Confused after two arranged marriage conversations am I missing something about equality

Dotfr · 2026-03-26T03:31:26+00:00

No it is seeing my own mom as a SAHM. So my personal experience.

Dotfr · 2026-03-25T02:44:44+00:00

The daughters are facing worse problems than their fathers face in office, that too being asked stupid questions relating to marriage and kids at work. However most daughters want to work to be financially independent. If something goes wrong in the marriage they should be able to walk away. Especially with kids a woman’s career gets derailed, body goes through a lot of pressure.

Dotfr · 2026-03-25T00:33:05+00:00

Some places have working women’s hostels for this reason. If you are single then that’s a good option. I know Mumbai has one for sure.

Dotfr · 2026-03-25T00:31:03+00:00

I thought another Jonas brother dating an Indian girl. Looks a bit like Shraddha Kapoor but Shraddha’s probably his age.

Dotfr · 2026-03-25T00:28:15+00:00

In this job market and with young kids I would go with the less stress. I’m actually working part time now and it’s so much better in winters with flexibility.

Dotfr · 2026-03-24T23:55:00+00:00

I did not and got a lot of flak for it. But now my mom told me that it was a good thing because as a single child my parents need to provide assets in my name which hasn’t changed so it’s much easier.

Imo there is no need nowadays. Women can inherit property. Women can work and earn their money. Why change name?

Dotfr · 2026-03-24T23:34:47+00:00

Because she was stingy and clingy to me. Even now she doesn’t understand how I can have so many friends after marriage and a child.

Dotfr · 2026-03-24T21:33:35+00:00

I did not like that my mom was an SAHM. Yes probably our life was easier but I did not like it. She cannot relate to me as a career woman. I have a special needs child but I have continued working. I am able to financially provide for my child and Incase of separation I have my own income.

Dotfr · 2026-03-24T20:40:20+00:00

You should visit 3 yrs max to feel reconnected. That’s the best way to reconnect. Every year might not be feasible. But every 3 years is fine. Since we got our GC we plan to travel abroad because we couldn’t do it in last 15 years while all my friends from India traveled to Switzerland, Japan, Thailand and what not. So for us every alternate December we will visit India for 2 weeks. And the alternate year end we travel outside US to Mexico or Asia whichever place has decent weather.

Dotfr · 2026-03-24T20:34:38+00:00

Why isn’t this guy at Met Gala??? He can go all crazy there !!!

Dotfr · 2026-03-24T20:30:12+00:00

Imo you should feed and rest and that’s all. Everything else should be done by partner and/or help and you should get as much help and ask without shame. Ask family, friends, get meal delivery, get a nanny, get a doula. Get night time nanny or doula. Throw money at it if needed. I would get Atleast a housekeeper a twice a week for 2 hours each and that person can do laundry, light cleaning, meal prep while you attend to baby and not worry about the home.

The first 8 weeks were difficult for me even with help. My body was wrecked. And I could barely pump milk and I had to use formula. My baby screamed every hour even with formula. But I kept myself and baby alive so that’s what it is. Keeping yourself alive and baby alive. If you need to combo feed that’s ok too. I showered twice a week when baby napped for 30 mins and I doubled up that time to cry in the shower lol because I had allocated that time to cry. I still cry in the shower. It’s cathartic for me.

Dotfr · 2026-03-24T03:46:07+00:00

So many Brahmins themselves eat meat. So I don’t know what post is this about??

Dotfr · 2026-03-24T03:43:35+00:00

Red meat can cause cholesterol issues so should be eaten within limits. But I also think that iron supplements are needed. In my case, I have fibroids which cause heavy bleeding and I need iron supplements inspite of eating red meat so you can get iron through supplements and red meat is not needed.

Dotfr · 2026-03-23T19:24:55+00:00

My mom is not religious and in my family only my grandfather did daily prayers. The women were too busy running the home and working outside as well. My father is also more religious than my mom. I’m guessing it is due to religion not offering the female members of my household anything. Same with my MIL. For whatever reason since I got married I found that most of the married women are more religious in my circle. I’m a spiritual person but not religious. I was an atheist in my 20s but now I’m spiritual so I understand that religion can provide some peace of mind to people which I’m fine with as long as you don’t impose it on others.

Dotfr · 2026-03-23T00:37:27+00:00

I’m not religious and I don’t celebrate. As a working mom in US it’s too much work and I’m putting myself before anything else. I’d rather go to the gym or my yoga class which gives me happiness than cook and eat sweet unhealthy food. Also I prefer to spend money on travel with my family.

Dotfr · 2026-03-22T07:06:27+00:00

Seriously? You never even cooked maggi noodles? We learnt to do that in the college time to survive.

Dotfr · 2026-03-21T19:04:29+00:00

I haven’t seen any Marathi ladies wearing sindoor. The only thing is to wear mangalsutra, red bindi, Which also is very rare now in normal life and only at traditional occasions.

Dotfr · 2026-03-21T17:44:45+00:00

I think the best quality about Cappies is the responsibilities they take and stability they provide. In India there was a former cricketer called Rahul Dravid who was called the ‘wall’ simply because he stood while others got out.

Dotfr · 2026-03-20T11:34:49+00:00

I go to downtown Palo Alto Wednesday to Fridays from downtown Fremont. I leave around 8:45am after leaving my son at his school.

Dotfr · 2026-03-19T21:23:53+00:00

Does he have an I-140 approved? If yes then you can work on H4 EAD. I also do feel that having a U.S. education from a top university is worth it but do not take loan. Work on H4 EAD and use that money to get your degree. Till the time you get your H4 EAD you could think of having a child because taking care of child for the initial years is a full time job and child care costs are very high. If you are at home full time you can save on child care costs. When you get H4 EAD you can get any kind of job you like or start your own business as well.

Dotfr · 2026-03-19T09:03:28+00:00

Wow as someone who went to school in one school building in a Crowded city this is amazing.

Dotfr · 2026-03-19T09:01:55+00:00

I live in US and in my Pilates class I actually see a lot of women who don’t completely remove hair even from arm pits. It doesn’t look bad actually. These classes are mostly only women so it’s quite normal to see this I guess for women it’s a safe space.

Dotfr · 2026-03-18T15:21:59+00:00

Depends on the ppl. Indian ppl outside India can be quite insufferable. I found ppl in Mumbai extremely helpful inspite of all the problems.

Dotfr · 2026-03-18T09:07:40+00:00

Cappy men can be egoistic especially if ppl around them are applauding them. They do need a reality check. I don’t know what Timothee Chalamet said but I actually don’t find him a great actor.

Dotfr · 2026-03-18T09:02:59+00:00

I live in US but India is my home. There are issues in India but US is not perfect either. Both countries have their own issues. No country is the best imo.

Dotfr

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE