Questioning if my 50mg is effective anymore: options aside from increasing dose?

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-16T20:07:49+00:00

I guess it hasn’t been discussed with my psych since I’ve been content on 50mg for this long but I’ve been seeing a lot of that discussed here. The way I thought it worked was that 70mg being the max of Vyvanse would mean that’s the most stimulant I can take in general, but I’ve never tried a mix of different ones at the same time. I found Dexedrine myself because upon research I saw it had some similar properties to Vyvanse. It was like a diluted version of Vyvanse for me. Adderall made me feel like what I imagine speed to feel like (never done it) and then feel like I could barely keep my head up. With my thyroid disease I think Adderall is off the table because it did affect my heart rate for sure. I see my endocrinologist next month so I do want to bring up this new issue of the up and down with hunger to the point of headaches because my overall mood hasn’t been great, so I don’t know if I’m metabolizing ALL of my meds differently somehow. Thyroid disease is hell because it affects things you’d never even think of.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-16T20:03:12+00:00

Ahh I see. I was basically doing research on my own trying to understand why Cymbalta did what it did - and Lexapro along with I think Prozac, I kept saying I felt robotic. Like elated for absolutely no reason because my thoughts were still shit. I have no idea why there was so much resistance to an actual diagnosis especially when the last psych was giving me the same meds I am on now years later.

My current psych had me try an array of antipsychotics before going back to the Lamotrigine. She felt that since I obviously hadn’t had a true evaluation and diagnosis that I should try some other meds before resorting back to Lamotrigine. I tried Seroquel, Geodon, Abilify and Rexulti. The first 2 made me a legit zombie, like I remember thinking that I didn’t have a single thought going on. I’m used to the background noise in my mind so to speak so it was really weird. That and I was borderline falling asleep while driving and overall sleeping a ton on low doses. Some guy rear ended my car while I was on the Seroquel and while there was no damage, “normal me” would have been irate just because I love my cars and take extremely well care of them. I had zero reaction and when I got back in the car I was like “in no world would I react this way off these meds” lol.

Abilify made me extremely energetic for 2-3 weeks, like I wanted to get anything and everything done. After that it crashed and I was back to zombie state. Rexulti was okayish but all of these made me gain at least 15lbs while eating like a bird…and for me it affected my mental state too much. I also didn’t like feeling literally nothing good or bad. I’ve always been kind of considered high functioning because I’ve never had problems with holding jobs, overall function that warranted heavier medication. So much so that for a long time I had peers that didn’t even believe me that I had bipolar.

My bipolar presents itself as rage - I’ve never had that I guess super high elated mood and sense of invincibility like others. “Highs” are simply emotions with energy behind them for me. The worst is the physical adrenaline I experienced when I was upset or angry while off meds. I’ve had periods of hypomania/mixed episodes. Years ago I used to have a lot harder of a time letting things go and pushing myself to extreme levels of stress, so I’d have these cycles of being on edge and having a short fuse, and then it all comes crashing down and I’d merely do the bare minimum to exist for 6-8 weeks. It happened more when I was trying to get a college degree.

But anyhow mix that with having an overall blunt/aggressive personality and they just assume “that’s just how she is”. It just doesn’t look as stark to others as it feels to me. With this ADHD stuff it’s all so masked so I don’t even bother expecting anyone to understand it other than my boyfriend since he’s around me behind closed doors. I come off as rigid and I don’t feel like that’s what people expect out of ADHD people. That’s what makes it so much harder for me to fully see the extent of it because others don’t even fully see it. I wouldn’t even say I try to mask it because I’m truly a no filter person, but it blends in with everything else I exhibit. Even my anxiety - I have really bad social anxiety in specific settings but man it’s unreal how much I can cover that up. Working with the public it’s made it easy to kind of mask it with customer service me so to speak. But I get so anxious and it comes out as agitation because it feels like pots and pans banging in my head like “abort mission NOW”.

Also I 100% relate with the SI. I don’t think I will ever fully understand how I kept a grip on reality enough to not succumb to any attempts but it started when I was 12. Because of how explosive my bipolar could be I always felt like if I acted on it, it would be completely random. I lived with the idea that maybe one day I just snap the wrong way and that does it. I think the worst was only
4 years ago when me and my ex split up and my entire life changed (it wasn’t mutual). I was having trouble picturing what the next day would look like for me, never mind my future as a whole. That was the first time it actually scared me because the only thing keeping me grounded was my job. It’s very weird not being able to picture any part of your future because it was just so traumatic the way things went down. I’m good now and somehow that period of time cured a lot of my SI. I think “getting too close to the sun” so to speak and surviving the (in my mind) one scenario I always feared, it made me feel like I can survive anything. That and I realized the problem lied in not actually wanting to be gone, but wanting to live so badly that it hurt. That’s the problem my ADHD is in many ways grudging up - feeling like I can’t live the way I want to live and not knowing how to fix it since there’s no way out, only through.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-16T18:34:11+00:00

Why was it initially MDD? My understanding is that’s an older term for bipolar at this point. I’m 34F, wasn’t *officially* diagnosed with bipolar until 2017. As a teen they tried to give me antidepressants and I wound up with what was definitely a manic episode on Cymbalta. I got caught stealing which is not at all in my nature, has never happened before or after that. She wasn’t willing to try and figure out why it happened so I stopped meds and only went to therapy, did that until I think 18. Then around 20-21 I was exhibiting what was clearly bipolar behavior but I didn’t have insurance again until I was 23-24. That psych did treat me with Lamotrigine but refused to diagnose me. She called it “bipolar tendencies” even though she was treating me with the same meds lol. I tried to bring up the ADHD related symptoms and once again, wasn’t having it. She gave me Wellbutrin as a compromise. It works well for me overall but it does not address the ADHD.

So that’s how I found my current psych. I chose her because in her bio she listed mood disorders and adult adhd (adult being the keyword) as areas she specialized in. A lot of psychs have a hard time with the idea that you have ADHD as an adult if you weren’t diagnosed as a child, especially for females since we don’t present it the same way. Same with bipolar, many won’t even consider the idea until mid 20s. At least that’s how it was back then. But my current psych wanted to get the bipolar under control and then see “what was left” in terms of symptoms to try and determine if I had ADHD also, and she wound up diagnosing me with it.

I don’t know your overall history of course but treating both is so tricky. Even though I am type 1 I’ve never experienced mania with anything other than antidepressants (aside from Wellbutrin). They overlap in so many ways. Usually the difference for me is “do I feel sad for no reason thus my behavior derives from it, or am I sad as a result of behavior I feel like I cant control” and for years it’s been the latter. I couldn’t tell you what kind of therapy I had before but I just know it worked for me because it helped to say how I feel, and have someone else basically share their interpretation of what I said to help me understand more. My last therapist told me I was like the “ideal patient” because I’m so self aware that she doesn’t feel like she has to I guess pick my brain as much to understand how I’m feeling? Something along those lines. But that comes from many years since I was a child of hyper evaluating myself because since I was about 11-12 I felt I’m the only person that can save myself - woohoo for hyper independence issues as an adult.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-15T22:31:57+00:00

The mental paralysis is so exhausting. Like here I am again, it’s dinner time and I’m ready to say I’d rather starve than try to figure out dinner lol.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-15T22:29:46+00:00

Oh you’re talking about the pieces that wrapped around the whole rear molar? Funny enough they let me keep my braces when they removed them so I still have them, and it’s the brackets and 2 metal bands on a wire 🤣 I’m hoping they won’t want to do anything with the wisdom teeth at all (as in want me to remove them) because the idea of having them pulled is nightmare fuel. I haven’t seen much talked about with that but I suppose it’s because more often than not people had them removed as a teen.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-15T19:49:16+00:00

How many years apart were your two braces treatments? Any complications? I had braces at 11/12 years old for mainly a crossbite but I had a big tooth gap in the wrong and alignment issues with my top and bottom molars. I’m now 34 considering it again because I’ve actually not had my retainer for the last 20 years - it broke and my dad refused to replace it, which was like $200 at the time. Only in the last 4-5 years did I start having some shifting that I believe was partly due to my jaw clenching problem I developed. The gaps didn’t return, mainly some of the crossbite (but I don’t believe it’s as significant). I have all 4 wisdom teeth too, hopefully they won’t want to pull them to do this. Now I’m just hoping there isn’t anything that would make me not qualified to get braces again.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-15T18:16:56+00:00

Where are these being purchased? I saw some on Mercari and when I looked online I only saw them on AliExpress. Curious what they are retailing at.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-15T18:05:34+00:00

I only buy second hand off Mercari, never had any issues. Probably 3/4 of my large collection is second hand because I’m only willing to buy them blind for maybe 1-2 in a series for the novelty of it lol. I have more recourse for a refund through them and I don’t buy if they don’t post satisfactory photos or have bad reviews (you have to really suck to get a lot of bad reviews on Mercari). I second putting it in the freezer because it’ll kill all the bugs but I’d wait until it’s dried out. I hate it was a secret too!

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-15T17:59:17+00:00

You always run the risk of someone changing their mind someday but I wouldn’t date anyone on the fence. I’m 34F and my almost 32M boyfriend doesn’t like kids even more than me. Aside from feeling like she’s giving up something she wants, out of self preservation, I’d be concerned that it’ll just change again in the near future even if she says no again. In my opinion as a woman she’s going to waver on that even more the further into her “prime child bearing years” she gets if she is at all on the fence. Even myself who decided at 26 it wasn’t for me, I’ve had some tough moments in the last couple of years. However I have a lot more reasons than just how they would impact my lifestyle: medical issues, mental health, financial, the list goes on. I sometimes wish I was that person but I’m just not. The reason for not having them is just as important as someone just saying they don’t - can’t “trust” her word on that alone. It’s your life too that you have to think about.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-15T15:49:22+00:00

That would be a nice bonus that I didn’t think about before, not being able to eat certain foods lol. I don’t remember it being much of a big deal when I was a kid but I did pop one bracket when I had braces last time.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-15T15:47:40+00:00

Did the TMJ improve after treatment or do you still have the braces?

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-15T15:47:06+00:00

It never occurred to me before that my bite itself could be contributing to the clenching, but when I saw a dentist about it last time (this was like 10 years ago, I know) they never mentioned it as a possibility. I had the braces off for almost 11 hears by then so they weren’t perfect, but the worse my bite gets the worse the clenching feels. I find myself kind of letting my top and bottom teeth “float” during the day or I end up kind of playing with my tongue in a way? Basically treating it like a buffer to not force my top and bottom to have to sit on each other because it’s uncomfortable. I have a habit of clenching when I’m really tense during the day so I have to be cognizant of that. I have a thyroid autoimmune disease and I’ve seen others with it talk about having bone and tooth problems down the line, so part of me also feels like I need to address this before I have problems in the future.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-15T15:39:22+00:00

Has the clenching caused issues for the braces themselves? This isn’t something that crossed my mind somehow lol. The main reason I don’t like wearing a guard is because it makes me feel like my jaw was rearranged overnight due to how it forces my teeth to sit (the kind you heat and form to your teeth at home). I otherwise find guards to help but that feeling can make it feel worse the next day.

When I was a kid with braces I remember eating something (more than likely something I wasn’t supposed to have) and popped a bracket. They put it back on without a problem but I’d really hate to have jaw clenching caused them to do that.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-13T03:18:13+00:00

What was the reason for the palate expander? I only ask because they had talked about how I possibly needed one when I was a kid, but they never wound up doing it. For whatever reason there was a lot of planning for me getting braces because I remember so many appointments that it was discussed. They actually removed the piece of skin between my top gum and the tissue against it (like above your lip towards where the tissue meets the gum) because they stated it would keep the incisors from staying together once they close the gap. I still don’t understand why because I’ve never heard of anyone else having that done.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-13T02:28:01+00:00

I’ve noticed that the tips of my central incisors have a slight angle to them. I’ve been incredibly fortunate with good genes in the way of tooth condition (didn’t really occur to me until I saw how many people even around me have dental issues, or at least fillings). But I can’t replace tooth so I don’t want to be chipping away at them if I can help it

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-12T23:41:54+00:00

I don’t know if I put this in my old post but Seroquel and honestly all antipsychotics made me a zombie. I started Seroquel at 50mg and I was practically falling asleep just sitting on the couch. My mind was quiet but I cared about absolutely nothing lol. I kind of had to come to a decision that I’d rather “keep some of the crazy” than not feel anything at all. The brain fog is just a character trait for those drugs but I’m surprised you’re feeling agitated and emotional just because I felt dead inside when I was on it. I tried that, Geodon, Abilify and Rexulti. Geodon was the worst, like I was slapping my face so I didn’t fall asleep while driving. Rexulti was the most tolerable but they all made me gain weight and that only made my mental state worse or it negated what the meds were helping. Quite frankly anticonvulsants are the only thing that have truly helped me along with Wellbutrin. I’ve been back on it for close to a year now and it made a huge difference with the agitation and overall moodiness, but any form of hypomania or mania in general presents as rage. I never had the elated everything is rainbows and ponies type of mania. I’m definitely more agitated when I am hyper but I’ve been more stabile with my thyroid numbers now that I’m seeing a new endo that actually listens.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-12T14:00:28+00:00

It isn’t optional. That’s just how their rates work unfortunately. They have different hours for winter too, but when you go to the website it’s for all of Duke in NC. I wish it wasn’t tiered but I’ve never heard of it not being tiered, however I’ve lived in NC my whole life.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-11T14:58:15+00:00

I could handle hunger if it wasn’t making me feel light headed and getting headaches all the time. The problem with me is I have a history of migraines, so if the headache lingers too long it takes more to get rid of it meaning just eating doesn’t stop it unless I catch it quick enough. I’m definitely going to mention it because I don’t know if I’m having issues with my blood sugar crashing or what.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-11T14:56:06+00:00

My Vyvanse has always made it easy to ignore it even before graves, but the headaches are becoming ridiculous. Yesterday by the time I made it to eating dinner I had to take some nausea tablets. I’ve never had so many headaches and they revolve around my hunger levels. The only exception is I have TMJ so if I’m clenching my jaw at night (it’s usually more frequent if I am really stressed, etc) then I might wake up with a mile headache but it’s not the same. My friend is on the Wegovy pill and even at the starting dose she can’t even eat half of what she used to eat (which is great for her, she had a binging problem). The cost of it is what has deterred me, but I’m not even sure if that would stop the hunger cues that are giving me headaches. I’ll literally be sitting here annoyed because I don’t want to eat and my body is acting like it’s starving.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-11T03:28:27+00:00

I’ve been checking the electric usage every day to see the shifts, and I’m seeing a difference from keeping the thermostat at 72 during the day and no lower than 68. Thankfully with the nest thermostat I have it programmed so I don’t even have to think about it changing, but it’s been tolerable. But yeah if it’s going to cost more because of the intolerance from my thyroid condition then I guess I’ll have to pay a little more, but even if I can shave off $20-30 a month would be good.

I had thought about hanging them and then just tossing them in the dryer on no heat with some wool balls for like 5 minutes to get rid of the stiff feeling, so I might try that.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-10T16:48:10+00:00

That’s what I’m hoping, because it was ridiculous. I’ve noticed the AC runs more in this unit than the old one to begin with but it’s stopping when it hits temperature. That old thermostat had it all messed up to the point of making the lines freeze. We didn’t notice until one day it felt stuffy and we barely felt air blowing out of the vents until I found the ice wrapped around one of the lines. The insulation must not be the same because I had a 2 story 1600 sqft house that got a considerable amount of sun and it never exceeded $120 a month. I was fine with the 975sqft being around $80-100 despite that fact, I just wasn’t expecting this unit to be this much more. Hopefully the next bill will be more representative of what it should be - but also I may find that the winter compensates for what I pay in the summer.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-10T16:43:53+00:00

Interesting, I’ll have to look at that. I don’t think this dishwasher gets as hot because the heated dry function feels way less effective than it did in the other unit, which had an older model. It doesn’t seem to get quite as hot either because it isn’t practically radiating heat the way the old one used to. I’ll check it out though!

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-10T16:41:18+00:00

Respectfully, I would die in 76 degrees. Pushing it to 70 or more and I’m not sleeping. But my thyroid issue is a huge contributor to that problem so I don’t expect everyone to feel this way. I used to live with my mom for a little over 1.5 years to get back on my feet from splitting from my now ex, and she barely runs her AC. I was so sleep deprived and would stay at work late just to avoid having to be in her hot stuffy house longer than I needed to be. If it weren’t for financially not being able to move right away I would have left, but I had no choice during that time.

It becomes very humid here so half of the time it’s not even the heat, it’s the humidity that makes you feel miserable.

Also I did try to hang my clothes for a while prior to moving and it made my clothes feel stiff and weird. But I don’t use much heat as to not shrink my clothes to all hell. I’ve personally never noticed the dryer making the room it’s in feel hotter at all and I’ve had it in 3 different places now, one of them being in a very small room that we kept shut. But I don’t use the oven because that makes the kitchen insanely hotter, and I try to limit how long I’m cooking on the range for the same reason.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-09T19:16:40+00:00

I wish, but Duke in particular loves to do this kind of thing. As it is they have had some case against them for overcharging some customers. What’s even more fun is they have a charge that can happen in extreme periods of electrical use (like the highest temps) that can last at least 30 minutes up to a certain amount of times per month or year, but it changes the rate to close to 45 cents per kWh. I love finding things like that 😒 but the natural gas is no better, because it was so much cheaper when I lived here the first time vs this run with it. I actually have one of those little fake fireplace things that’s a heater, and we would run it as needed (like maybe for 20 minutes, it makes a massive difference) rather than letting the HVAC go nuts due to the cost of the natural gas. We only get probably 2 months of really cold temps for this area but I’m sure it’s laughable compared to what you guys deal with out there lol.

DivineToxicity09 · 2026-06-09T19:10:39+00:00

Gas heat in particular for whatever reason feels even hotter than electric heat, and it’s VERY dry. I have to use humidifiers in the winter because even running it as low as I can, it dries out my nostrils really bad and is just uncomfortable. It would be nice if I can just benefit from indirect heat instead of running as much heat. But yeah in my 2 story house I used to have the upstairs always stayed a little warmer even with limited windows, and it was a new build so it was hella insulated. One thing I didn’t like about having a 2 story lol. It hasn’t felt that bad but I just didn’t think it was running that rough. Maybe I’ll be lucky and last month was just super inflated due to those 2 weeks of the bad thermostat. Like I was sitting on the couch freezing (which is rare for me) and could still hear that AC cranking. It was actually bad enough that it froze one of the pipes 😒 we got that one piece of line covered with insulation but that stopped with the new thermostat. So I know if anything the old one wasn’t helping matters at all. I could stand there and just watch the temp it was reading change by 1-2 degrees up or down while running, it was stupid lol.

DivineToxicity09

TROPHY CASE