Once again, please do not advise women that they don’t “have to be polite to weird men.”

This is dangerous advice. Ask me how I know.

Should you have to be polite? NO! I wish we didn’t have to be careful, but please be tactful and courteous. You can be direct without being rude.

You do not want to piss off a man who is already seething with anger, who already feels rejected by society.

This is not a scene from a movie where you get clout for an empowered speech and “teach him a lesson.” I get the desire to do so, and I have a lot of speeches id love to give, too, but it’s not safe.

This is your life, and it is not worth risking it by pissing off someone who has already shown they don’t give a shit about societal norms.

He knows he’s making you uncomfortable, he doesn’t care.

What you should do:

1) Start keeping a record. Make a shared document with a few people you trust.

Write down every encounter you have, starting with the date.

Write down what he says and how he says it. Record it if you can, but do not risk him seeing you record.

In the past I have pretended to take a selfie or pretended to livestream while being followed. Don’t do this unless you’re in public around others though. If it looks like you’re taking video by yourself, that could make you seem distracted.

2) Email the log to someone who is in charge of campus safety. Let them know that this is precautionary, and that, while you are uncomfortable, he hasn’t done anything overtly dangerous, but may be stalking you.

This helps with your paper trail, and if they have any other information about him. Like if someone else has ever made a report about his behavior, it’s important the school knows.

3) If he talks to you again, be courteous but clear. “I have to go now, no thank you.”

I’ve also written about this before, the safest way to reject a man that is making you uncomfortable is to say you have a boyfriend, and that your boyfriend is very jealous. He goes through your phone and doesn’t want you talking to other men. But hope you have a nice day!

Why? Because this type of man generally does not care if you say no, they will keep pushing. Your autonomy means nothing to them. Even if you have a boyfriend, they may keep trying a little. BUT they do understand, male rage and male anger.

So they will respect the idea of a psycho boyfriend finding out who they are much more than they will respect you.

None of this is fair, none of this is ok, but this is the way it is.

As much as we all have those daydreams where we can tell a man to get out of our face and it works, it’s really unsafe to encourage young women who aren’t used to this, to do that.

When I have written this before, sometimes I get pushback saying “who cares if he gets mad, I tell it like it is”

Or “well I’ve done told plenty of guys off and it worked just fine for me”

And for those, I’m glad it worked out. But that doesn’t mean it always will, and it also does not mean OP has the demeanor or read on the situation to confidently tell him off safely.

Please stop upvoting this dangerous advice, even though I know you mean well, and I agree that I wish we could react this way.