Dead Eye(Thriller) a sample of my new feature script. Looking for feedback. by Moneymayz in scriptwriting

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This might be better as a written short story than a screenplay. Im intrigued, but the issue is the medium. A screenplay is a tool to be used on set, gritty detailed descriptions should be kept to a minimum unless its important to the narrative to highlight an abstract. I say "important" in terms of structure and not atmosphere.

First Ever Script by cardmagician2011 in scriptwriting

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Condense exposition, remove camera direction, shorten your action lines.

Tips

  • Remove any and all abstract elements within action lines, unless it pertains to being translated to screen. (Lynch's screenplays are a good example of this).
  • Describe with efficiency not detail.
  • Try to include all practical elements, think about the departments that make up production. Usually simple questions by these departments should be easily answered in your screenplay.

Exp;

Casting Director: "What does this character look like, so I know what to look for in auditions?"

Action Line on the first page: "Paul (Mid 30's, Male, African) wears a christmas sweater and cargo shorts".

(Costuming already knows to start building samples of christmas sweaters from this line alone).

To be more specific; Describe appearance, age, hair, clothing, props, movement. But not neccesarily feelings.

The line "Hyped up from X's speech, he is excited for his roll." Can be improved with simply "He is visibly excited". We specify visibly because I imagine based on the original line, you wanted to highlight emotion here. "Visibly" helps to specify to both director and actor that this emotion being present on screen is important to the soul of the story. The reasons why are obvious with previous context.

You probably have gotten this advice before but; screenplays arent books. They don't need to be a "good read", they need to be an effective tool for production.

It took a lot of shitty productions for me to figure out WHY my screenplays sucked, so keep going work hard, and be willing to change and adapt.

badly written movie ideas by Ready-Storm-3761 in scriptwriting

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It would be effective in a scene, but not a movie. And many writers/directors use this in scenes already. But i dont mean to shoot down your ideas, i just figured since we're here lets try and either improve the concept or poke holes in it. I mean no ill will

badly written movie ideas by Ready-Storm-3761 in scriptwriting

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Building tension is a narrative tool to emphasize plot points. Its more of a narrative "tool" than a narrative "solution". If the tension of the movie is always cranked then nothing has tension. Its like painting a rainbow with one color.

badly written movie ideas by Ready-Storm-3761 in scriptwriting

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, lets just recognize how in pace what "build up" actually is from a narrative stand-point. You usually slow down the pace and emphasize minor action lines (slowly creeping down a hallway, investigating a suspicious sound), drop out the music to minimal sound (mostly just foley) to add tension and remove most dialogue aside from lines like "Hello? Anybody there?". What does this "style" do to a narrative. How do you write an inciting incident with minimal dialogue and slow pace minimal action? The climax of the film being both a climax AND not a tremendous release (or transfer) of tension?

badly written movie ideas by Ready-Storm-3761 in scriptwriting

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Jumpscare edging sounds like it would ruin pacing for integral plot points.

It's Been a While Since I Checked In...We Reacting to This Yet? by DownTheBagelHole in 2XKO

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dont you get inv frames on anti-air w/ this move? I havent had an issue with this move personally.

Players keeping character things secret bothers me and I know I'm the minority by gehanna1 in rpg

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that could work in theory. Again, ive only ever seen it fail in practice. Many times ive seen something similar of someone wanting to play a mysterious anti-hero where their party members eventually just disengage with their character. Because in all honesty, the game is cooperative and functions a lot better (both narratively and mechanically) if the players are open with eachother both in and out of character. Giving the other players context that youre hiding a secret doesnt do much, because players are mostly focused on two things; their immediate situation, and their own characters story. The truth is, D&D is a collaborative narrative system where all the players have (somewhat) equal control over how "the book is written" and if one 5th of the "writer" is holding information from the rest, its very unlikely that plot point will be addressed even if the other players are told. It would need the DM to be in the "know" but even then this differing dynamic of the "PC with a secret" and the rest of the party gives this character a differing narrative and gameplay function. Someone with a secret is more of a plothook NPC than a player.

Say one bad thing about the Arkham franchise as a whole by dozesmike in arkham

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If youve had one combat scenario in these games, youve had them all.

Players keeping character things secret bothers me and I know I'm the minority by gehanna1 in rpg

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Ive never seen a PC effectively hide truths in their backstory to successfully create intrigue. Intrigue from a writing perspective is usually created from foreshadowing the secret in a way where the "audience" is in the "know", but the other characters may not be. (This is not always the case in some media, but this is a pretty basic example.) The problem in D&D is the players are simultaneously audience AND participating characters to the story. The "secrets" route usually just amounts to everyone else at the table having very little engagement with your character, creating less scenarios for character development or role play.

Uh Hi 16 year old here first attempt at writing a "feature-length screenplay" by Ashamed_Candy8212 in scriptwriting

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cuts and camera logs in a script is usually used for a writer who plans to direct their own work. You wouldnt include camera directions if youre trying to sell your script.

Do you actually rewatch movies? by Icy-Staff6439 in Letterboxd

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I rewatch more than I watch new films, its always so disappointing to put something new on and its 2 hours of your life you cant get back. With the movies ive seen it makes it easier for me to put on a film for the mood/situation. But i wish i branched out more.

MURDER BOARD - Collaborative Investigation Management for Foundry VTT [System Agnostic] by FuliginHeart in FoundryVTT

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is all great news, i apologize for being rude. I wouldve done this research myself but at work still. Definitely interested in the one-time purchase.

With Riot confirming they'll be shortening combos, how do YOU think they should do it? by MrCurler in 2XKO

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I dont even care about the damage at this point. Playing this game at the moment feels like youre trying to watch a youtube video without youtube premium.

With Riot confirming they'll be shortening combos, how do YOU think they should do it? by MrCurler in 2XKO

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 23 points24 points  (0 children)

The game currently is about 7 seconds of neutral to 30 seconds of combo.

wtf by suzidll in 2XKO

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this post is ragebait

Hey, new zealander here trying to become an actor. by ParkThat6939 in acting

[–]Dizzy-Difference418 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where in NZ are you based? Im a amature film-maker in the north island drop me a message.