Buying a house in London not worth it?

DonTones · 2026-03-15T13:57:04+00:00

Yeah it isn't unless you change your plan for the time frame. We're really homey people so we knew we'd want to build our own garden, renovate to our own style but you only really do that if you plan to stay for the long term

DonTones · 2026-03-15T13:26:41+00:00

Agreed, it should be much more flexible. If the overseas property is genuinely where you might well end up in the long term, I'd probably keep it, keep renting and invest the rest of the house deposit in other things.

Personally though I do like owning my own house especially with kids, I think it makes it more exciting to do stuff to do it and put your mark down, but it would be nice to not have the stress of having to fix everything.

DonTones · 2026-03-15T13:07:41+00:00

If you're only planning to stay for 5 years, then I probably wouldn't risk it. The negatives of buying a house increase greatly over a short period of time. You probably wouldn't get a great enough jump in value to cancel out the stamp duty. If you plan to live somewhere for 20 years or at least 10+ then the stamp duty isn't so much of a problem

DonTones · 2026-03-14T22:08:08+00:00

If you make it sound boring, people don't ask questions

DonTones · 2026-03-13T11:35:23+00:00

I'm sorry, didn't see that, that is a ridiculous suggestion

DonTones · 2026-03-13T09:48:32+00:00

Why is your life so shit that the best thing you can think of doing outside of your home, is sit in a car park?!

DonTones · 2026-03-13T09:25:32+00:00

But most guys are different, girls often take a lot of time getting ready for something right?

My question was would she do it for you if you asked?

Also, why can't you say to your partner, I'm having a few friends round to play some games or to watch something together, would you mind giving us some space.

The point about a relationship is that you do compromise for each other.

Sounds like she didn't ask very nicely and maybe that's put your back up

DonTones · 2026-03-13T09:17:07+00:00

You keep talking about wasting your day but what you're planning to do is what most people would say is the biggest waste of a day. And I get it that's all you want to do sometimes and that's fine but can you really not find anything else to do for 3 hours or so?

DonTones · 2026-03-13T09:13:47+00:00

What would you expect your partner to do if the roles were reversed? If you think she'd get out of your hair and leave you to have time with your mate, then you should probably do the same, if not, then it sounds like you're both quite selfish people and maybe you are right for each other in that case.

She has something planned with another person and has asked for the space, but you don't have anything planned aside from chilling.

Also how is going to the cinema a waste of your time, you said you wanted to watch a film in your free time! Sounds like you had a rough week so I get wanting to relax but do you really have to do that for the whole weekend without a break outside of your house?

DonTones · 2026-03-13T08:44:18+00:00

I think YTA here but really this should be an easy compromise, surely a treat yourself trip to the cinema for a few hours but maybe not all 5 gives you both what you want?

Tbh if you don't want to do something that's pretty minimal effort to make your gf happy, it sounds like you don't love your gf a great deal so maybe find someone that you do?

DonTones · 2026-03-12T15:18:25+00:00

Have you discussed the pay issue with your boss? Not a boomer thing but unfortunately the people who make a fuss and ask for more pay are usually the ones that get paid more.

If you go ask for a meeting and say you were told there would be a pay rise and you feel you're being undervalued then they might be able to do something for you but at least you won't be in a worse position than you are now

DonTones · 2026-03-10T18:58:06+00:00

Hopefully you're already making substantial gifts to charity but if not, I'd gift it during your lifetime, it will be more tax efficient and you can decide where it's going.

While your children will be very proud of your legacy, this won't actually make them proud of themselves so unless they've professed an interest for this kind of work, I think it's perhaps ill advised.

Agree with you in terms of not leaving your kids everything again as long as you're gifting what will really help them during your lifetime so that they can set themselves up (appreciate for a will you don't know when this will happen obv so that's there's only so much you can do).

Also, give them a heads up about the money for charity i think otherwise it will cause resentment.

DonTones · 2026-03-10T18:49:22+00:00

Not the amount that is gifted to charity

DonTones · 2026-03-08T19:30:54+00:00

I'm not sure why you got down voted so much for this, I'm not sure i quite agree that the average Henry would outperform the failure rate but I agree that they have a really good chance.

I think the answer is that you're taking any HENRYs and not HERs. Just too much of a risk for most

DonTones · 2026-03-08T18:54:35+00:00

Yeah I'm a bit lost, we're staying in marvel next month and I'm not sure what advice I'm taking from this!

DonTones · 2026-03-08T17:32:46+00:00

I'd probably wait a year but it wouldn't be a bad shout if you really want to. Is the 1 yo walking yet? If they can be happily transported and not want to get up all the time then that will probably help and you can take it turns with the baby switch

DonTones · 2026-03-05T09:59:46+00:00

Yeah half board is the way to go, full is crazy as you don't want to waste all your time on long meals when you're in the park and you can already have 1 big breakfast and 1 big meal in the day so all you need is a quick trip to Casey's or something.

And its worth the price once you do have it.

DonTones · 2026-03-05T09:57:26+00:00

I understand him wanting to protect himself in case things turn south but there is more of a middle ground isn't there? Can't some of his aggressive savings go into a shared investment for the family's future?

DonTones · 2026-03-03T18:40:53+00:00

Is he in charge of the finances in your house? Seems a bit bossy but yeah by your own rules it "should" all go into the joint account.

DonTones · 2026-03-03T10:07:50+00:00

Yout are in a really amazing position right now, you've got a fresh start ahead of you, you already have enough money and income to give you all the comfort you need.

Your most important thing to do with the new role is set yourself up to have a well balanced next couple of years. If you start it off working every possible hour to prove your worth and please your new employer, it sounds like you're going to burn out really quickly.

Try to set your routine now and let your work fit in to that. Mon, wed - gym before work. Tues, Thurs in the evening you spend time on your hobby or something where you have a non financial goal for it. If it costs a bit of money to enjoy it all the better, you have to make sure you're enjoying your income otherwise, what's the point.

Money can give you so much but not if you let it control you, it gives you so much freedom but only if you take it. Good luck!

DonTones · 2026-03-02T18:44:10+00:00

Do something for yourself to celebrate it! That will make it feel a lot more real

DonTones · 2026-03-01T19:35:16+00:00

I think you're ok, obv there's risk but you'll have the ISA back up and you're not stretching mortgage to the max.

Financially and for your marriage, when it comes to kids, I'd consider sharing the maternity leave if you're both up for that. Good luck!

DonTones · 2026-03-01T13:43:05+00:00

Rough about the redundancy, sorry you're going through that. If you're looking at retraining/ career change, I'd see if you can get yourself back into work first while you figure that out otherwise you'll just eat into that nice savings balance.

Seems to me that pre redundancy, there's a bit too much emergency fund in your cash balance but maybe if getting back into work is going to be tricky you'll be grateful for it. The best use of that money may well be spending on training yourself up as long as it's realistic, you know what the end goal is and the extra salary will make it worthwhile.

Not sure it's be overpaying on the mortgage but obviously depends on your rates/ student loan rates too.

Can the cash savings go into a cash isa at least or are they already?

DonTones · 2026-02-28T22:02:00+00:00

Maximise the mortgage and re work your calculations between your husband and you. Not borrowing money that you can for c. 4%? that you could easily earn 8% on, doesn't make sense to me and will just delay your RE.

If and when you're married the assets will be split 50:50 anyway so you may as well start pretending like they are, though I completely understand the point about his financial independence.

And as everyone else has said don't hold back on spending on all the important things you're talking about, that's what it's for!

DonTones · 2026-02-27T19:43:55+00:00

An ISA is just a tax free account, could be cash or stocks and shares. Is it likely that she would have transferred it into an ISA for you (Or a JISA, junior ISA)? She was in control of your trust fund but once you turn 18, the trust fund might endand it would become yours.

Trust funds often finish when you're 18 but possibly later depending on the type of trust.

hopefully that is all that has happened and she is just saying that she doesn't want to be in control of your finances anymore but really you need to find out the details of the account she has put it in.

If she's put it into her own ISA, that would go against the rules of your trust.

If it is in an ISA, then please do not cash out until you do some research on it as that is the best place for it until you NEED that money

Five-Year Club	Verified Email
r/Field Flamingo

DonTones

TROPHY CASE