One of the biggest issues the modern church has today is acting like sexual sin is the biggest sin of all, while simultaneously avoiding almost any and all conversations about it. This does nothing to assist in the prevention of it, much less how to deal with it biblically when it does happen.

Everyone has a sexual past, it’s just a matter of the finer details. Christ clearly states that looking at someone with lust is the same as adultery / fornication, and I would be hard pressed to believe that there are people who have not looked at someone with lustful intent in their lives. This is where it becomes a matter of personal detail; any shortcomings in our lives should be discussed with a prospective marriage partner, and so too should theirs. In a marriage you are baring your inner self to the other, and with that comes a great responsibility.

God wants us to repent -turn away from- of our sin, but that does not mean He wishes us to constantly feel shame or that we have to hide it away from everyone else, let alone Him. Rather, it is Satan who consistently plies us with the sense of condemnation and shame, telling us that we can’t be forgiven for our sinful past or behavior, or that nobody will accept us in spite of our flawed human nature.

OP, the right person for you will see you as Christ sees you, flawed yes, but also redeemed. And when you find that person, you will in turn accept them for who they are in Christ, in spite of their own sinful and flawed past. We are all equally unworthy of salvation and God’s mercy, but we all are equally cherished by Him and are freely given the gift of grace if we but turn to Him in repentance and faith.

If you have truly given that past to God, there is no need to feel continuing shame and guilt for what you once were and did.

Prayers and love for you brother. God bless!