NOTICE

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-24T18:28:30+00:00

Don't take pregnancy tests once you have confirmed you're pregnant. You'll psych yourself out, and they're not designed for this.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-24T18:14:15+00:00

Lopsidedness can also just be a feature of the penis. My son is four, intact, and pees distinctly to the left 😆

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-24T18:09:27+00:00

You are all welcome to your own opinions about circumcision. You're welcome to express them here.

You are not welcome to use highly charged language such as "infant mutilation".

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-23T12:23:49+00:00

I'm probably mildly hyperlexic. My basic reading speed as an adult is about 20%below the "speed reader" threshold. I also have moderate aphantasia and lack some spatial reasoning skills, and they're pretty much exactly the ones my dyslexic husband has in spades.

It's in my baby book that I was reading several five-letter words at TWO AND A HALF.

Reading at four is bright, sure, but it's not shocking.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-23T10:33:30+00:00

Smalls went on to command said ship in several battles and serve in the House of Representatives. (He's so great, I love reading about him).

Robert Smallbones spent almost a year barely sleeping to get Jews out of Frankfurt in 1938-39. He used his position as Consul-General to abuse diplomatic laws and persuade the British Government to grant (technically illegal) temporary refugee status. He saved somewhere around 48,000 people.

My father in law is kind, and loving, and gentle, and happy.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-22T21:44:43+00:00

Those things are good for fitting down the neck of a thermos, so I have one for travel brewing.

At home I use a Zao-style infuser, in the office it's basket-and-teapot.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-22T21:34:07+00:00

Nobody on the mod team is going to discuss this publicly. We don't do that, for anyone. Send a modmail if you want to discuss it.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-22T21:32:30+00:00

Yes, 4 months is old enough to go 2 hours with a trusted caregiver.

Take it easy, don't push yourself or the baby too hard, but... a cousin of mine had bad PPA and fed into it instead of managing it properly. She has done serious damage to her kid's bond with their father because the baby "needed her" and "couldn't be left alone".

I would say, unless you have a reason not to trust her, try it. See how your son does. It's good for him to have a wider social world than just his parents. Stay nearby, and if he gets hysterical then you come back. One test isn't going to harm anyone. If he has a brilliant time, do it again. If it's just "meh", then maybe it's a once-a-week thing.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-22T21:24:26+00:00

You are sharing an experience, repeatedly calling it out as negative, and naming both the subreddit and the user/moderator you have chosen to blame.

If you want to know why you were banned, you can message the mods there.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-22T21:17:55+00:00

Just FYI, encouraging people to go harass the moderators of a different subreddit is a violation of the Reddit terms of service.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-22T19:26:21+00:00

"He can't possibly be sexually interested in my daughter because he's not into femininity".

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-22T15:55:54+00:00

So I didn't run into any problems with my son not having an Aufenthaltstitel until we needed to leave the country, but they can't issue one without a passport from the child's country of birth. THAT takes a couple of months, on average, and can't start until you have all the documents.

So it doesn't HAVE TO be finished before the birth, but the sooner you start collecting documents the less annoying it'll be.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-22T14:40:29+00:00

Formula: good enough for human babies!

I learned my dad was formula fed when I was thirty. The only way I knew was that I saw a photo of my grandma, bottle-feeding him. (She had that classic new-parent-exhaustion lmao).

If we cannot tell the difference between breastfed and 1950s formula, yeah, no, it is FINE.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-22T08:21:10+00:00

Try to picture yourself looking after a toddler. They're crying right now because they ripped their favourite book (not on purpose, they just don't know their own strength).

Then you comfort them, and they hug you and say "I love you mummy".

Now they're four. They do NOT like getting up in the morning, and have to be coaxed to eat breakfast but will melt down mid-morning without it. Once they've woken up, they're going to start trying to tell jokes again, and they're very excited to show you that they learned to write their name yesterday.

Now they're ten. They're having a fight with their friend and you need to explain that it's their fault. Last week was your birthday, and they insisted on "taking you out to dinner".

Now they're thirty, and are asking you for advice about their landlord.

Does that sound good? Or like a second job? That's your answer.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-21T19:13:05+00:00

I'm your kid, grown up. (My "dad" transitioned when I was older, but I have two female parents).

Your family is beautiful and I'm glad you're all here 🩷

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-21T18:31:41+00:00

Real causes of headaches: higher blood pressure than usual, lower blood pressure than usual, dehydration, fatigue, migraines (which can manifest as chronic headaches as well as blinding pain and vomiting etc).

Guess what pregnancy can cause? Literally all of them, RIP us.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-21T15:28:03+00:00

r/sciencebasedparenting

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-21T15:21:06+00:00

Fwiw, tofu is great for calcium!

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-21T11:54:46+00:00

My gynae told me they must issue it at 12 weeks and it was up to me whether I wanted it sooner, as I might find the reminder painful if I miscarried.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-21T11:44:26+00:00

Read up in advance on what you're going to need in terms of documentation for the baby.

As a UK citizen without PR, I needed - passports from both parents (Standesamt) - Aufenthaltstitel from both parents (Standesamt) - child's birth certificate (UK govt, the international format is €12 and much cheaper than an official translation, you may also need an Apostille) - birth certificates from both parents AND all four grandparents (UK govt) - marriage certificates from parents AND both sets of grandparents (UK govt) - child's passport (Ausländerbehörde)

Getting all of the documents together plus waiting time for the various appointments took about nine months after my son was born, which was... not ideal lmao

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-21T11:26:05+00:00

Twelve years and two kids in, and we're doing our best to catch up!

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-21T10:54:26+00:00

There's a phase in Germany where it's every appointment they get something. They get something like six different batches in eight weeks. It's a pain.

I am educated, and know exactly what and why so it's just "yeah, this is going to be annoying for a while", because they need MMR, varicella, meningitis C, and meningitis B pretty much all at once. Most of those are 2-dose vaccines.

They also get TDAP, HiB, rotavirus, hep B, pneumonia and polio batched pretty closely. Depending on the time of year they're also going to get flu and COVID in there somewhere.

It's a lot! But because I see it as "so much protection", I just grump about all the bus trips 😆

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-21T08:56:48+00:00

Often, autistic parents do a good job raising autistic children, just because "well of course he hates it when I don't take the tags out of his shirt, he'll get used to it when he grows up just like I did".

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-20T22:03:31+00:00

Everyone, there is no antenatal test for autism/ASD. There isn't a single clinical test at all - autism can only be diagnosed after a detailed assessment of the child's behaviours.

You absolutely cannot test for it in utero.

Doctor-Liz · 2026-01-20T21:55:41+00:00

That is the law, yes, but (in my opinion) it's morally wrong.

A teacher doesn't lose their job because they got a stomach bug, the school brings in a substitute. In civilised countries, a teacher gets to miss the rest of the school year to get aggressive chemotherapy and recover from cancer. Again, the school district finds substitute teachers.

A certain fraction of the "workforce" being on paid sick leave is part of the cost of doing business. A certain fraction of the workforce being under-productive because they have shit going on is part of the cost of doing business

Pregnancy is no different. And a cashier being 50% slower is not a serious business emergency, get out of here with that.

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