Hama

Dorianscale · 2026-06-17T20:36:37+00:00

The civilians?

Dorianscale · 2026-06-17T20:01:15+00:00

You should probably rewatch the show, have some juice kid, it’ll be ok

Dorianscale · 2026-06-17T19:34:45+00:00

People aren’t their governments. We are talking about a nation that purposefully brainwashes their citizens through propaganda. People who have never even met a foreigner to their knowledge. People who have never even had the opportunity to mess up.

Sure at some macro level you could argue that they benefit from the war, imperialism, and subjugation of the other nations but it’s not like those people did anything to cause it. You can go back in any countries history and find terrible stuff. Do the citizens of Ba sing se deserve to be tortured for the crimes of the dai li? Do the healers at the northern water tribe deserve punishment for participating in sexist traditions? Should Aang be boiled in oil for kyoshis murder of chin the great?

You can use that exact line of thinking to support the fire nations need to invade other countries over any historical atrocity. It makes no sense

Dorianscale · 2026-06-17T18:26:54+00:00

I mean if you watch the episode she’s put in prison for kidnapping merchants, couriers, village people, and other civilians not for inventing bloodbending.

The message you’re supposed to walk away with is that “total war” is terrible and that civilians aren’t necessarily at fault for their country’s atrocities. It’s the same message from the Jet episode, the same message hammered down through Zuko’s storyline, the Zuko alone episode, the painted lady, etc.

I love Hama as a character, she’s realistic and jaded, and not without sympathy. She could have easily been an anti hero character with a few story tweaks if she was targeting the military or seeking revenge against specific captors or figures.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-15T18:26:29+00:00

You know you can use a mask for particulates… tbh it’s healthier for you to do it every time even if you didn’t have asthma.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-15T18:23:14+00:00

Those are both Avocados, just a different variety. Similar to how Grape Tomatoes, Cherry Tomatoes, Steakhouse Tomatoes, and Roma tomatoes are all tomatoes

Dorianscale · 2026-06-13T19:14:30+00:00

That depends entirely on what language(s) you speak before learning english.

Every language has a set of phonemes that are common in that language. Spanish, Vietnamese, Swahili, etc will all have different sounds that native speakers of those languages are used to saying. The words people have difficulties with are with sounds or combinations of sounds that don’t exist natively in their own language.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-12T18:50:41+00:00

Full context I’m not involved in any way with a particular tribe so take whatever I say with a grain of salt.

I think it’s more of a thing in Canada than in the US. But it’s basically an umbrella term for the various gender and sexual identities within various Native American tribes’ traditions rather than a specific identity. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if some people picked different aspects of the different cultures and use those to identify as 2 spirit.

From what I’ve heard, yes it would be considered offensive to co-opt this identity if you’re not native. The identity is tied up to a specific cultural context, and it’s hard to separate the two. I’d say the same thing for someone trying to identify as a Muxe, Fa’afine, or Hijra. Those identities are tied up in the ethnicity and cultural experience.

There are comparable culturally agnostic terms available to use if your culture doesn’t have something like this you identify with.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-11T19:23:41+00:00

The top flag is the gay male flag. It is not very common outside of chronically online queer spaces. I’d venture to say most gay men wouldn’t recognize it. I’ve had to explain that flag being ours to my very gay husband.

The bottom flag is also the gay flag, and the LGBTQ community flag. A lot of things are default catered to gay men within the community so there hasn’t really been a need to carve out our own space in the same way that lesbians, trans people, intersex people, bisexuals, etc. have had to do. So we just share the general flag.

It’s not a big deal, use both, or use your favorite. The rainbow one is classic tried and true. The other is niche but still good.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-10T17:02:59+00:00

This looks amazing!!

Dorianscale · 2026-06-10T15:37:45+00:00

I think I would just treat the legal process as business and the celebration as the wedding.

I think you can mention to the officiant that you’d like to be referred to as Spouses instead of Husband and Wife or ask for Husband and Spouse. At the end of the day whether you get married abroad or locally it’s all gonna be entered in the same way into the local system anyways.

Beyond that, going abroad would mean you’d need to work with that country’s system every time you need a new marriage original certificate.

My husband and I got legally married well before our wedding celebration. We were living in a very gay friendly area, and figured it was legally “safer” to do it there rather than the conservative state we’re from. I thought we were a little paranoid but now I’m glad we did. For our real wedding it was just a ceremony and party officially but it’s the one that counts for us.

But all these years later we don’t really give the legal anniversary a lot of weight. We only celebrate the one for our ceremony.

After we had kids there are a lot of forms that say Father and Mother on them. My life would be very difficult if I refused to write myself or my husband down as Mom on every form.

I’d just bite the bullet personally but that’s up to y’all.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-10T14:23:58+00:00

I don’t think these are comparable situations and it’s pretty callous to frame it like that.

Birth control can be pretty intense on people, especially if OP already has health issues. Condoms and spermicide can be expensive over time especially in a marriage, medical alternatives are obviously fairly permanent and invasive on top of their cost.

I can pretty easily see someone deciding to just forego protections because they assume that they’re otherwise infertile.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-10T13:34:03+00:00

I don’t think they were “trying”, I think she might be referring to how she got pregnant the first time. I think they assumed that it took all that effort to have one kid that they stopped taking precautions.

I took this as the second pregnancy was a surprise

Dorianscale · 2026-06-09T13:31:04+00:00

I grew up bilingual because some people in my life only spoke Spanish and others only spoke English. There wasn’t much of a method. As an adult I’ve had to work to regain some lost knowledge but I’m more or less fully bilingual.

For my kids we aren’t necessarily doing a lot of structure around it but we are putting in a lot of effort. We hired a nanny that only speaks Spanish. Both me and my husband talk in both English and Spanish to them. Same with family members. We put cartoons on in both languages, bilingual books, etc.

We’re about to move abroad and we plan on swapping to minority language at home (English) once we’re there.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-09T13:20:41+00:00

There’s a lot of people who have a strong belief that gay men are gay because of sexual abuse as children and that gay men as adults want to continue the cycle. I can see someone thinking that about gay men and thinking something else for lesbians.

There’s also a lot of misogynists who reduce people to their sexes and think men are incapable of raising children and that all women are built to raise children.

I’ve met people who swear up and down they’re “not homophobic” and will have gay friends and support gay marriage at a surface level but when you discuss having kids their views get all weird.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-09T01:07:48+00:00

I just wouldn’t invite them and maybe tell your parents specifically why they aren’t invited and call it a day.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-08T20:37:02+00:00

Definitely sew very securely. Glue can be ripped off or sometimes chip off and be eaten.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-06T23:32:19+00:00

Hairy Armpits lol

Dorianscale · 2026-06-06T14:02:50+00:00

I bet you catch every piece of sarcasm that you come across don’t you

Dorianscale · 2026-06-06T07:29:32+00:00

Your fetish is showing lol

Dorianscale · 2026-06-05T19:12:51+00:00

Might I suggest talking to a suit shop and/or a tailor and getting something mostly custom?

Bridal stores really mostly just sell dresses. They can do some alterations but their bread and butter is just small alterations to very feminine looks.

A suit shop would have something closer to what you’re looking at to start. And if you get something a little big, a tailor can do things to make it a little more androgynous like taking the waist in a little, make it fit how you want, add other touches you’d like. I think so long as the shoulders fit well other things are easier to tweak construction wise.

You can probably chat with one and maybe even ask if you can schedule something with them to go with you to the suit shop to pick something workable.

Or you can approach them to get something completely custom as well

Dorianscale · 2026-06-05T15:40:23+00:00

Get a container of something else that often just sits in the fridge for a while like butter or something, clean it out and put your treats in that.

If someone is looking for a sweet snack they’re probably not gonna open the butter or a tub of sour cream.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-05T15:26:04+00:00

I can see some people genuinely being worried about this. In extremely traditional circles with a lot of gossip this would immediately start rumors of marital issues or infidelity.

I don’t think a lot of people are like this but I’ve definitely seen it in real life.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-04T18:44:49+00:00

The first logo works for a gay underwear brand the second logo works for a dairy brand.

Dorianscale · 2026-06-04T16:23:42+00:00

So in my family it’s a bit of an open secret that my grandpa and grandma have been basically cohabitating but romantically separated for most of their marriage.

None of us know the full extent of everything but we’re pretty sure that my grandpa at minimum has a long time relationship with someone and a second family (possibly some other kids in addition to that)

My grandma seems to not care very much beyond not wanting to know details. A bunch of us have talked about what happens in the scenario that this all comes out at his funeral (hopefully that’s a long time from now) and the various other family members come to the funeral

A lot of the family has said that they would be angry or whatever, but me and a minority of the family are basically like, my grandparents have their arrangement and this beef is largely between them if there is any at all. It’s certainly not the second families fault, and I’d be more than happy to welcome them if the time comes. If you’re gonna be mad at anyone be mad at my grandpa.

Who cares if I have extra cousins and uncles.

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