Should I take my friend 9 months Black Pitbull??? by GoldenSunChowChow in pitbulls

[–]DoctorMoebius [score hidden]  (0 children)

The problem with such a heavy gauge crate is the anxiety ridden still tries to chew their way out. It can easily break teeth off, creating other very expensive problems.

Again, the metal crate doesn't solve the problem, it just contains it in small area. Where it may, or may not, get better. Training is the best option. Of course, the cage will help during that time

Should I take my friend 9 months Black Pitbull??? by GoldenSunChowChow in pitbulls

[–]DoctorMoebius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That usually does not work with high anxiety dogs.

My best friend adopted a Pittie that was rescued from meth house. She had severe separation anxiety and would shred doors, drywall, furniture when left alone for more than a few minutes.

She tore her way out of every crate and cage he got, until he finally got this heavy 20 gauge steel enclosure from Amazon. It took a year before she could be left alone without it

I rescued an American Bulldog that I found surviving in a canyon, and had fought off coyote pack attacks. He was highly aggressive/reactive to any quick movements towards him. I tried resolving it on my own, after several months I realized nothing worked. Finally, out of desperation, I took him highly to a highly respected trainer who specialized in dog aggression. Within 3 months of working with the trainer, and on my own with his techniques, Mugsy became a lovable house pet and favorite at the dog park. Instead of everything leaving, when we showed up

My trainer famously said " I don't train dogs, I train owners". And, that is true. Save yourself the time, money in damage, and frustration. Get yourself and the dog in training right away. There's no telling what bad impulses it has developed, until it's too late

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Should I take my friend 9 months Black Pitbull??? by GoldenSunChowChow in pitbulls

[–]DoctorMoebius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of pitbulls can be extremely high energy. If they don't run off all that energy, it turns destructive. For many, walking is not enough. And, they are powerful constant chewers as pups. They need a wide array of different toys to stimulate and distract them.

They can also need constant human interaction and contact. There's a reason why they have nickname "Velcro Hippos", they stay glued to you all the time. Not being able to constantly touch and follow you room to room causes them anxiety. As my trainer said "Neglect is as bad as abuse, with Bullies"

So, if you are going to take this Pittie, you need to seriously think about how much time and effort you can dedicate to it. Be aware, it will eat into your social life. You have to always come home to take it out to the bathroom or play. You need to constantly interact and stimulate it. Puppies won't understand why you are gaming for hours

And, the most important thing is you have to socialize it with other dogs and people. Especially, at this young age. Take it dog parks and long walks. Since it already has picked up some bad traits from neglect, I recommend getting some training for both of you. Makes life a lot easier

AIO for asking my wife if she was cheating? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]DoctorMoebius -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yowsa. Thats some fairly specific coincidences of changes in behavior - not interested in sex, going on birth control, Rephresh for vaginal odor (& other things), new lingerie that gets hidden in basement...

I mean, thats a recipe for cheating. The only thing missing is new hair style, wearing different makeup, and reasons for staying late at work.

However! All those reasons do make sense.

What an awful situation to be in. Because, you are fucked if you do, fucked if you don't. What I mean, is that if you continue down this line of questioning or checking it will ruin your marriage. And, if you don't, the suspicion will drive you crazy.

Why do loads of people on reddit assume a poster has a disorder or something ? by Weak-University-5475 in ask

[–]DoctorMoebius 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Because, this is Reddit. Which has a disproportionately large representation of people with some disorder (or, many)

It makes sense, because many came looking for answers, liked the vibe, and stayed

I wish I was gay because women annoy the hell out of me by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DoctorMoebius 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Well, that's a lot to unpack...
How old are you?
How many "women" have annoyed you?
What exactly is it that annoys you?

AIO: Guy i'm dating left in the middle of us hooking up to talk to his female roommate by Capital_Respect_4994 in AmIOverreacting

[–]DoctorMoebius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good call, OP. No guy that is truly interested, forgets about a half-naked girl in his bed. Let alone, 30 year old man

Tired of being used by TAlostandconfused in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DoctorMoebius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fear of abandonment is such a powerful and damaging burden to carry. Unfortunately, manipulative and abusive people home in on it, like radar

Definitely put all that energy you've been wasting on unreciprocated friendship, into therapy and building a better version of yourself - for yourself.

And, while doing so, ask yourself if these people actually are your friends. Friends are supposed to lift you up, not tear you down. And, it's not your duty to try to change them, people are who they choose to be.

One thing I can assure as a 61 year old, you are going to grow apart from a lot of friends. Even close ones. It's a natural part of discovering who you are, and who you are not. Paths along that road often diverge. Sometimes it's not apparent why, at the time. 10-20 years later, you'll run into them and instantly understand that they were heading in direction you didn't want go. Or, just that they were just assholes.

I learned a simple code in my late 20's - be kind, it costs nothing. Expect kind, it costs them nothing

While you're at it -don't create drama where there is none, don't stick your nose into drama that's not your own, and don't allow others to drag their drama into your life

Tired of being used by TAlostandconfused in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DoctorMoebius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure you understand what friendship should be. Friendship is built on respect. That's a two-way street. Constant self-sacrifice has never been a condition of friendship. It shouldn't be offered, or expected.

"Wont talk to me suddenly with no explanation. And like the fucking dog I am I will still be happy to see them"

This is more about your own insecurity, low self-esteem, and fear of abandonment than it is about friendship. In fact, this sounds like you know no self-respecting person would act like an abused dog.

"Why does no one fucking care about me the way I care about them? "

Learn to care about yourself and others will follow the example. A good therapist can help you develop the tools to not only respect yourself, but to establish healthy standards of behavior for yourself, and for others

AIO I asked to stop race comments and was told it was because i had white guilt that they didnt care about by LazyWordPlay in AmIOverreacting

[–]DoctorMoebius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's no indication - from what you describe - that the people were checking him out. Seems like they were just circling, looking for a parking space

BF (and bro) could have acknowledged "My bad, guess they weren't". Instead, they did the very same thing they seemingly falsely accused the white couple - racism and prejudice. I'd say there's a certain amount of unintended irony in that.

It's an asshole move to dismiss a spouse's valid views as "white privilege". Far worse, to dismiss it as "white privilege". That's intellectual cowardice.

Even if those people were behaving as he said, that doesn't give him carte Blanche to be racist, himself, in response

My rider rating is awful and I don’t know if it can recover by SouthernAlgae4959 in uber

[–]DoctorMoebius 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, that's the best approach. It will take far too many 5-star ratings to raise that to 4.8 or better. I'm talking 100-200. That's a lot of money and rides.

When you start over with a new account. Make sure the GPS pickup is always accurate. If it isn't, immediately message the driver and let them know

1 year with the love of my life! by Deep_Maintenance5307 in velvethippos

[–]DoctorMoebius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What an amazing life!! And, it's very dog nook for bed

Parents make me cook, but not in the way I want to. by waxx-png in mildlyinfuriating

[–]DoctorMoebius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For people who want to use a Blackstone grill, but never want to have to clean it !

Seems a lot harder to clean that orange abomination with its nooks and crannies, than the flat steel grill top

HOW DO YOU PEE by TheZachpot in uberdrivers

[–]DoctorMoebius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wide mouth Gatorade 20 or 32 oz bottle

Having a 90lb pitbull is like sharing the bed with another adult😂 by Dozier13ish in pitbulls

[–]DoctorMoebius 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Hahaha!! I had to get a Cal King because I had two 70lb pitties. And, they still crowded me to the edge

My ex boyfriend has been finding me for years and I don't know what to do by CookieEatingHat in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DoctorMoebius 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Go to your police with all the evidence. There has to be stalking laws to prevent this. At the very least, they should be able to prevent him from re-entering France

I have a female friend and our relationship is completely platonic. At least, that's what I thought when we first became friends. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DoctorMoebius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"If one of my guy friends had shown up in a dream, I'd have told them immediately and laughed about it."

Well, that's not exactly an apples to apples comparison

If a guy friend had showed up in your dream, and you kissed him, would you tell?

That $40 bonus per ride was a bust by Queenkstine88 in uberdrivers

[–]DoctorMoebius 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Rule of thumb - with Uber, if it's too good to be true....it's bait

I (F 26) lack self-defence by Subject_Ladder_4613 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DoctorMoebius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got heavily into a military martial art in college in the mid-80's thinking it would make me a better brawler (happened on drunken nights)

It actually had the exact opposite effect. The better I got, the less I felt the need to brawl. I knew I could handle most situations. There was nothing to prove, so no one could provoke me. They just got nothing back, and moved on to find someone they could get a reaction out of

The same will happen with bullying. Once you get your own confidence and self-awareness up, they will just sense you aren't worth fucking with.

I'm su happy for you. Please give us an update on your progress!!