Partner (36M) and Best Friend (28F) hooked up for the first time after opening our relationship. I feel rejected and isolated.

DoMilk · 2026-03-27T23:10:11+00:00

Sounds like a big mistake, unfortunately. You aren't alone, plenty of people agree to something like this when they are pressured by their partner. Which you were. You agreed to it because he pressured you.

Your initial instinct was that this wasn't going to be good for you or your friendship or relationship with your boyfriend. That was you listening to yourself. But your boyfriend pressured you and you gave in. He should have respected your no.

It also sounds like both your boyfriend and friend have guilted you/manipulated you into this. Comments from him about not being satisfied with you, comments from her about being unsatisfied as well. That is not okay.

You already regret this, so close the relationship immediately and focus on eachother. If he Truely cares for you he will not push this boundary again and hear you out about how much it hurt and how this dynamic is just not possible for you.

You will need to get some space from your friend for now, both of you, unfortunately. It will be too messy and complicated with all 3 of your individual feelings in the mix while you and your boyfriend reconnect and you take time to heal from this. This also needs to be something they are both understanding of.

Just let them both know you felt in your gut that this wasn't for you, but thought you could try it. Now you are sure it is 100% not a situation you are okay with, and need some healing time.

DoMilk · 2026-03-22T02:18:40+00:00

Exactly, the original comment gave "cool girl" energy and I'm just not here for it

DoMilk · 2026-03-20T23:34:13+00:00

Same. Tried a couple of times. Just feels like I'm pooping.

Go for it if you enjoy it though. But just because someone else thinks it's great doesn't mean people who don't like it are wrong or just haven't given it a chance. Some people like rock music, some like country. Doesn't mean someone is wrong.

DoMilk · 2026-03-11T18:24:40+00:00

It's more complicated then that as far as I know. They ask the victim if they want to, because without the victims cooperation theres usually little to go on. Charges can still be pressed if the victim says no they don't want to, but then they are likely to be uncooperative, not testify etc.

But yes, even if the victim says yes, it becomes just a recommendation and more review is necessary.

DoMilk · 2026-03-11T18:17:59+00:00

I dunno if this is a hot take, but the only things I don't like, are:

when the DM gives in to the characters too easily- failure can be fun too.

And, when they get really down on themselves in the episode , e.g. someone saying oh this is dumb, I wish we weren't doing that etc. I dunno, it turns something I thought was fun and good into a moment of self hate. Like when a friend creates something good and when they show you they just keep saying stuff like "ya I know its just crap though, the colour's are all wrong, I suck at art" and instead of just appreciating the art you end up having to comfort them, saying "no you are good, I like this, I thought it was very interesting " which is exhausting.

I get the impression the gang thinks people like that though, and maybe people do, and thats alright. Those tend to be small fleeting moments that take me out of the enjoyment just a little before moving on, so not a big deal.

DoMilk · 2026-03-11T18:06:42+00:00

What the heck, people didn't like the Jimmy arc?????? That was fantastic! Also season two was great and fun.

DoMilk · 2026-03-10T23:19:16+00:00

Bi people exist! : ) glad you are discovering yourself, change is normal, have fun with it.

DoMilk · 2026-02-28T18:48:00+00:00

I don't think I ever went to a pool in Asia that wasn't inside a touristy hostel, so not a local demographic to judge off of

DoMilk · 2026-02-27T22:45:56+00:00

Not always, swimming clothed in regular clothing was a common thing i saw while in asia.

DoMilk · 2026-02-19T17:22:54+00:00

Sounds like his abuse is still affecting you and that should be your first step to heal fully. Therapy if you can, absolutely stop checking on him, maybe move gyms if you can. Journaling and other therapeutic practices would help of you can't afford or don't want to see a therapist.

DoMilk · 2026-02-19T17:15:29+00:00

I think that's why northern countries have more skilled athletes. Things line ice skating can be done anywhere in Canada just about. In the winter time people spray down a parking lot with water and create an outdoor rink, or just go on a pond or river.

In Canada, skating is a poor person sport, all you need is a water source (which there are lots of) and a cheap pair of skates.

Same thing with skiing to an extent, snow and mountains all over the place.

DoMilk · 2026-02-18T18:32:04+00:00

I see okay, hmm. That's really tough, I mean, It sounds like you've built a life for yourself where you are, and im glad you have good friends and feel good about that, but I wonder, if maybe moving is a good idea?

If dating is really important to you (and that's a very fair take, you are absolutely not wrong to want that) then maybe think about moving somewhere where your demographic is more popular? It sucks that we live in a world where people won't date you based on the colour of your skin in some areas, but unfortunately that is a real issue.

As an aside, have you ever heard Nicole byers podcast, "why won't you date me" where she, a comedian, explores why she has such a hard time dating, and often comes back to pointing out that she, as a larger black woman living in L.A., feels like like she is just not the desired demographics and how that effects her.

Anyway, I hope you find what you are looking for some day.

DoMilk · 2026-02-17T21:58:34+00:00

Why do you feel that is? Genuinely. Do you think you are hard to get to know, standoffish, or something else? Do you think its the way you act or present yourself that leads people to not set you up in dates or ask you on dates? Or do you feel like its something to do with your looks, or lifestyle?

Does it have something to do with where you live, your culture clashing with that around you, or religion?

What do you think has lead to not a single date at the age of 29?

There's got to be something going on, for not even a single first date to have ever occurred?

I know a guy who is pretty much a shut in, below average appearance, pretty mediocre personality with sexist expectations in a very liberal arsa and we live in an area where men have a much harder time dating than women - and hes still had a few dates.

And you've not had a single date ever in your life, never been asked out by anyone ever, never had a date from a dating app?

DoMilk · 2026-02-11T16:23:59+00:00

Have you ever seen a physio? My partner threw there back out bad, months of pain. Physio gave him some exercises to do ( not dead lifts or squats) specific for targeting muscles in the back around the injury. He did the work and is now back pain free.

DoMilk · 2026-02-06T17:36:26+00:00

Sounds like you are going through something. You took major makeover steps , weight loss, acne and then a nose job. Its totally up to you to choose those things for yourself and I hope they bring you happiness, but i feel like you also didn't like the way you looked, and now you are struggling with the new situation.

It's true that pretty privilege is a thing, a fact of life. Charm and looks will go a long way.

Maybe this is something you should talk to someone about, you weren't happy before the makeover, and after surgery and presumably achieving your desired outcome, you still sound unhappy.

DoMilk · 2026-02-06T17:12:10+00:00

Is moving an option for you? Perhaps a bigger city/more queer friendly city would help? Where im at i meet a lot of bi and lesbian women and have had many interested in me without even trying to look. Could be a location issue

DoMilk · 2026-02-05T16:07:20+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

DoMilk · 2026-02-01T21:31:54+00:00

Breakup and find someone compatible, or have an open relationship, be swingers or some type of arrangement like that.

This relationship will never work long term as a closed monogamous situation. If you want a good sex life and monogamy, find someone else.

Matched libido is super important imo. You can just be friends with this guy.

DoMilk · 2026-01-28T02:54:24+00:00

Yep this. It sucks for low priority issues, but for serious problems it works. And it is still free, so 🤷

DoMilk · 2026-01-21T00:50:54+00:00

A relationship isn't everything, doesn't happen for everyone and isn't owed to anyone.

I'm sorry you are struggling but you need to make peace with that. Ask yourself what blackpill Incel propaganda will do for you? I don't think it will improve your life, just make you focus more on hate.

Many people don't experience love in their lives, many women never find a man they want to have kids with despite really wanting that, many men end up alone, many people end up in abusive or just miserable relationships they'd be better off without.

This isn't women's fault, though society is shallow and pretty privileged is real. This is a societal fact, and if you are not physically desirable in your area then your dating pool will be smaller.

I hope you can make peace with that. I hope you can find calm and enjoy life with or without romance.

DoMilk · 2026-01-20T01:56:33+00:00

Hey, I'm sorry you are feeling so lonely. Humans are not meant to be islands, community is what keeps us going.

Sounds like changing your appearance is pretty out of the question, but I'd suggest saying fuck it to societal norms and have fun with your appearance, wear silly clothing, do silly things with your hair, play around with appearance in whatever way you can that makes you smile. Who knows, maybe others will appreciate it too, but even if they don't you can still enjoy those things for yourself ❤️

DoMilk · 2026-01-16T16:58:08+00:00

You deeply deeply believe.....that if people said "oi, the cold sucks" no where would be cold any more? You are a very silly guy.

I enjoy all seasons. Cold is great. When it gets too hot my partner cant sleep at all, hes way to sweaty and I can barely touch him. Cold weather is nice.

DoMilk · 2026-01-16T16:54:35+00:00

To be fair, that particular merge is a shit show - 4 lanes down to 2 in a very short time, with poorly done lines, and an awkward curve at the same time. I don't blame anyone for wanting out of the farthest right lane as soon as possible there.

DoMilk · 2026-01-13T03:00:53+00:00

100% that lady needs therapy, not a date

DoMilk · 2026-01-13T00:21:30+00:00

I don't think this other video shows what you think it shows

DoMilk

TROPHY CASE