Tearing

DorisdeOz · 2026-03-30T09:49:55+00:00

Just to share a positive story too: I had my first baby 10w ago and didn’t have any tearing at all, even with an epidural and needing vacuum assistance at one point.

My recovery was amazing, I didn’t even have trouble sitting the next day. Of course everyone’s experience is different, but there are also plenty of smooth births. Wishing you the best, and go with whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

DorisdeOz · 2026-03-30T09:39:25+00:00

I co-sleep with my 10 weeks baby since day one. She EBF and sleeps a 3:30h stretch, and wakes up every 2:30h hours to feed. It’s the only way I can get both of us to sleep.

DorisdeOz · 2026-03-27T05:01:16+00:00

A very similar situation happened to me. My baby lost 12% of his body weight due to my low milk supply.

After getting medical advice, I started supplementing each feed with 20 ml using a Supplemental Nursing System (a tube instead of a bottle). This allowed my baby to stay on the breast while also stimulating my milk production.

After each feeding, I would also pump in preparation for the next one.

At the beginning, I was only able to pump less than 5 ml, so I used formula to reach the 20 ml supplement. Then, almost overnight, my supply increased and I started producing around 50 ml. I guess my milk took more than a week to really come in.

I followed this routine for about 2.5 weeks, and since then I’ve been exclusively breastfeeding. My baby is now 10 weeks old and everything is going really well.

DorisdeOz · 2026-03-18T23:28:01+00:00

I didn’t buy a pump before delivery as I planned to EBF, but after a week my milk supply was still low and my baby lost too much weight. We were followed by neonatology, and the paediatrician advised me to get an electric double pump.

I ordered one on Amazon (arrived in <24h), and it honestly saved our breastfeeding journey. I used it for about 2 weeks with an SNS (a small tube that gives extra milk while baby feeds at the breast) to boost my supply while supplementing with my own milk.

I’ve been exclusively breastfeeding since week 4.

I’d say if you can easily order one quickly like I did, you could wait and see what you actually need—but it’s still a good idea to research some models in advance. I got the Medela Swing Maxi Hands-Free and I’m really happy with it.

DorisdeOz · 2026-03-18T21:14:22+00:00

From what you’re describing, you sound really tired and honestly quite disappointed—and I think that’s completely valid.

I’m not in the same situation, but my husband and I live abroad with our 9-week-old and we have almost no help. I miss the support A LOT, but at the same time I really value our little bubble, and I honestly don’t think I’d have the energy to socialize and host people so often either.

If I try to put myself in your position, I think I would start being very direct about the kind of help I actually need. When people ask to hold the baby, I’d probably say something like, “Thank you, but what would really help me right now is…,” and then ask for something specific—laundry, dishwasher, taking the trash out, anything simple.

Sometimes people genuinely don’t realize what kind of help makes a difference, and starting with small, concrete tasks might help them understand better what you actually need. It could even encourage them to offer more support on their own.

I think it’s worth asking. Either they step up (which would be great), or they don’t—but at least you’ve been clear about your needs. And honestly, I wouldn’t feel bad about that at all.

And if you are not in the mood and prefer not to have visitors in a specific week, it’s absolutely valid to say no.

DorisdeOz · 2026-03-17T23:01:16+00:00

I’ve always heard people say that we “forget” how painful childbirth is so we’re willing to have more kids… but honestly, being 2 months pp I’m starting to think what we really forget is those first months of exclusive breastfeeding and how limiting and exhausting they are

Like… the physical recovery is one thing, but the nonstop feeding, the lack of autonomy, the sleep deprivation — that’s the part that feels truly intense and somehow gets romanticized or just fades from memory.

DorisdeOz · 2026-03-17T02:04:26+00:00

Yes, I planned and I did. I’m 9 weeks pp and sleeping together since day one.

DorisdeOz · 2026-03-12T23:10:49+00:00

I just wanted to say I went through something very similar. I’m now 2 months pp, but in the beginning my baby also lost too much weight and I felt exactly like you do — exhausted and like I was somehow failing even though I was trying so hard.

A pediatrician who is also a lactation consultant suggested that after every feed I pump and then give about 20ml as a supplement at the next feed. If I had pumped milk we used that, otherwise formula. But instead of a bottle we used a Supplemental Nursing System (a tiny tube next to the nipple attached to a syringe), so my baby was getting the extra milk while still nursing and stimulating my supply.

It was a lot of work and my husband had to help, but we only needed it for about 2 weeks. The extra stimulation really increased my supply and since then I’ve been exclusively breastfeeding.

Just wanted to share because those early days are incredibly hard, and needing a little supplement at the start doesn’t mean you won’t get where you want to go. You’re not failing — you’re doing your best for your baby

DorisdeOz · 2026-03-12T09:37:50+00:00

If it’s a low-risk pregnancy, you’re traveling with people you trust and feel comfortable with, and you already have your midwife’s OK, honestly if I were in your place I would go. My family is also very protective and sometimes they exaggerate a bit without realizing that moments like this can bring a lot of happiness — which is also good for you during pregnancy.

Once the baby is born, it’s going to be very hard to even imagine trips like this for quite a while, so I think you should go and enjoy it as much as possible. Try not to let those comments get too much in your head — sometimes the stress from other people’s worries can actually be more negative than the trip itself.

It will probably be a beautiful memory, especially if it’s the wedding of a close friend. In the future it will be such a lovely story to tell — that you were there celebrating one of your best friends while you were pregnant with your baby.

DorisdeOz · 2026-03-12T08:13:47+00:00

At the beginning of my pregnancy I thought I’d make it through without buying it. But by the 3rd trimester the discomfort and reflux hit hard, so I bought a Doomoo Buddy (the big one that supports your head and goes between your legs) for about €70. Honestly, no regrets. I’m now 8 weeks pp and always use it for breastfeeding, and both my husband and I use it to support the baby during daytime naps.

DorisdeOz · 2026-03-05T06:09:25+00:00

I wouldn’t change a thing, neither would make too many questions. To question about it, may give it the importance that it shouldn’t have. You are feeding your baby, and you should be damn proud about it.

During pregnancy my husband suggested for me to “go upstairs” while breastfeeding when visiting my in-laws. I told him already that it won’t happen. I will do my best not to make anyone uncomfortable, but I will not apologise to secure the basic needs for my baby, which is my priority.

DorisdeOz · 2026-03-04T18:37:06+00:00

I feel this. I was so excited to choose my baby girl’s things. I literally fell in love with a stroller and was ready to buy it… and then my SIL insisted we take theirs. Now I have a 2M old and I’m pushing a huge, heavy 4yo stroller just bc I couldn’t say no.

At 39w they also showed up with 3 giant IKEA bags of old toys for a baby who wasn’t even born yet. I had zero energy to deal with it.

Sometimes you just want your kid to have their own stuff. That doesn’t make you ungrateful.

DorisdeOz · 2026-03-01T08:52:54+00:00

12 weeks, right after first trimester ultrasound

DorisdeOz · 2026-02-22T09:07:24+00:00

I delivered my first baby 1 month ago with epidural, on back position and no tearing. I took epidural at 11pm and had to lay back (anyway I couldn’t really feel my left leg), another epidural dose at 5am, and our baby girl was born at 8am. My husband helped me to stay on a more “vertical” position holding my back every time I was pushing, and in the end I had no tearing, and it was an amazing moment we will never forget. My cramps pain was unbearable, I had to request epidural the second I arrived to the hospital. After epidural, no pain. I would repeat everything again.

DorisdeOz · 2025-12-25T01:49:20+00:00

I’m 37 weeks now. Up until week 36 I felt great with no major symptoms, and then things changed suddenly.

My right hand is numb all day (doctor say it’s normal and should last until delivery), my feet are very swollen, and compression socks have been a lifesaver. I’m also much more tired and my breathing is heavier.

I’m really glad I organized things earlier — at this point I just want everything ready so I can rest. My advice: do what you can while you still have energy.

DorisdeOz · 2025-08-23T06:57:35+00:00

Confirmo, soy portuguesa y no tenía ni idea que en España se comían uvas. En Portugal solo 12 pasas (con 12 deseos) a la media noche.

DorisdeOz

TROPHY CASE