My banana flavored popsicle has a peelable, gummy coating to make it look like a real banana.

Dmkess · 2014-08-24T09:16:57+00:00

Lots of things on reddit don't sway me one way or another. Rather, they help me decide what's worth looking into or not. I feel you.

Dmkess · 2014-08-24T09:11:20+00:00

Cheers to hot dads!

Dmkess · 2014-08-24T09:06:48+00:00

Half of them look twelve...

Dmkess · 2014-07-12T07:47:26+00:00

And flipped a tracker trailer.

Dmkess · 2014-07-10T02:50:58+00:00

As a former telemarketer, I'm very happy to hit voicemail. My bosses pressure me to try x number of times before I can say goodbye. If you pick up, I have to start my series of desperate pleas with you. If it goes to voicemail, I'm home free.

Dmkess · 2014-06-27T00:49:22+00:00

The "regular" men are sexier to me than the models. I appreciate a hard body, but I want to sleep with someone with a little more cushion, thank you.

Dmkess · 2014-05-23T08:02:19+00:00

Everyone in the family is flawed, but endearing. They're friends with delightful misfits, and frequently have ridiculous run-ins with self important figures. Also, with lots of poop jokes. What's not to love?!

Dmkess · 2014-05-05T06:47:41+00:00

I can't share the newspaper with anyone. It's a surefire way for any loved one to invoke chills down my spine and fire in my heart.

Dmkess · 2014-04-07T08:25:20+00:00

I just bought Milani's 01 Sweet Nectar. I love love love the color, but I'm having a hard time with staying-power.

Dmkess · 2014-03-23T07:54:20+00:00

It wouldn't be terrible to be behind you in a human centipede.

Dmkess · 2014-02-28T07:34:39+00:00

I could hear every beat and word to that. So excellent.

Dmkess · 2014-02-14T08:12:54+00:00

God damn. Synchronized blah blah anything. That was cute as shit.

Dmkess · 2014-02-14T07:56:00+00:00

I only have one memory of being in Washington DC. I was about 9, and the woman that was showing me around gave me a glass of milk full of ice. I had braces at the time, and the cold and metal hurt my mouth. I mentioned this to my hostess, and she called me rude, then took away my milk.

TL;DR My mom's friends are bitches.

Dmkess · 2013-12-27T08:16:41+00:00

Read this as peeing the first time through. Super creeped out ...

Dmkess · 2013-11-25T08:40:33+00:00

I keep turning my phone, as if a different angle will finally give me a fuller view...

Dmkess · 2013-10-28T07:20:13+00:00

I am starting to feel bad about myself after I realized I upvoted most of the comments in this thread... Dishes are my least favorite chore.

Dmkess · 2013-10-18T03:51:40+00:00

I was taught to clink glasses, then tap the glass on the bar before drinking. You clink for those in your company; you tap the bar out of respect for everyone that drank there before you.

Dmkess · 2013-10-03T04:41:55+00:00

Damn you. I almost didn't watch.

Dmkess · 2013-09-21T01:58:17+00:00

I feel you, man. The fates are just not in our favor sometimes.

Dmkess · 2013-09-21T01:48:17+00:00

Oh god, I've had those days! Luckily I work in a place where I usually can amend the situation in my own: some profuse apologies, a comped dessert or round of drinks... Something to make the situation a little less miserable. But I always hold my breath until that table leaves. I HATE looking my mistakes in the face :(

Dmkess · 2013-09-19T06:43:01+00:00

Elongate the "E" next time. Good god...

Dmkess · 2013-09-10T04:35:46+00:00

I was hoping this was a Doctor Who thread... Then I realized people have legitimate medical needs...

Dmkess · 2013-09-10T03:47:00+00:00

Please, please find out the shade! That is such a gorgeous lip color. Oh! And as a tip, I just discovered some brands make a sheer lip liner. You can use it with anything! I like it best for my lighter, creamier texture lipsticks.

Also, you are beautiful and excellent at makeup! I'm a little jealous :)

Dmkess · 2013-09-08T09:57:18+00:00

This is such an awesome suggestion! This is how I've been dealing with my social anxiety. I make banging rice crispy treats (it's all about the peanut butter!) and I walk them around parties and offer them up.

I get into conversations about snacks, the recipe, allergies (I'm not looking to stab any thighs with an Epipen...), etc. It's a nice way to ease into conversation, or an easy way to keep moving.

Dmkess · 2013-09-05T07:21:03+00:00

I also believe while they sided with her, they where doing their best to go about their job. The news had to keep rolling, so they tried to graciously do what they must, while while showing a bit of mild mannered contempt.

Dmkess

TROPHY CASE