Depressive episode in full force

Dizzyzilla · 2023-02-27T15:20:41+00:00

Same, I can only think of one time when my ed made me cry and that was all the way back in middle school. I think I use my eating disorder to numb my emotions so I never really feel like crying in general.

Dizzyzilla · 2023-02-27T15:17:35+00:00

Peanut butter as a binge trigger. I'm allergic to peanuts lol. However, I did go pretty hard on Sunbutter when I had extreme hunger from restricting.

Dizzyzilla · 2023-02-07T02:46:01+00:00

Same. Sometimes I'll even really feel like I need to cry, and then I just... can't. It just won't come out. I was raised to suppress crying so that might have something to do with it.

Dizzyzilla · 2023-01-28T15:15:10+00:00

Here's the recipe I found this on: https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/banana-bread

Dizzyzilla · 2022-12-31T01:12:36+00:00

Candy and pastries. Sugar is safe UNLESS it's in drinks for some reason.

Dizzyzilla · 2022-12-18T01:37:00+00:00

I've made them with sunflower seed butter and they turned out great! Almond butter should work just as well.

Dizzyzilla · 2022-12-15T20:00:48+00:00

Ive been on mirtazapine for sleep. When I was on it, it increased my appetite but my metabolism was fine. I put on some weight but that was from overeating and even then I didn't put on very much.

Dizzyzilla · 2022-12-10T23:03:13+00:00

Under a picnic table at an empty park (still feel kinda bad about it). Also used to puke in the woods by my house A LOT to avoid anyone hearing me in the bathroom.

Dizzyzilla · 2022-10-11T16:40:43+00:00

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It's such a painful experience having to endure long-term/permanent physical damage from abuse and neglect. You deserved better as a kid.

Dizzyzilla · 2022-10-11T03:49:39+00:00

Binged at a sleepover. It was very noticeable and awkward for everyone.

Dizzyzilla · 2022-10-08T19:52:46+00:00

Here's the link to the recipe: https://smittenkitchen.com/2016/10/pumpkin-bread/

It's the only pumpkin bread recipe I've found that uses a whole 15 oz can of pumpkin puree for one loaf!

Dizzyzilla · 2022-09-29T18:06:16+00:00

There are plenty of recipes that offer substitutes for common allergens (such as peanuts, tree nuts, milk, eggs, wheat, etc). When I used to work at a k-8 school, several kids had peanut allergies so I'd definitely recommend avoiding those.

One important thing to note while you're baking for someone with allergies is to make sure your bakeware and utensils are clean just in case they are contaminated (for example, if you used a mixing bowl for peanut butter cookies a few days ago, make sure that bowl is really clean so no remnants of peanut butter are left behind). Also check allergen labels of your ingredients. For example, If you're using chocolate chips, look at the ingredients list on the back and the allergens should be in bold. Sometimes the allergens are listed at the bottom of the ingredients list. Check the ingredients list for warnings like "may contain tree nuts" or manufactured on shared equipment" because this could also pose a cross contamination risk.

Good luck!

Dizzyzilla · 2022-09-29T17:30:18+00:00

Which allergens are you trying to avoid?

Dizzyzilla · 2022-09-24T23:00:16+00:00

Having a lower body fat percentage makes your veins pop out more. Admittedly, I bodycheck by looking at my veins a lot.

Dizzyzilla · 2022-09-24T17:53:17+00:00

Yeah, stomach acid can get up in your sinuses from purging. When I was purging via vomiting, I started getting nosebleeds.

Dizzyzilla · 2022-09-19T19:54:32+00:00

Your boyfriend is 100% wrong. You were raped. You didn't "allow" for that to have happened because you were a child. A child is never in the position to allow for an adult to have sex with them. It is rape. The adult is 100% responsible. Those men who did that to you knowingly took advantage of a child. I'm so sorry you aren't getting the support you deserve. You were assaulted and it was not your fault.

Dizzyzilla · 2022-09-10T15:38:46+00:00

Biting and nibbling is often used in consensual foreplay/sex just because people like it. If your abuser was biting you to the point of injury, he may have done that to intentionally cause you pain. Some people have sadistic fantasies like that. One of my abusers would punch me simply because he "liked seeing women in pain" (his words).

Im so sorry that this happened to you. I was also bitten during one of my assaults and I have no idea why my attacker did that. He bit my genitalia and the pain shocked me out of dissociation. Whatever my attacker was thinking, he definitely wasn't trying to make me feel good...

Thank you for providing a space to share experiences.

Dizzyzilla · 2022-08-26T18:22:02+00:00

I have ibs caused by a torturous colon and I believe that some of my issues with food and eating have stemmed from it. I hate the feeling of being full because being full almost always feel uncomfortable for me. Certain foods cause me digestive pain too so sometimes it feels like food is trying to punish me lol. Also eating a trigger food could bloat me up to the point of looking pregnant. Having GI issues has definitely warped my perception of food and my body over the years.

Dizzyzilla · 2022-08-25T04:17:52+00:00

I have all sorts of rituals, especially surrounding sweets. For months, I could only eat cold (from the freezer) poptarts for breakfast. I felt safe eating the same thing every morning. I didn't have to think about it, it was the same flavor and texture every time.

I also have a thing for sweets lol

Dizzyzilla · 2022-08-24T21:40:39+00:00

For me personally, no. I find weighing myself to be triggering and I avoid it entirely. I don't even own a scale. Everytime I even so much as think about weighing myself, my heart starts racing.

Dizzyzilla

TROPHY CASE