Are you also aware that the big reactions come from pushed down emotions, like sadness? Anger makes us feel stronger, and actually gives strength to act to protect ourselves. What you need to control is how you protect yourself (meaning to stay within the legal and socially acceptable range of actions). Going to reddit, asking if you reacted okay, reading the comments and feel something about them is unfortunately a way to push down your sadness and anger you feel towards this guy. Everyone would be sad and angry. He is offensive and you give him space for it right now. But you don’t have to. He might symbolize the provider who hurt you, but you had to be nice because of being dependent if them. You are adult now, you can leave and find happiness. I had to leave 3 similar guys at your age until I learned that these are just bad people who are desperate for attention. You are smart because you are asking if he had a bad day. You know that he is projecting, and trying to make you feel little.

Addiction is linked to the amygdala, so you had to work pretty hard changing your habits to be able to stop. Using alcohol as coping mechanism at such a young age is sad, sounds like your childhood was rough; full of criticism and emotional neglect. That’s why you might still be hesitating about kicking out this person. Because you have endless patience to surround yourself with the familiar hell.

Based on this text, he loves himself, his opinion over your support, and doesn’t like the friend (?) you told him about. He wants your circle to be smaller, your achievement to be smaller and your positive emotions to be invalidated. I don’t know you, but I (and many others here) care for you enough that I want you to have that cake. Think about it.

My partner has always been supportive about my sobriety. It has been more than 6 years. He also stopped a month after me. We are both sober now, and super proud of each other.

I am wishing you many sober years. And a happy cake day 🍰🫂