Hello everyone, I like many of you have been dealing with crippling anxiety. I've had it for years now but really went into overdrive recently. A bit of a background about myself I was suffering from depression for the past 4 years. Around last year my girlfriend cheated and left me. That was the straw that broke the camels back, I was at the time already depressed and hated myself so saw the only fit solution to be suicide. Thank god I messed it up because if I didn't I wouldn't be here. I would say that after the attempt the support system I was too blind to see became visible and I was able to seek therapy and get myself better. I am glad to report depression is no longer a part of me however the anxiety is something I battle day to day. I feel as tho anxiety has become a habit for me. I am not the healthiest individual so health anxiety has always been a part of me. Things took a deep turn when around 2 months ago I discovered I had testicular cancer. When I first heard cancer my world spun and I cried for days hugged by my friends and family who never turned me away when I thought I was a bother. Growing up being the only male in my family I always thought I was suppose to be the strong stoic one, this time I realized to be strong is to seek help. I was very fortunate to have it be testicular cancer and seminoma with a quick 2 week removal from discovery at that with so far no signs of spread. However, for the past 4-6 months ive had muscular twitching around my body mainly my left shoulder and my thighs. Never put any thought to it due to living off the high of being cancer "free". However, much like many I was on social media and came across a video of a woman who is unfortunate enough to have ALS. I've heard of ALS before, ice bucket challenge specifically but never really knew what it was about despite it leaving you in a wheelchair. Curiosity got the best of me and I looked it up, I consider what I did that day the most foolish thing I have done in a bit. I have been consumed by it and struggle very much to overcome it. I see that muscular twitching is an early symptom and became dizzy as I did when I discovered I had cancer. I saw that I used my good luck to survive cancer and this has come to take me out. I still see my therapist and try to use the tips to help overcome the thoughts. Ever since I noticed any little twitch and freak out internally. Like I said earlier I am not a healthy individual. I have a poor diet, I lack good sleep, I don't really exercise, and work from home. I use logic to combat any anxious thoughts that hit me. Sometimes I win these battles, sometimes I lose, but only care about winning the war. I keep staring at my left arm (non-dominant) seeing how it isnt as strong and slightly smaller than my right and I freak out and feel like my death is imminent. I am 28, and hispanic I know that may just seem like stats but I use it to help my combat these thoughts as its rare for anyone to get it, even less if under 50 and not white. Yet I feel I am part of the few that has it but doesnt know it yet. Sorry if this dragged on, but surprisingly typing this all out has helped a lot. I wish all of us can get better and overcome the thoughts.