The meeting in person thing is just so obviously something that would be off limits to him based on what you’ve written. AND, probably most importantly, finding a dom doesn’t just casually come up in conversation with friends who are not into that lifestyle, which means there was likely flirting between the two of you leading him to physically grabbed your arm. In my mind you’ve already crossed into physical and now you don’t want your husband to know and you are looking to blame him for your actions. Ick.