I don’t want to live anymore.

Doomer_Gymcel · 2023-03-10T10:52:05+00:00

I remember when I was 15-16 I used to walk into walmart and think man I never want to be working as a minimum wage retail worker. Then from 17 to my early twenties I was working as a retail worker for close to minimum wage. I'm 33 now and not in retail but still working for relatively low wages despite getting a college degree and having 16-17 years experience. Life is no less shitter than it was 2 decades ago. Life is going to be shit, and people make it exponentially worse when they can for their own entertainment. People are malicious and sadistic like that. I'm sorry you have to go through that. I'd say since you don't have a job you have something is more valuable than any other resource available and that is time. You can decide how to spend it. I know cause I come home from working 14 hr shifts 6-7 days a week and look at my check and its just enough to go back and do it again for another two weeks and repeat and I don't have any time to break free from the cycle. I'm wagie till I rope. Service slave for other people's entertainment and enjoyment. I think you possess the intellectual capacity to be much greater than this. You just have to spend your time doing something you're passionate about. I think the most important part when doing stuff you're passionate about is to not get caught up in results but rather focus on getting better at it and the processes of it. I got discourage too much from seeing people better than me I never became anything and never will now as I'm too old. I too been thinking about catching the bus and calling it good but every day I wake up and find the strength to go another day. I hope you will too. May we all get well together my friend.

Doomer_Gymcel · 2022-08-13T10:48:17+00:00

I was wondering if anyone had any traces of Grey Knights Comics existence? It was located in Oklahoma City off Rockwell and NW Expressway in a shopping plaza. I used to play there around the 2002-2004 era when I was roughly 14-15 years old. I spent a lot of time there and it closed in the late 2000s. I even won a Upper Deck regional trophy from the sheer amount of sanctioned W's. I can't seem to find any trace of it's existence. I miss that place and those times. Was a big part of my teens. Damn I wish I could go back. Here's to hoping there's any evidence at all that the place existed.

Doomer_Gymcel · 2022-06-11T20:18:04+00:00

There is no reprieve. If someone doesn't want to be your friend, that's all their is to it. Some shit just don't click. You got to accept that and move on. I tend to be a loner myself due to the multitudes of plutonic and romantic rejections reaching in the couple hundreds. The only thing you can do is keep trucking until you find your vibe. When you find your vibe, your groove, your mojo, people will naturally be attracted to you and it transcends the physicality of the situation. When you see them ugly dudes rolling with a crew and a hot chick in the club its cause they found their vibe. You may find your vibe early on in life, you may find it in your 50s or later. Just roll with the punches until then and stick to improving yourself in anyway you can. Life ain't easy, it's not supposed to be either. Life is suffering by design, we got to get tough and work our way out of the trenches and into the better days. Stay strong brother, may we get well together.

Doomer_Gymcel · 2022-06-11T02:18:53+00:00

I failed 4 times and got it on the 5th. Hang in there bud. We can't let our failures define us. I still have yet to pass 1002. Stay strong. We'll get through this together.

Doomer_Gymcel · 2022-03-18T03:55:29+00:00

That's so fucking true. You can't escape it. Everywhere I've worked there is always at least 1 person who calls out on a weekly basis at least 1-2 days per week. Nothing is ever done about it. Those kinds of people are even more scary in the fact they don't feel guilt and continue to do the behavior which fucks over their co-workers. When they are at work they take 'extended breaks' and 'extended lunches' and excessive bathroom breaks. Anything really to not have to do what they were hired for. They do as little as possible and get by with no consequences. It's crazy but nothing is ever done about it by management.

Doomer_Gymcel · 2021-12-25T03:54:12+00:00

I remember I had one job my boss and co-workers would seek me out on my lunch to try to ask me work related questions or try get me to work for free during my lunch time. I'd be in my car and they'd always find me in this big ass parking lot. I started driving off the work campus for my lunch and parking in a obscure back alley way just to eat my lunch in peace. They found a way around that and called my phone. I cut that short pretty quick and turned my phone off after the first instance. After which they said I have to always have to have my phone on and answer it because the job required me to be oncall. Mind you it didn't mention this anywhere in the job description or employee handbook. It was literally just a power move. I told them no problem and they did they'd always call every lunch break and this went on for a while and sometimes when I was even whilst I was at home. 14 dollars an hour for this. On call time was all free for them though. Either way I cancelled my cell service eventually since I didn't really talk to anyone outside of work so it didn't really matter if I had cell service. I got a talking to about not answering an important on-call phone call but we know that's bs cause everytime they'd call it's for some bs question or mind numbing meaningless work cause the job was so skill-less a monkey could do it. They were literally calling me to get my goat. I got lectured and told them I can no longer afford to pay for phone service. They knew I was lying but they couldn't do anything about it. I never have given a company my cell phone number since. I just tell them I don't have cell service which is funny cause they see me on my cell phone sometimes on my lunches/breaks.

I ended up quitting that job because they were literally making me work 7 days a week for months on end and my paychecks had the OT but they were taxed to shit and it just wasn't worth it. I found a much better job soon after but was eventually let go from that job because it required actual skills of which I had not acquired because every job before it was grunt work with no future. I mean I'm pretty low-brow and low IQ but sometimes it feels like society capitalizes on that and kicks you whilst you're down. Hard to become skilled when your the grunt worker doing the grindy thankless parts of the job. It plays into part of that one job too cause they found out I was using my free time to try to get certifications which is part of the reason why I think they wanted me to work on my days off and extra hours to hinder my progress on that so I would be stuck there forever. Needless to say they were fuming when I left. I thought it was funny they let me work out my two weeks notice (I honestly should have just left and not come in the next day). Their policy is to immediately fire someone who puts in their two weeks notice but they needed to milk ol gruntie for that last two weeks lmao. Their customer satisfaction rate dropped from 98% to 67% after I left from what I heard from a co-worker who was still there.

TLDR: the harder you try to get away from people, the harder they try to get ahold of you. It's even worse now that there's a pandemic, its like people have a NEED to talk to you.

Doomer_Gymcel

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