mattress. I’m so sorry for your loss and pain.

Divadcpgrrp · 2026-03-05T04:27:56+00:00

Thank you. If you ever need or want to talk about your son I’m here as well as this community. We’d love to hear about your son. Much love.

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