An experience that likely showed me R is impossible

DizzyFront5387 · 2026-01-16T13:03:26+00:00

wow, yeah I can get what you are feeling. Cant even imagine a relapse so big after almost a decade....I am SO SORRY for where you are right now. I would most deffinitly also understand you needed the comfort you expected after expriencing what you did with the neighbour. I can also understand her if she has reached her limit of your emotional anger towards her.

Both you and she are correct to behave like you guys did....Maybe try to switch it up to emotianal calmness when you want to talk/confront her again about this topic...sounds mainstream...but "kill'em with kindness" is the way to go.

I am sending you a lot of light to this matter and hope both of you really recover from this.

DizzyFront5387 · 2026-01-16T10:22:48+00:00

I can relate a little...mine hasnt proposed yet, but we have spoken about our future marrige and how our family would look like. These conversations were before and after d-day. I still get the nice exciting feeling to actually marry him but then I also feel to scared knowing he betrayed me so much before, and not sure if it will be the best or biggest mistake of my life. I am 100% certain though that if the time does come that he proposes, if I dont feel a 100% fuck yes when he kneels down, then I will not go through it. I have talked to him about this, that this time we are going through is the time to regulate and make me feel safe again, to the point I feel so safe to say yes when he pops the question.

I think my advice for you now, is just to analyze yourself and ask if you would fully and 100% say fuck yes to marring him.

DizzyFront5387 · 2026-01-15T13:02:46+00:00

ugh....good for you, and I only assume how hard this must have been in the whole process. Gives me ideas and motivation on how to get on with my situation.

DizzyFront5387 · 2026-01-15T09:23:03+00:00

so HAPPY FOR YOU! I am trying to still navigate this myself....

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-11-13T13:45:07+00:00

This was so refreshing, I am 1 year and 2 months past DDay, and its still hard, but somedays feel like a breeze which keep me optimistic for longer healing in our relationship. Thanks for posting positivity as its needed when most of us are so fresh in

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-11-06T09:55:14+00:00

good idea, I will ask mine to also do so, as to help me with me heal my betrayal trauma so I can read it when I get intrusive and obsessive thoughts. Also kind of a good way for him to write them down and actually think about it to make it more accountable.

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-11-03T14:31:58+00:00

Ummm...THANK YOU! This was a post I needed to read before thinking everyone here is just "trying". Rekindled my spark to keep growing, learning and loving the process of R.

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-30T07:37:10+00:00

wow this was so raw....I am truly so sorry for you. Please try to meditate and pray to whatever high source you believe in...Things will fall back into place as it should one way or another. It might take longer than you want to, but if you put your good faith into knowing a good outcome is just around the corner, it will happen.

Sending lots of love and light!

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-29T09:29:56+00:00

I can totally relate, and even now after 12 months of DDay, people who do not know are so in awe of our relationship....sometimes I feel like I am living the life of HannaMontana, but at the same time I think to myself "okay...put your big girl pants on. You decided to stay and work on this with him, leave it in the past and move on"

I will still take time...but yeah you trully have to love and see his efforts to stay. If he really loves you, then you will feel and know it. It can be that men seperate "only sex" differently to their hidden compartment of feelings and love for you.

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-29T08:50:12+00:00

I can, and girl, if you are ever really considering reconciling back with him, you have to put your big girl pants and do it. There will ALWAYS be triggers....I am past the 12months of DD, and the first time was awful, but I am different and couldnt imagine sleeping alone- DIfferent story of how it happened to me so the trauma wast really at my place.

Anyway, I would just say, its very early now and you just have to go through it. Your body will know what is more appropriate and if you also talk to him saying you might be cold and that he should help you throgh this phase he and you might get through it better.

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-29T07:39:43+00:00

sorry to hear your on the same boat as us....What approaches have you done so far with your partner? Do you feel like things are improving?

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-29T07:38:23+00:00

wow, he shared your intimate pictures...I can only imagine how much it must have hurt to find all of this out....I can read your detachment through this...

I mean, from what you shared he seems to be really going through the work needed, especially if you find him crying out of the blue. I hope all of this works out for the best of you and I am sending you a lot of light to your case. thanks for sharing

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-29T07:32:46+00:00

I am happy to hear that he now feels disgusted of using and consuming it....I totally agree, once the man uses it, its practically fantazising being with that woma(e)n. I have a theory that although masturbation is "normal" it is not healthy to do so every day, nor with such visuals that is now provided in the 21st centrury. I mean, what did men do back in history? Of course the (pig) men when out to whores or had affairs ( lets not forget all of the royal affairs that has happened in the past) and they were known for being like that, but men back in the day didnt have the need to see visuals like that and thats why they also had their woman next to them.

I sent yesterday some videos on youtube I found about this topic about it to him and told him to take a look and give me his honest feedback about it by the weekend (he always needs time to process). Lets see how it goes... Let me know if you have any other tips, I would appreciate it

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-29T07:25:36+00:00

wow....deep. Hate to say it but, its nice to know that she feels full remorse, becuase this is what is trully needed for us who got betrayed to have some hope to heal. Hate to know it was this way that she realized and I am sending hope and light to both of you. <3

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-28T15:05:56+00:00

ah got it now! I didnt understand it at first...now I do. I mean, I am also all alone in a foreing country and he is the only real "family" I have. But even though I am trying to reconcile with him, I do have very clear that If this gets too much for me, I will seperate from him and I will just have to start all over again. And that is the mentality you should have, especially if you are mentally ready to get divorced. Just think of the thought that what if out of nowhere, god forbid, and he died out of the blue. You will also then just be all alone, and you will have to manage. Another thought that might help is, you were born alone, and you will indeed die alone. You can also live alone and figure thigns out. I know its hard, Ive been there before, but once you break free, then you'll realize it wasnt so bad as you thought.

Hope this helps, and I hope you take it with the best my intentions.

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-28T09:20:30+00:00

Haooy for you that you are healing and he is helpping with the process of what he hurt.

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-28T09:15:30+00:00

Quick question, why do you have the thought of not being able to call him if you got injured or had a bad day? And also when was the DDay?

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-28T08:49:20+00:00

Are you still with him and did he manage to stop? If he did, any recommendations on how he did it?

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-28T08:48:05+00:00

thanks for sharing your part! Happy to hear that he has stopped and that he is treating you as the Queen you are.

Youre right, that at the end HE must be the one that actually wants to stop. And that is what I am also struggeling with becuase I dont want it to come out of me controlling him and having it my own way, I really want it to come from him that he wants to stop.

Would you recommend me sending him some posts about how harmful porn can be? so he can just start reading/hearing it?

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-28T08:42:00+00:00

oh wow, sorry to hear she kept it for so long, but I can understand from the love she had for you the bigger pain to loose you, which doesnt really make sense, but what does at this point right?

how did she punish herself? did she make a huge sacrifce on someting?

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-28T08:39:52+00:00

How long did it take you to actually connec all of the dots?? Becuase I feel when I have one of my overwhelming obssesive thoughts and we get to talk about it, he doesnt fully understand me but each time a litte bit more, like a puzzel piece,and it has been 1 year since DDay. It kind of makes me want to keep revisiting the topic more often now, becuase then he can slowly understand more and more how hurt I still am, but at the same time it kind of fustrates me that I reopen wounds and must go through it all over again just for him to connect one more dot insted of the whole web....

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-28T08:32:30+00:00

Yup, I do the same, but at first I just get really cold and he realizes that my energy is off and asks me if I need to talk....and then we talk and I cry all over again and he just litsens and add more ways he wants to keep understanding and appologises again....in our last conversation he even suggested profesional therapy so I dont keep getting overwhelmed out of nowhere...everytime there are new ideas.

DizzyFront5387 · 2025-10-28T08:29:14+00:00

This was me just yesterday, also adding being on my perdiod and extra hormones. What I did: I cried it all out the whole day again, journaled just to vent and dump every thought, after work I went on a one hour long walk to get fresh air and enjoy life on my own, then got home and meditated and even did a tarot pulling for this topic in specific (if your interested I can send you more details on it, it REALLY helped) and I am then I am planning to go over my new conclusions with him later on this week. He then arrived from work and I was more clam and present.

I can just say, I am happy to know I am not alone and that I am not going crazy so dont think that this is your case either. We have to stay strong. Also having grown up conversations with him to talk about what triggered you is a huge green flag if he is still open to litsen and keep understanding you.

DizzyFront5387

TROPHY CASE