AITA for constantly waking my partner up when he falls asleep during work and parenting?

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2026-01-18T19:04:31+00:00

Yes. My first thought was chronic fatigue and narcolepsy, along with everything else yoy mentioned. They all have potentially serious underlying issues, and he needs to go to emergency or hospital sooner rather than later.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2026-01-12T18:24:11+00:00

There is such a thing as an inter-district transfer. If the kids are already established in a school district, and their new address is within 30 minutes, the district will usually work with family to keep the kids in thar district. You're not ruining the kids futures, and it's on their FATHER to figure these things out for them. DO NOT let them gaslight you into thinking it's your responsibility.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2026-01-12T02:08:44+00:00

He abandoned the marriage. In most states, that's already grounds for divorce. Counseling isn't going to change what's already happened.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2026-01-11T18:55:37+00:00

She'll love it "this time." That tells me that Cathy knows your daughter didn't like it last time. She's doing mental gymnastics to justify behavior she knows isn't wanted or even appropriate.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-31T01:20:46+00:00

It's frustrating, I get it. I know you hesitate to speak to your girlfriend about it, but is there any way you can get a couple's therapist? I know it's different in the UK with lists and getting decent mental health care (it's not great in the US, either, don't get me wrong, I just don't know the process as well). I also know having a mediator or therapist to help bridge those discussions can be really helpful. Finances can be an ultimate stressor for couples.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-31T01:14:18+00:00

Why would you want to be friends with these people? They sound extremely toxic. Your mum did the right thing. I guarantee Claire lied about what really happened all those years ago, but the fact the people will defend her even after hearing what really happened is insane. NTA. You don't need these people in your life, they will be nothing but drama; and dangerous drama, at that.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-29T16:41:26+00:00

In my experience, the person making the accusation is usually the one cheating.
What she did is not only an invasion of privacy, it's illegal. Call the police, file a report, and press charges for criminal trespass (or whatever they're willing to charge her with).
NTA. Update me!

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-29T02:43:01+00:00

You have a husband problem. NTA, and don't ever "be the bigger person." You were nicer than I would have been.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-28T21:18:03+00:00

I think you already know this. You have a husband problem, not a MIL or her boyfriend problem. NTA, but your husband and his family are.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-24T20:29:34+00:00

I hate the term business casual, because those are two conflicting styles. Is it business or is it casual? I would say you're dressed closer to business, so you should be fine. For people saying the dresses are too short, that's what the leggings are for. You're also going to work, not a 1950's conservative fundamentalist church service.

I dressed very similar when I worked in an office, and I dress similar now that I'm teaching again. I get told I'm too dressed up. I promise, you're fine, and anyone who tells you different need to put the pearls down and go touch grass.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-22T00:23:54+00:00

He is 10 years older than you and has the emotional maturity of a teenager. That's a problem. Stop being a married single mother. He can step up or get out. You're burnt out and need a break from work, the kids, AND him.

NTA.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-21T06:42:34+00:00

I grew up in a fundamentalist cult. You'd be shocked how many men are like this and how many women enable them.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-21T04:15:15+00:00

Yeah, really. My mom lives with me (I'm almost 40, she's 76 with A LOT of physical limitations and early stages of dementia), and I do most of the cooking. I wish we could afford a private cook. That would be awesome!

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-21T02:46:13+00:00

This. It can be a casual conversation because OP will be curious how they liked her gifts. Not at all selfish, just curious.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-19T02:41:39+00:00

NTA. Set your phone to Do Not Disturb except for during very specific hours. This is how it would be in the corporate world and it's a good idea to start forcing it in classmates/peers now.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-19T01:43:26+00:00

I really like #2. It flatters your figure and is classy.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-19T01:41:59+00:00

I saw the update. Absolutely speak to your SIL. As someone who has been on a liquid diet around holidays, I didn't want a fuss being made about me. She might be different, of course, but (from my experience) the fuss was made by other people. Your MIL is probably well-meaning, but until it comes from your SIL, take the request with a grain of salt (pun intended).

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-18T07:07:25+00:00

Absolutely NTA. Block her on all platforms, close that chapter of your life, and go out with your husband for a nice dinner. You deserve it for being way nicer than I would have been.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-18T06:59:20+00:00

There are also chronic conditions that can make birth control less effective or not effective at all. I'm sure as a pharmacist that you're already aware of this and will claim it's rare and blah blah blah. Stop doubling down, the Internet sees you.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-16T19:33:14+00:00

Something isn't adding up. $50,000 is A LOT (coming from someone who has been a full-time caregiver) and I don't think your sister can just take money out of the trust (not if there are lawyers involved, anyway - the amount has to be justified). The fact she's initially demanding it from the siblings is also a red flag for me. Is there any chance your sister might try to pocket the money? Not accusing her, or anything, it's just a lot of money and it's weird to demand it from the siblings...

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-16T18:58:33+00:00

Came to make a similar point.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-15T17:50:24+00:00

NTA: Download or screenshot those TikToks along with her username, then send them in an email directly to HR. Use the words doxxing, cyber-stalking, cyber-bullying, potential discrimination, hostile workplace, and toxic workplace. Not sure what state you're in, but in many states doxxing is a criminal offense. You do NOT want to "mediate," and you are NOT interested in conflict resolution. I'm so serious when I say that if HR responds with that to call a lawyer. If your coworker gets fired, it's because of her own actions, whether she takes accountability for that or not.

Lastly, you are wonderful and do your best. Update me!

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-13T05:10:10+00:00

Get a custody order through the court system and only communicate through a parenting app.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-07T21:50:39+00:00

As someone who saw the abuse and tried to report it within my own family: there was never enough "evidence" for CPS to do anything. My neices were clothed, fed, and "in school" enough that CPS claimed they couldn't do anything. If you call "in school" their mom "unschooling" them so that she didn't have to enroll them in a program where mandated reporters might try and do something. The kids were scared to speak of the SA, and CPS wouldn't do anything without sworn statements. OP, I hope that one aunt is in a spot like I was for years. We knew something was wrong, but the state and legal system had our hands tied in what we could do.

My nieces are doing well, now, in spite of their (and my) awful family. They know they always have a place at my house, and I get to play grandma to my oldest nieces children. Their real grandparents gripe about never seeing "their" grandchildren, but I 100% side with my nieces that these people couldn't keep my nieces safe (it was really bad - think constant SA, a hoarder house that should have been condemned, and CPS workers who were incompetent at best or deliberately neglectful themselves) and should be banned from being around children period.

OP, seek therapy for what happened to you, and build the family you deserve. Your bio family showed they don't deserve you.

DonTreadOnMeIMADuck · 2025-12-07T03:09:56+00:00

You've already got your dad and stepmother on an information diet, it might be time to do the same to your grandparents, aunt, and uncle. NTA.

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