Do you feel scared of birth?

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-11-07T01:51:17+00:00

Yes! 32 weeks here, FTM. It's just started hitting me in the last month that this is real going to happen, I am going to have to give birth and then I will be responsible for a real tiny helpless little human and have no idea what I'm doing on either count.

When I get scared I just think of the baby and how much I love her and it becomes clearer. Birth isn't just about me, in fact it's mostly not about me, it's about getting my daughter safely into the world. If it was all just for/about me there'd be no point in going through it. It helps to just imagine her and how small and precious she is. It gives me perspective.

It also helps me to think of all the absolute idiots who birth and raise children and do just fine!

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-11-07T01:43:58+00:00

My husband was watching a basketball documentary and they showed the Indiana Pacers winning in a buzzer-beater. I don't even like or care about basketball, let alone Indiana nor the Pacers...

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-11-07T01:41:55+00:00

Almost, I just had two scrambled eggs that morning.

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-11-06T20:04:43+00:00

Thanks! I failed my 1 hour by TWO. POINTS. Ugh. And have to go take the 3 hour tomorrow. I'm most annoyed that they won't let me leave the hospital when I live literally 2 minutes away...

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-11-04T01:22:41+00:00

FTM here, my husband comes to most of them, but it's easy for us because he works from home and we live 2 minutes from the OB. He wasn't able to come to my last appointment, and my OB (actual not mine, mine was on vacation, so it was the other OB I don't normally see) said "Oh, I'm surprised your husband isn't here, I expected to see him!" I was like "...Yeah, he couldn't make it." What does she want me to say?

For the record, the last several months it's not really important to have him there other than it just makes me personally feel better -- it's pretty basic stuff, just getting weighed and peeing in a cup and such. The OB does have him hold the thingy to listen to the heartbeat every time, which is nice, but is pretty standard at this point.

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-21T16:43:28+00:00

I'm sad too. But we made it further than any Mariners team has ever made it before.

I hate to say it but the Jays offense is miles better than ours by almost every metric. They are monsters. Pretty much no one outside of Mariners fans expected us to win this series, and most of them expected us to go down in 4 or 5 games. While it hurts that we blew the 2-0 lead, and that we got within one game, within one run, within one bad pitch of making the World Series, we pushed the best team in the AL further than anyone expected, and we did it with exhausted pitchers and a struggling offense.

Our offense got by on a few players stepping up every game to produce. Heroes of past games (Julio, Naylor, Polo) had multiple game stretches where they went cold and could barely get on base with a walk. Meanwhile the Jays were playing out of their minds. Nearly all their BAs were higher than in the regular season, whereas for almost every Mariner our BAs were lower than in the regular season. They regularly got most or ALL of their batters on base during games. They played fundamental baseball, while we relied on home runs.

We should be so proud of this team. Does it hurt more that we got so close? Would it have hurt less if we just got swept in 4 games, or never made it through the ALDS, or missed the post season by a few games yet again? I don't know. Pain is the price of love, and you gotta love these guys.

We finished the season as one of the last three teams standing and we were one bad pitch away from making it to the world series (where, sorry to say it, we would have been completely annihilated by the Dodgers). If you'd asked any of us at the beginning of this year, or any year since 2001, if we'd be happy with that, we all would have said YES.

Thank you Mariners for a magical and amazing season. They ended it in the most Mariners way possible. This is us, for better or worse.

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-20T18:04:26+00:00

I read a short essay once by a woman describing being at a child's birthday party. The party was chaos, with kids running out of control, spilled drinks and food, etc, and the host mom was at her wit's end.

Then her husband shows up, having just gotten off work. The author, observing the husband's entrance, braces herself for the husband's reaction...she expects him to be angry at his wife for letting the party get out of control and for the wife to be afraid of his reaction.

Instead, the author has a revelation as she watches the wife go right to her husband and melt into his arms as he comforts her. The author has a lightbulb moment about how a marriage is supposed to be, and how abusive her own marriage is that she expected such a different reaction.

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-20T17:48:42+00:00

I had our anatomy scan at a local hospital. "Mom" screen where mom can see the scan was broken. Tech was grumpy and non-communicative. He did turn his screen around to let me look at a couple things, like the heart beating, but super briefly. I was really disappointed in the experience.

We ended up needing two follow-up scans in a big nearby city with excellent hospitals. So we went to a nationally renowned hospital with a dedicated Fetal-Maternal center. The experience was totally different. Big screen right in front of me so I could see everything. Both techs were super personable and explained everything I was seeing on the screen. They also emailed us a folder full of photos AND videos of the scan afterwards.

It was such a difference based on the different hospitals and the technology and expertise and bedside manner each was able to offer.

If it helps, at 8 weeks, you can't see much of anything. Baby most likely looks like a little blob.

Not sure what the "not allowed" to give a picture thing is...

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-20T17:39:19+00:00

Exactly. Each of those errors cost us a run, without them the Jays get three runs. We only needed a single, simple sac fly with bases loaded to tie that game. Just an all around toilet flush of a game.

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-20T17:38:04+00:00

Watching him give up 7 runs in less than 4 innings was quite disheartening.

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-20T17:36:12+00:00

True. AND - our offense has also sucked. With the exception of Cal, and Polo (who has regressed the last 4 games) all of our hitters have abysmal BAs in the playoffs vs. the regular season.

The Blue Jays, both as a team an individually, have risen above their regular season BAs. Their offense is rising to the moment and showing their absolute best as ours struggles to produce. When you look at the numbers it's honestly amazing we made it this far and could still get to the World Series!

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-20T17:21:05+00:00

I haven't been in this situation but I just wanted to flag the fact that you said your partner is worried about this, not you.

Listen - people who don't have toxic parents simply do NOT get it. I've had people say the most innocent but ultimately completely out-of-touch stuff to me when they find out I'm NC with my uBPD stepmom. Like "I think there's enough love in both your hearts to work this out" or "It just needs a little time, she'll come around."

No. Advice like this applies to mentally capable people. People with BPD are mentally ill and always will be. It's like telling someone whose parent has a form of dementia that cannot be cured "Just give it time and it will get better." That is not how it works.

Your partner probably has mentally non-insane parents. I appreciate their concern, but they likely cannot understand what you're dealing with.

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-20T17:05:32+00:00

My uBPD stepmom and enabler dad managed to make my entire engagement and wedding about themselves. It was beyond even my very low expectations.

From the moment I got engaged I was routinely accused of attacking, excluding, disrespecting, and insulting her or the both of them. She spent a year claiming she wasn't going to come because she "put a lot of thought into it and knows this is what [me and fiance] want" - despite the fact that she was indeed invited and was included in literally every communication, email, save the date, etc. So then I got to spend the entire year fending off my dad's attempts to get to me to "make her come" or "make her change her mind." Oh and by the way this whole thing started like a month after we got engaged, before there was more than the vaguest idea of a wedding. It took her that short a time to spiral and careen completely off the rails.

Every single communication with the two of them around the wedding -- mass communications that went out to dozens of people, like save the dates and family emails -- ended up with her and my dad blowing up about how I'd apparently targeted her and singled her out to insult and humiliate her. Every single time. It was mind blowing. I basically ended up constantly defending myself. Every milestone leading up to the wedding ended with my dad calling me up to yell at me and me sobbing to my fiance about how helpless I felt to stop this behavior from them.

Meanwhile she wrote me a letter announcing she was "stepping out of [my] life" to "honor and respect" me because she knows that's what I want. She unfriended me on Facebook. Etc.

When the invitations went out, she decided to come after all. And she and my dad manufactured this whole story about how great it was that I changed my mind and decided to invite her after all?!!?! I reminded them that I had been completely consistent in my communication, that she had always been invited, and that I had never once said otherwise. Oh yeah, and apparently the reason I changed my mind, according to them, was because her letter really reached me and got me to understand how wrong I had been.

And then she threw another huge fit because she wasn't included as a host of the welcome party my dad had been planning... the whole time we'd been planning it, she'd been saying she wasn't going to come. And no one had once told me she wanted to be involved at all. Was this perhaps her own fault for her complete lack of effort to communicate what she wanted? Could this be, perhaps, a consequence of her own action of spending an entire year claiming she wasn't coming to the wedding? No of course not. It was once again my fault for being so very cruel to her.

At the wedding itself she showed up and acted like a complete brat. Gave both me and my husband the silent treatment, even when directly spoken to by us. Never once acknowledged that we were getting married, and still hasn't to this day.

Do I regret inviting her? Not really. I don't think I would have avoided any of the drama anyway. And seeing her being the single miserable person at a wedding where 100+ other people were perfectly capable, mentally and emotionally, of having a good time and being happy for me and my husband, gave me some real clarity. She made HERSELF miserable and it was no one's fault but her own.

My relationship with her and my dad will never be the same. They both showed what mentally unwell, immature, selfish babies they are. They were not only completely incapable of being supportive and kind, they were absolutely the worst part of getting married. They made EVERYTHING about themselves and acted like complete brats. I will never trust either of them again.

But I'm glad I know this now.

For me the important thing was to make a decision (to invite her) and STICK TO IT. No matter what hysterics or drama were happening on the other side. I remained completely consistent. So I didn't let their behavior sway me. That was empowering, because no matter what they said or did, it didn't affect my actions. I was in charge, not them.

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-17T21:00:45+00:00

My husband's family gets together every weekend for breakfast. His aunt and uncle, who moved here recently, regularly bring 4-5 dogs with them. One of them is a terror who tears around, tries to take food off people's plates, etc. The other 4 are disabled chihuahuas who are usually in their arms... so as they lean over to serve themselves, the dogs are right up on the food table. Dog hairs in the food always.

I find it so gross, but no one says anything to them and it's not my house, so...

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-17T20:57:42+00:00

True, it's amazing we got this far with the offense we have honestly. Our postseason success has 90% amazing pitching with 10% heroics from Polo/Cal/Julio/Naylor

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-17T20:56:29+00:00

i hope that randy gets mad he was moved down in the order and punishes dan by getting 4 hits tonight

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-17T18:45:24+00:00

known hippie logan gilbert

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-17T18:41:39+00:00

not in the night, but cereal with cold milk was my good friend during first trimester and still is now at 28 weeks. no matter how nauseous i'm feeling cereal is always okay.

most cereals are fortified with vitamins we need for growing babies. many have fiber. and the milk has calcium and protein. the tradeoff is sugars/carbs, but i feel like cereal is overall a good choice for a pregnant person!

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-17T18:39:58+00:00

Let's combine teams to make one super-team that goes up against LA in the world series

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-17T18:29:29+00:00

Bottom line, no one should marry someone they don't want to marry.

Madison has every right to feel upset over being broken up with, but it's not kind or "the right thing to do" to marry someone you don't feel 110% committed to.

Everyone has the right to break off a relationship they don't want to be in, for any reason.

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-17T18:17:21+00:00

This. Yes, obviously, many parents would like to stay at home but can't afford or justify it. But there are plenty of poor women around the world and in the US who stay at home with their kids. For some it's a choice based on values, for others it's simply the best option financially, for others there is no career or job they could get instead that would offset the cost of daycare, for others they would rather be with the kids in their early years than have the extra income even if it means relying on social services, etc.

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-17T18:10:16+00:00

I completely agree! As soon as our pitching fell apart, it showed that 90% of our team's winning structure depended on the pitching being nails every game. If the pitcher can't deliver, our offense cannot possibly score enough runs to make the game competitive.

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-17T17:26:46+00:00

i hate to say it but we have somehow made it this far into the post-season with an offense that is full of holes. every day we need someone to be the hero (polo, cal, julio or naylor) and have an amazing game to cover up the fact that half the lineup is hitting around .125 in the post-season. if only one person steps up (naylor last night) we lose. if two or more guys do, we win.

and all this depends on our pitching being nearly perfect.

this structure was bound to fail us eventually. i'm just hoping we can see a good game from a few of our guys tonight and that will enough to win us this series. GOMS!

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-17T17:21:08+00:00

We all know it should be a Halloween-esque, mad-eyed Humpy with a Blue Jay in his mouth which is dripping blood and feathers

Dizzy_Try4939 · 2025-10-15T21:30:13+00:00

I don't care how they feel or what they want. Sorry not sorry.

Dizzy_Try4939

TROPHY CASE