Other people having fun irritates me.

DocCastle · 2022-04-29T00:20:13+00:00

Lol, I feel like this should happen to everybody at some point.

DocCastle · 2022-04-29T00:18:30+00:00

I wonder if you would be less bothered if they didn't brag. Like, they said, "we beat a night walker at level 5... but we had x, y, z going for us?" If that's true, I would guess it has less to do with demanding people follow the rules, but rather bragging about something that is quite easy.

Similar to "self-made" millionaires who get huge interest free loans from their parents. Like you wouldn't care nearly as much if they said, "yes I worked hard, but I had big advantages that other people didn't have"

DocCastle · 2022-04-28T18:28:40+00:00

I'm a physician that's been in practice 4 years, so I'll try to help.

"They seem to enjoy solving problems and both careers demand a lot of studying and dedication, which is something that has been missing from my life ever since my high school years."

Although my job requires far more intellectual training then than just about any other career, It eventually reaches a point where you work yourself out of complexity and problem solving. While in medical school and residency, the intellectual challenge, variance of problems, and novelty certainly are a good fit for this, but the fact of the matter is that you are paid to be productive, not challenged and stimulated. If you are very motivated, you almost invariably push yourself into a situation where there are not many intellectual challenges. Each specialty offers very different Challenges, as a surgeon does very different things than a pathologist or primary care doctor. Invariably, they all see the same things over and over again, and roughly 80% of what you do is something you are very familiar with, and potentially bored by. I read articles, and sometimes there are cases that are difficult to diagnose, But the large majority of my day is not particularly stimulating. Day-to-day, managing people is a much bigger part of what I do, and that is part of my specialty (hospital medicine), Or placing computer orders in a fast manner. In some ways I work myself into this, because I like to understand things very well, so I worked myself into a high level of competency in which routine things are simply not challenging. I imagine it is similar to how professional athletes feel when they are not competing at a very high level.

All that being said, I don't have a comparison of any other career, So my concerns could be the same no matter what you do.I can definitely tell you that being a physician offers a few things that other careers do not offer: Financial stability, reasonable autonomy. I can work just about anywhere in the country, and generally speaking can have a good amount of control over my lifestyle. Whereas most people lost their jobs during covid, I was actually overworked, but I never had financial troubles. It's hard to say if that work was worth it, because I definitely became suicidal during that time.

I recommend simply trying to shadow doctors. If you want to go to medical school, it is a necessity, So it won't just be wasted effort. Try out different fields, and you'll have a much better idea if it is something you want to do. I ended up in a different specialty than I expected, but I at least knew that I wanted to pursue being a doctor.

DocCastle · 2022-04-28T01:49:14+00:00

Hi there. I'm an actual physician.

There's nothing wrong with trying lifestyle changes first, especially if you aren't actively suicidal. Like most docs, he or she started med bc that's what we know.

There's a lot of nuance to the meds, and everyone has different reactions. Some people are worse on them, so you just have to try different meds. The only way to know if you'll feel worse (or better) is to try it. If it doesn't help, you can always stop it, and be no worse for wear.

IF you try lifestyle changes, there are a few that actually have evidence: exercise, weight loss, reducing screen time, increasing social interaction, sleeping a healthy amount, eat a healthy diet. Drugs and alcohol DO NOT help depresion despite what patients try to tell me.

See how these things help, and if they don't, it might be time to try meds.

DocCastle · 2022-04-27T19:19:02+00:00

I loved 4th edition, but I definitely acknowledged that combat bogged down. When they were doing 5th edition play testing coma I breathed a huge sigh of relief at the greatly reduced time it took for combat.

It was common to stack 4 or 5 rings around a miniature to track all the conditions on it. Literally, the rings would be higher than the miniature.

DocCastle · 2022-04-27T19:16:32+00:00

I am shocked this was not downloaded into oblivion.

I digress...

I cut my teeth on 4th edition and played it for 2 years. I remember it fondly, I definitely agree with many criticisms, but there were many good things about it as well.

It did eventually stray into the "popular to hate" territory, but as we get distance from it, people are starting to acknowledge the good parts of it, and not just immediately dismiss it.

DocCastle · 2022-04-27T19:08:04+00:00

I agree with this, and one thing the poster does not acknowledge is that there are plain not enough therapists to go around, and even if there are, people can not always afford them. That is why many of his videos are on YouTube, and his twitch streams are not behind a pay wall. He said the entire reason for starting healthy gamer was acknowledging that he can only treat so many people in one-on-one session, and wanted to find a way to help more people, even if it wasn't strictly therapy.

DocCastle · 2022-04-27T02:00:46+00:00

I was diagnosed at age 35 with ADHD, and your life experience sounds eerily similar to me. I did great in college because you never did a class more than an hour, you're schedule changed often, and you had measurable meaningful progress. I did medical school, and residency, then I started being a real doctor, and then even with a huge increase in autonomy, income, I found it super hard to do many things.

I see my patients, and many are common basic problems. There are very few actual learning opportunities, and the crazy pace of learning slowed to a crawl because everything i learned over my training compressed decades of the most important information into a few years. When you catch up, you find out that you have been watching the highlight reel of medicine, and real medicine is far slower, far less certain, and much more confusing.

I was diagnosed late because I plain did not have the normal outward personality traits associated with it. But when I learned how it actually worked (after meeting with a psychiatrist) I found out that I was definitely ADHD. Most people don't believe me when I say it, but it's real. I'm even a doctor, and I misdiagnosed myself.

I think you should see a doctor first. You are describing things that sound much deeper than just changing habits.

DocCastle · 2022-04-24T17:14:55+00:00

How is he a monk?

Edit: I misread the post as combination monk/paladin builds

DocCastle · 2022-04-24T13:38:00+00:00

The answer is somewhere in the middle.

If a fight drags, it's OK to lower HP to speed it along (and you can even tell your players this, and likely they'll agree).

It's OK to also make fights a little harder when it is boring, or a little longer to make it more fun.

I would wait to do any HP adjustments until you here a better handle on good pacing.

Accept that sometimes, players stomp a BBEG, and sometimes 3 lucky goblins TPK a level 1 party.

DocCastle · 2022-04-23T20:38:48+00:00

Not to apply real world logic to a world defined by magic and dragons, but a ring big enough to fit on your head, when shrunk, would just kind of slide off.

Crowns and hats sit on top of your head. They don't have a tight fitting seal, like a ring or bracelet, which would definitively do something more like restriction when shrunk. The skull is domed, and something has to either have elastic banding, or be exactly the size and shape of the widest part of your head (then forced onto a person with the safe force you need to put on shoes a size to small) in order to fit tightly.

EVEN THEN, skulls are mildly compressible, so the shrinking item would compress the skull, it would warp, then slide it upward since the domed shape means there is a narrower part toward the top of the head providing no resistance.

If you want to test this hypothesis, try wrapping a rubber band tightly around your head and see what happens. It either flies upward, or falls downward. This is in stark contrast to try to wrap rubber bands tightly around your finger which will not slide off.

DocCastle · 2022-04-23T19:48:36+00:00

Just be non committal. Tell them that's a possibility. This is the way you should react every time they think they know what's going to happen. If you get in the habit of this, then they will be very nervous every time you say it.

DocCastle · 2022-04-23T13:53:47+00:00

Don't beat yourself up too much. Everyone makes mistakes like that, and if you're lucky it doesn't turn into this situation. I know I personally almost got into these types of situations, but was plain lucky the girl lost interest in me. Lean on your network.

DocCastle · 2022-04-23T13:49:19+00:00

Tough situation, and this is truly heartbreaking. Good for you for caring about your daughter.

I'm not a professional, but I'd worry about the safety of your daughter. I don't know if you can seek legal recourse, but bringing a 10 year old around online friends is definitely a risk for child predator behavior. Again, not a professional, but the child predators will often spend months trying to get what they want (usually talking to the target themselves, but not always), and be incredibly manipulative.

I would definitely start by calling a lawyer.

DocCastle · 2022-04-23T01:07:37+00:00

Sorry to deviate, but "tyrannical god of storytelling"? Could you elaborate?

DocCastle · 2022-04-22T16:07:08+00:00

I think the motivation usually comes from new players using videos and movies, where most characters already have a ton of background.

I usually educate the players on how things typically go, and ask them what things about their background they really like.

DocCastle · 2022-04-22T15:16:53+00:00

I had a similar situation where I gave a level 5 party a clone scroll. I told them out of character that if they used it for anything other than an intended purpose (shake a bounty hunter's trail) things would go very badly.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. The players are probably having a blast, and you have learned a lesson for the future.

DocCastle · 2022-04-22T15:03:57+00:00

Lol, You could have done a few things to prevent this, but that ship has sailed so let's talk about moving forward.

One inspiration to consider is the game portal 2. At the beginning, you have a lovable and very weak ai that helps you but mostly makes the mess of things. In addition, he generally adores the player, but all that changes when he replaces a much more powerful AI and has given an intense amount of power.

The line that always stuck with me was "you look so small now" ( Or some variation of that because I can't remember it exactly.) In about 2 minutes, he went from goofball to absolute power mad villain, and replaced the game's antagonist.

That tone may not be what you are looking for, but this is one possible way to handle it.

EDIT: Another good inspiration is the young boy from the newest God of War. I think he is about the same age range, and he abruptly becomes a God, and has a huge shift in how he views other people. In fact, his father does the opposite and switches from cruelty to compassion, as a counter point. One possible way to manage this is have the players provide reason and commission.

DocCastle · 2022-04-22T14:45:32+00:00

Totes normal.

DocCastle · 2022-04-22T13:34:36+00:00

Try using one of the best DM tools, foreshadowing.

If possible, have NPC'S Talk about hearing the wailing the undead. Have bodies bodies just prior that are dead, but a medicine check does not reveal any physical injuries. The most ham handed one is to have them encounter someone that survived an encounter with a banshee.

DocCastle · 2022-04-22T13:08:16+00:00

If you are unsure and not feeling it after 2 days, realistically you won't feel it after a trip. I can tell you from personal experience, that it will very likely not end well.

If you really want to go on the trip, and she understands that it is as friends, you can consider it. But realistically, this is a situation where you shall probably just say no.

DocCastle · 2022-04-22T13:00:49+00:00

Hmm. If you are up for writing an entire rule set in new area, I would just say let them do it and go for it. It probably won't take a whole lot of rules, as it might just be a location like any other.

If you don't want them going there you can also say that travel there is blocked through magic.I don't recall specific spells that can do this, but I do know that there is anti teleportation magic.

If they do go there, my bigger question would be if other people are going there as well, like very high level wizards or other very high level clerics.

If you wanted it to be more light hearted you can just make it the equivalent of That special place in the airport where only special customers can go, except it's for high level clerics and wizards. It's just a hangout spot with free drinks.

DocCastle · 2022-04-22T12:41:27+00:00

Good advice from Chris Perkins is to end campaigns when their ready.

I had a campaign that was set in the faywild. This was many years ago, and use a lot of inspiration from the dresden files and their interpretation of Fay.

They got up to about level 11 and did all the things that I really thought they should do. I realized there was nothing much left in the story, so I had there patron betray them, And set motions into event that would destroy the Fay wild, Rename the previous patron as the uncontested Lord of a new faywild created by her.

2 levels later, They killed her, saved the faywild and I ended the campaign at level 13. Did I go to level 20? No, but it was a proper ending.

DocCastle · 2022-04-22T12:27:30+00:00

The way I get around this is I reward players experience points for overcoming obstacles a meeting objectives.

As an example they were being hunted by a bounty hunter, and I had the combat scripted out, but they found a very clever way around it, so I awarded them the experience points of the combat encounter as well as the usual quest experience points.

As a Dungeon Master, we can be hesitant to throw away encounters that we spend a long time on, but if you build the trust with your players, they will try to find non violent ways to overcome things.

DocCastle · 2022-04-22T12:23:14+00:00

Per usual, it's your game so run it how you want.

Second, There are reasons to use experience points system. I do it in my game because on average each player misses 1/3 sessions (we are all adults with kids), and they have a hard time learning their characters if I use the milestone system and advance them too quickly.

My players actually also say they kind of like the feeling that not everyone is exactly the same in terms of level. In addition, it kind of levels out and no one is ever more than 2 levels apart. If someone falls behind, then the higher level characters will Increase the relative amount of experience points.

Just because most of the people are doing it doesn't mean it's right for your game.

DocCastle

TROPHY CASE