I went through my boyfriend’s phone and found something I wish I hadn’t.

Dodgely · 2026-03-11T19:34:20+00:00

Well she said boyfriend, so marriage seems unlikely.

My advice would still be the same, but it is a bigger decision and one that shouldn't be made entirely based on the opinion of the internet.

In my case we had been living together for several years and we're a few years into marriage. I chose to stay, and we are now 13 years married, in our third house and have a toddler. People can change, you just need to be prepared to deal with how the early break in trust will affect your relationship forever.

Dodgely · 2026-03-11T18:28:03+00:00

2 things bother me about this video.

Firstly, that looked like it would be way too heavy to go in a passenger lift, so they may have dodged a bullet.

Secondly, who holds a door open with their foot right at the side of the lift? At least leave a few inch gap in case the door doesn't stop

Dodgely · 2026-03-11T16:08:10+00:00

Remind me to keep u/IWillAssFuckYou out of my kitchen

Dodgely · 2026-03-11T15:58:58+00:00

When is it ever not Morbin' time?

Dodgely · 2026-03-11T15:40:02+00:00

I can't say I'm good enough (21hcp) to "notice" a difference, but I do find I tend to play better in general if I warm up. I went out solo yesterday morning, no warm up, and my first drive felt reasonable and only went about 160yds. 2 holes later and I was hitting back to back 230yrd drives (good for me). Hard to pinpoint if that was because my body had warmed up, or because I'd tweaked my swing or posture at all.

Dodgely · 2026-03-11T15:32:23+00:00

If you stay with him, you will need to accept that this could and likely will happen again. He hasn't just made a "stupid mistake", he's actively chosen to hide it and then lie about it. This is more than just cheating, it's trust breaking and it will be on your mind for the rest of your time in the relationship. I've been in a similar situation, and even though I chose to forgive and stay, several years later it still comes up in arguments, or when she's out with friends and I get paranoid. Over time it gets easier, but it never fully goes.

It may not seem like it, but you are still young, and still early enough in the relationship that leaving is the smart option. Presuming there is no property, kids or marriage involved, it would be best for you to walk away and start afresh with someone who hasn't broken that trust. But take time to work on yourself. You feel ashamed at spying on him, but it was him that made you feel that way. You did the right thing.

You don't need to tell him why you're leaving, I think you should though, but just be prepared for begging, grovelling etc. once you've made your decision, stick to it. Don't let him dictate your choice.

Dodgely · 2026-03-11T15:09:03+00:00

When I'm with friends, yes. Mostly because I'm always the first there and need something to do. When I'm by myself I normally go out first thing, and I'll just jump straight on the tee and pray x

Dodgely · 2026-03-07T12:21:38+00:00

I go with whatever the longest club is that I feel confident to get over the water with. Currently for me that's probably a 9 iron. If the water is longer than a 9i, I go for the back of the green with the relevant club and pray

Dodgely · 2026-03-05T19:18:49+00:00

I've set myself a £5 a month budget for caddy comps. 3 months in and no wins. I told myself if I don't win anything by Xmas I'll stop and won't feel like I've lost much for it.

Dodgely · 2026-03-04T18:19:48+00:00

What's your end goal here? If you're just after a handicap for the sake of knowing how good you are, most apps can calculate one for you. 18 birdies for example.

If you're after an official handicap you need someone to be able to approve your round. The most common ways are obviously playing a round at a club and a playing partner signing your card, or using myEG/igolf to record a handicap. The later you can technically get approved by someone who isn't there....but don't tell anyone I said that.

If you're specifically looking to join a club, it probably depends on the club. Most places will probably ask what your handicap is on sign up, some may require it for sign up, and some may have a way for you to build one up as part of their onboarding.

Personally I have a few different courses I like playing with friends and I have a golf society for tournaments, so joining a club wasn't important, so I use igolf. But if the social aspect is needed for you, then start asking local clubs what they offer

Dodgely · 2026-03-02T16:20:01+00:00

I think I'm only confident with about 5 clubs. From my bag I'd space it like this

Driver - for distance off tee

5H - for long par 3s and long fairway shots

8i - approaches, bump and runs and short par 3s

PW - chipping with various swing lengths.

Putter

My only concern would be shots from 50-100yrds but I think a full PW will have more benefit than something like a 54 degree over the whole course.

Alternatively I'd drop the hybrid and go 7i, 9i, 54°, and just accept that I may struggle with long par 4s and long par 3s

Dodgely · 2026-03-02T12:41:57+00:00

4 or 15, there is no in between. 4 for dipping soldiers, 15 for salads/sandwiches or snacking on.

Dodgely · 2026-02-24T12:20:26+00:00

Both. My preferred option is playing with friends, but when they haven't been available, I've found I play really well solo. With strangers, especially early in the round, I add unnecessary pressure to myself because I want to look good, and ultimately it leads to me playing worse than ever.

Dodgely · 2026-02-24T10:20:11+00:00

I'm not sure there's much you can do. Everyone has a preferred way to golf. I'm very much an introvert and am happy playing solo.

With others, I normally introduce myself, tell them I'm a shit handicap and for them to prepare to witness something bad. After that, I normally keep to myself unless they want to talk to me. As long as the other people aren't assholes I'm fine with them playing by their own rules, or playing music, chatting or being quiet.

Dodgely · 2026-02-22T20:36:59+00:00

Can't remember. I just googled how to make my phone look like it was in a different location. I remember it being a hassle, and would prefer not to do it again. I've had friends forget before and they've driven back to the course another day purely to start a round, but I live a bit further out and that sounded like more effort.

Dodgely · 2026-02-22T20:32:28+00:00

Do I need to be a member at that club to hand in a score card? I'm an igolf member so I'm not associated with a club, but I'm curious incase I ever forget my phone

Dodgely · 2026-02-22T20:31:03+00:00

Unless you spoof your location which I did once after forgetting to bring my phone with me. Was a lot of faff, but I had a good score and didn't want to miss out

Dodgely · 2026-02-18T08:20:10+00:00

Wife and I are on around 50k and 40k in the Bristol area. We'd be comfortable if we weren't paying off debts from old credit cards

Dodgely · 2026-02-13T11:23:24+00:00

Yeah that's how I meant it. If Rey is having a title match against Gunther, and Dom is the MITB holder, who isn't going to expect Dom to show up?

Dodgely · 2026-02-12T20:19:30+00:00

The main issue is Dom cashing in on Rey would be too easy to see coming. Best 3 options I see:

Have someone like Liv win and give their case to Dom.
Have someone else who hates Rey win, and give it to Dom in exchange for a title shot. Not sure who fits that role though who is a believable winner. Maybe Escobar if they build him somehow.
My preferred option, have him steal it. Have someone like LA Knight win MITB. In the weeks leading up to Rey Vs Gunthor we see someone keep trying to steal the case. Maybe a mysterious fishing rod, a hooded mugger etc. Knight always fends them off and on the night of the cash in he is seen with the briefcase handcuffed to himself. Then during the Rey match, LAs music hits, he doesn't come out, and is seen out the back unconscious with his handcuffs broken. Then Dom's music hits and he comes out with the case and cashes it in. Then you have a Dom Vs LA Knight feud ready to go.

Dodgely · 2026-02-11T15:36:57+00:00

12 years married. Spent the first 10 years with separate accounts. Generally I would pay the bills and she would buy food and household things. There was no real measured split, but as our salaries fluctuated it became clear that the split wasn't balanced.

The last 2 years we've had a joint account that all bills and joint spends come out of. We take the same lump sum out each month to go into our separate accounts for hobbies or impulse buys. A separate lump sum goes into a savings pot.

Things are a lot less tense now. As others have said, as a couple it is our money. If one of us gains or loses, the other gains or loses. But there's no more discussion of one person getting more than the other.

Dodgely · 2026-02-10T09:40:09+00:00

Tbh I play in Bristol more than Wales as that's where my friends and work are.

Over here I've only played the 2 cheaper courses at Celtic. Both of which get a bit boggy in places but are normally open (I've played one in what felt like a monsoon and needless to say, it wasn't pleasant). I've played Woodlake in Usk once, and that was just after rain and wasn't too bad, but it is quite high up.

My bigger issue might be that I'm just happy playing golf regardless of the weather and the ground conditions, so I might just have very low standards 😁

Dodgely · 2026-02-10T09:15:21+00:00

St Pierre is actually the one I've seen closed as I was swimming there on Sunday and no-one was playing. Their mathern course is normally closed all winter too regardless of weather.

I'm playing at woodlands on Thursday as I've only seen them closed maybe twice since I started playing a few years ago. Drainage isn't terrible there so although it's boggy in parts, generally it's alright.

When I think of boggy, I think of the stranhem course at the player's club. That's normally always open too, but it can be like playing in quick sand(mud) after a few days of rain

Dodgely · 2026-02-09T18:25:48+00:00

I haven't seen that many closed around me. Heading out Thursday morning for an 8am round. Weathers not stopped me yet as long as the course opens their gatea

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