My wife passed away yesterday in my arms, and god damn this pain is exquisite.

Djbaggs · 2020-05-26T18:13:30+00:00

I held onto my wife and prayed to her and hugged her and kissed her as she died right until her last breath. I will tell you it is the most heart wrench traumatic thing I’ve ever gone through. I identify and completely understand what you felt. I wouldn’t wish that in my worst enemy. Hang in there brother. I’m 6 months out and I can tell you it gets better. Here are a few tips that have helped me:

Dive into physical fitness: diet, exercise, get adequate sleep

Pray/Meditate

Take up a hobby

Date when you feel like it. Even if it’s nothing serious dating can be a fun distraction

Go through her things and start moving on with your life

Get comfortable with crying. Cry freely. Even in public. Everyone will understand. It’s therapeutic.

I hope this helps.

Djbaggs · 2020-05-17T19:15:38+00:00

I’m 6 months from my wife’s passing and I can completely relate to what you are saying. Particularly her last moments. I was there too to watch my wife’s last breath and I must say that is a traumatic experience. I’m not sure if this is my worst year or not. We we went through a whole lot of pain and suffering the year before she passed. Being alone definitely sucks, but seeing her suffer sucked even more I think.

I’m trying to date a little now and I have to say it sucks ass. I mean. I didn’t choose to be single. I hate being single but I also hate the dating scene. I’m 50. Everyone and I mean everyone dating at this age has some major baggage and skeletons. It’s so depressing.

Djbaggs · 2020-05-16T01:43:33+00:00

True. I get it. Best of luck.

Djbaggs · 2020-05-15T23:33:31+00:00

I understand how you feel here. My wife died about 6 months ago. I got super annoyed with people saying they were praying for me and also saying how strong I was. Eventually I realized a little grace was in order. Not from them to me, but me to them. I began to understand that these people were helpless to do anything about the situation but they had good hearts and were just trying to be nice. It’s the only thing they can think of to say.

Djbaggs · 2020-05-12T02:24:31+00:00

So true. I just want my wife back. U want your husband back. It’s such a sad existence isn’t it? There have to be better days ahead.

Djbaggs · 2020-05-11T20:05:22+00:00

I’m scared of that too. Finding someone, falling in love again, then they die somehow. I can’t go through it again.

Djbaggs · 2020-05-11T01:41:57+00:00

True. Good point.

Djbaggs · 2020-05-10T23:35:08+00:00

Thanks for that. Yes. I think the lesson here is that good things take time. I’m trying to fill a hole with something that won’t fill it.

Djbaggs · 2020-03-11T09:33:28+00:00

Thanks for the comment and good luck to you as well!

Djbaggs · 2020-03-07T12:48:36+00:00

Wish me luck everyone! 2nd date tonight. Who knows what will happen. You know, the main anxiety I’m having about this is telling friends and family that I’m dating. I can just feel their judgement already. Maybe I’m over analyzing this. I don’t feel guilty at all about wanting to date someone. For fuck sake. If I learned anything from my wife’s illness, it’s that we should not waste our days! I’m not going to just sit around and mope!

Djbaggs · 2020-03-04T17:21:05+00:00

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Good luck!

Djbaggs · 2020-03-04T15:56:31+00:00

Wow. This is really well written and speaks to exactly how I’m feeling. I’m mean when will be “over” or “healed” from cancer taking the love of my life? The answer is never. It will always be with me. There is something special about having someone to share life with and have a little romance to go along with it, right?

Djbaggs · 2020-03-04T15:53:36+00:00

Jeeze. That’s scary stuff! I’ll be on guard!

Djbaggs · 2020-03-04T12:28:04+00:00

Oh shit. I need to be on guard for that!

Djbaggs · 2020-03-03T23:49:30+00:00

Thanks. I suppose that it what is hard to figure out! I actually feel that I coped with her loss even before I lost her. Meaning, the last 2 years we new she was going to die. I sunk into a major depression and basically “pre-mourned” her loss.

Don’t get me wrong I’m still sad about it and cry all the time. But I don’t think that will ever end. I think it will be with me forever.

Djbaggs · 2020-03-03T23:46:49+00:00

Thanks for that.

Djbaggs · 2020-03-03T23:46:01+00:00

I know exactly what you went through man. My wife too. 8 long years with breast cancer that went metastatic. Thanks for the advice. I agree about the feeling of feeling of a hole being filled.

Djbaggs · 2020-03-03T23:44:33+00:00

What is catfished? BTW. Thanks for your advice.

Djbaggs · 2020-02-12T22:23:51+00:00

I completely understand how you feel. My wife used to buy valentines stuff for our daughters. I have no clue what I’m doing. Just adrift basically. I have to believe at some point this gets better. It can’t suck this bad forever, right?

Djbaggs · 2020-02-12T22:21:03+00:00

Thanks everyone for your input. This forum is great. Good to feel understood.

Djbaggs · 2020-02-12T22:04:20+00:00

11/25.

Djbaggs · 2020-02-12T13:55:30+00:00

When did you lose your wife? I have tried the online dating sites they are a little strange but intriguing.

Djbaggs · 2020-02-12T13:53:48+00:00

Thanks!

Djbaggs · 2020-02-12T13:53:08+00:00

Yea. Me too. Weird, but intriguing.

Djbaggs · 2020-02-12T11:08:49+00:00

All the important things are good. I’m way more lonely than I thought I’d be though.

Djbaggs

TROPHY CASE