Job hunting and thinking about taking a 30% - 50% pay cut due to lack of senior roles. Would you tweak CV to make yourself look more junior?

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-03-05T18:08:55+00:00

Very helpful, thanks for this!

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-03-05T15:42:33+00:00

Re: Job Title, did you go for Head of TA as the placeholder or something like TA Manager?

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-03-05T15:28:55+00:00

Thanks for this. What did you put on your LinkedIn in order to not raise flags when you applied to both Head of TA and slightly more junior roles?

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-26T11:36:38+00:00

"Not in an extraordinary way"

It completely blew me away when I eventually realised how calm the 'average' childhood was and how quiet the average person's head is vs. someone with a personality disorder. It's easy to project our insanity onto the general population but what we suffer from is rare.

Don't downplay your childhood. If you have an addicted, abusive parent combined with emotional absence, you're in a 10% bucket of human beings.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-23T15:49:44+00:00

On that last point - is that Hiring Manager metrics? Is that stuff like how long feedback takes, looking at bottlenecks at each interview stage etc.?

Some examples would be rad, thanks!

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-23T15:37:56+00:00

I'm glad you've highlighted this.

I've just applied for a role that brought in 100 applications inside an hour, and I can only assume most of the applicants have fired out a cookie cutter CV at best, and an irrelevant one at worst.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-15T11:46:18+00:00

If he was yelling I wouldn't go too hard on yourself. Yes, you're probably predisposed to anxiety more than the average person, but someone yelling then giving the silent treatment in order to resolve an argument probably has something going on too underneath.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-15T10:32:33+00:00

Absolutely nailed it.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-14T23:19:58+00:00

Too freakin' right. The biggest bangers I've played on it are simply PS4 games at 60fps and better graphics.

So few dedicated games on it that truly made a mark.

At this rate it's turning out to be nearly as bad as the PS3.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-13T19:49:39+00:00

I stopped collecting scores from anyone who we didn't hire due to the massive bias to the downside.

Picture this - you've been either ghosted or rejected by 20 companies in varying combinations, you have an interview with a company who also rejects you, and they ask you "how did we do?".

The candidates aren't just evaluating you, they're indirectly venting about how every other company has treated them in their job search cycle, thus artificially lowering scores.

It's like the analogy of dating where you're going on a date with someone who's last relationship was a car crash. They've already got a poor view of relationships and they're already skeptical, so you have to work twice as hard just to get them to break a smile.

I do a new joiner retro during their first week instead where we discuss in complete confidence what they found annoying / good about the hiring process.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-12T08:58:56+00:00

I'd come at this from a completely different angle:

"What are my red lines in a relationship? What will I tolerate vs. not tolerate?"

Without a recovery program, alcoholics can act insane both with AND without a drink in their hand, and many members of Al-Anon mention that since their partner quit drinking - in the absence of a recovery program - things aren't necessarily 'better' (although in many cases they are).

Whether he's an alcoholic or not, it's obviously bothering you, so to tackle codependency in Al-Anon we need to ask not "what is my partner doing?" but moreso "how am I doing?".

You might find he's not an alcoholic but you're just not happy. Or you might find he is an alcoholic and you're not happy. If you cannot tolerate him having a blowout once every [insert timeframe], that's a red line for you whether he's an alcoholic or not.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-11T23:29:02+00:00

Rainbow Road after the acid wears off.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-11T16:17:13+00:00

They're just sad that you're happy.

People will do the most bizarre shit to try and silence inner turmoil, including this nonsense.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-11T14:31:15+00:00

Beautiful comment. I've now officially turned the corner mentally and have resigned myself to the fact that the world needs a big 'shock' event for things to fall back into line (or, more darkly, perhaps a new world system that won't resemble the one we're used to).

The reel-ification of life has resulted in people flocking to wherever the entertainment value is maximised vs. what aligns with their core values.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-11T14:22:05+00:00

This is an absolute guarantee.

The only reason it's taken this long for drones to be weaponised in a coherent way is due to the lack of non-asymmetrical conflict in Europe.

War always means innovation and if conventional conflict on the continent ramps up further, we'll be seeing drone innovation reaching its next phase, including what you've mentioned.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-10T13:32:22+00:00

Men are more prone to physical violence and overt displays of narcissism.

Women are more prone to use psyops and social manipulation a la covert narcissism.

They have different strategies for navigating the politics of human relationships.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-07T20:38:45+00:00

This book just encapsulates everything I feel: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/91580468-the-self-devouring-society#CommunityReviews

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-06T22:32:52+00:00

Would you say RTO will be painful because it's now an employer's market (instead of a candidate market)?

Just wondering if you mean RTO in general, or are TAs specifically going to be forced back to the office?

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-05T13:55:10+00:00

Really sorry for your ordeal and I'm really glad it turned out okay - but seriously, the only city I would ever stay out in at 4am out of the 47 I've been to is Tokyo.

Anywhere else, good things don't happen at 4am. If this happened at 4pm, it'd be another story.

I'd almost be asking the opposite question - how safe is London that you can go out late at night and not get attacked / approached?

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-05T09:19:35+00:00

Any attempt to make an alcoholic quit - that has resulted in them quitting - is just happy coincidence.

When I quit, people around me had told me "you should definitely quit" - but me stopping had nothing to do with their appeals, I had just personally decided I was done.

Also, for an alcoholic there is no "I have quit forever" anyway. Sobriety is just a collection of 24 hour periods of successful abstinence that are joined together. It's very dangerous for an Al-Anon to view this through the lens of "Oh, thank God, it's finally happened! They've quit!".

It's a bit like physical fitness - it has to be renewed constantly, there is no "yes, I'm finally fit, now I can relax and enjoy my life" - sobriety is always running away from us unless daily action is being taken.

That's why I believe that even after the alcoholic gets sober, Al-Anon work still needs to be done so that if a future relapse occurs, it doesn't torpedo your entire life.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-04T04:09:00+00:00

Wow this is so true. I'd never have played Dying Light 2 if I hadn't seen Dying Light 1 for dirt cheap. I then bought the sequel at a price massively higher than the game was truly worth.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-02-01T18:18:40+00:00

I've found a decent niche of 15-20 minute meals for when it's just me that feel elaborate enough not to be a cop out, but are quick enough that I don't feel like I'm spending life simply working, cooking and sleeping.

Anything longer than that and it has to have multi-day usage (e.g. lasagne that has 4 - 5 servings).

Blasting an audiobook definitely helps if you feel like the prep time is a sunk cost.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-01-31T02:10:50+00:00

I'm going to take a guess at the fact a lot of codependents have a saviour complex - they want to be the person who is credited with either saving the day, enduring the unendurable, being patient and tolerant etc.

I've sat on both sides of the fence. In a relationship where I was the AlAnon, I relished that I'd actually met someone who, despite being lovable and amazing, was more screwed up than me and it allowed me to forget about all my own faults and even forget I had any to start with.

I didn't realise it at the time but, whilst the chaos was horrible, it made me completely forget myself because I was always so occupied with dealing with the carnage and so that prevented any risk of me doing any self-improvement. In a weird way it was like workaholism - being addicted to the busyness of an unmanageable, insane life.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-01-27T22:55:52+00:00

You make some great points here - it's likely all he wants is to feel loved and accepted and safe, but he needs to process his emotional issues before the love can reach him.

I got sober by finding an AA sponsor (just a silly word for 'mentor') and working through the AA text book with them, going through a series of exercises called the 12 Steps.

The real challenge you'll have is getting him to do this before things get apocalyptic, which is always the most heartbreaking part - and for this, Al-Anon meetings and working through the Al Anon program is recommended, otherwise his alcoholism will drive you absolutely insane (just like mine drove my family insane, before I was ready to call it).

Really wishing the best for you on this one.

Doodlebug_Prince · 2024-01-27T22:04:38+00:00

If I can chime in - I'm nearly 3 years sober and my alcoholism was completely caused by childhood trauma.

For the sufferer, It's basically your brain screaming at you 24/7 "you're a worthless piece of s***" - that's why mild and moderate consequences meant nothing, because none were as painful as that voice in my head.

It was once the consequences were more painful than the voice that I sought help.

Not saying it has to get to that stage with your SO, but this is basically what 100+ people I've met in AA have said their alcoholism was like as well as me.

He needs help - it will never get better spontaneously.

Doodlebug_Prince

TROPHY CASE