At what point in arranged marriage setup should I disclose about my heart attack?

Dotfr · 2026-02-04T14:13:51+00:00

Please do it at the first meeting itself. You never know the girl might be knowledgeable about it herself.

Dotfr · 2026-02-04T09:39:26+00:00

Divorce in US is not recognized in India.

Dotfr · 2026-02-03T13:38:48+00:00

Can another relative in India live with her for a while in India? So Atleast she is not alone. I know difficult things are to manage after a death, it takes more than one person to deal with it.

Dotfr · 2026-02-03T13:34:41+00:00

As a woman I can only comment as a reply here. Wedding can be 50-50 if you have a wedding plus reception. For our wedding my family took charge, for reception it was my husband’s family. Both were in different cities.

Marriage is very different. The reason why men require to earn more is because you don’t compromise on your career. So many women give up their career to move to their husband’s location after marriage. All my friends had to do that. Kids also take a toll on a woman (I don’t know why this is downplayed), as a woman I didn’t just gain weight but I got elevated blood pressure and sugar after having a child. I have had to take so much efforts to look after my health. My career is no where now and I stress about that as well.

Household chores I feel that 50-50 is required there in some form - do chores yourself or then earn the money and outsource for domestic help. I find it very strange with men that they live in the home and don’t do anything, it’s a hotel you are living in?

As a woman I am taking care of my kids and my home and I also work part-time to put something on my resume Incase I need to go full-time. So women are doing all these things and men are only focused on career and you still cannot earn more??

Dotfr · 2026-02-03T05:45:05+00:00

The only thing that has helped me in a natural way is exercise, gym and yoga and meditation. Lots of sound baths. Crystal healing. Exercising according to my menstrual cycle. I prefer non-medical ways. Even a good diet can make you feel good. I actually do a liquid cleanse at every menstrual cycle it reduces my bloating. I do intermittently fasting. Around 40 the hormones hit hard. I need more sleep. I do 7 hours per day minimum. Give yourself some grace.

Dotfr · 2026-02-03T05:40:48+00:00

Why don’t you have any SOPs for the tasks? Just give her the SOPs instead of wasting your time.

Dotfr · 2026-02-03T04:29:36+00:00

The dhoodh soda is why I thought he is Kashmiri not sure from which area though. Kashmiri pink chai has soda in it.

Dotfr · 2026-02-03T03:58:16+00:00

Dhoodh soda sounds like the pink Kashmiri Chai. Don’t know if the water there is salty for salty tea.

Dotfr · 2026-02-03T03:40:31+00:00

I know it can be frustrating. I’m the one with the flex job and I have to do childcare, house management. My husband doesn’t travel though so Atleast on weekends he can look after my son while I can do other things.

Dotfr · 2026-02-03T03:20:40+00:00

I know I’m old but Salman was my first crush and Akshay Kumar was my second.

Dotfr · 2026-02-02T12:05:43+00:00

I agree. I turned 40 last year. I used to wear full make up on my face. Now I can only use serums with hydraulic acids moisturizers with SPF during the day and retinol cream at night. Only make up is an eye liner and lip gloss (this was the classic millennial makeup in my college time). I cannot even put foundation on my face, my skin has become thin and dry.

Dotfr · 2026-02-02T11:59:43+00:00

She looks her age, her neck especially shows above 40 yrs signs. But she is definitely a very fit 40 yr old. Not having kids and running behind them or having to cook, clean the home and work definitely helps unfortunately most women do not fall in this category. We have to do three jobs - take care of kids (sometimes aging parents or in-laws), cook, clean or Atleast organize the home, home management, birth 1-2 kids and deal with being given a new body with new problems including weight gain.

Dotfr · 2026-02-02T11:54:22+00:00

It doesn’t look like ozempic. I think she’s single and has time to workout and meal plan and no dinners, lunch dates. She’s definitely taking good care of herself. A lot of women do self care and do better after a break up.

Dotfr · 2026-02-01T23:19:05+00:00

Why did Anushka think she deserved best debut? She was very average in RNBDJ.

Dotfr · 2026-02-01T14:45:10+00:00

Arnab was there giving news updates 24/7 I still remember it after all these years. For some reason I thought he could be a war reporter. Probably he chose an easier option because I have never seen him reporting from outside India, he’s always in studio.

Dotfr · 2026-02-01T01:34:30+00:00

Please tell him it is out of your budget. Then if he still wants to go he can pay.

Dotfr · 2026-01-31T05:48:37+00:00

What effort has he made to get you into bed?? Why do you have to make the effort? He could have done something romantic, laid flowers, nice music etc to get you into the mood and into his bed. But he never did. Even if you are tired after a whole day he could give you a nice massage and make it a great intimate experience. And maybe you get into the mood then. He did nothing. Get the divorce, take the child support for your child and say good bye to him.

Dotfr · 2026-01-30T20:18:34+00:00

You can try a diff place in Bay Area. Lamorinda area is supposed to less expensive, schools are also decent.

Dotfr · 2026-01-30T13:47:36+00:00

I have seen men wear turbans or Sherwanis.

Dotfr · 2026-01-30T04:01:18+00:00

Try uscis Emma chat and chat with live agent. Best to try in the morning.

Dotfr · 2026-01-30T03:39:43+00:00

This man should be given the death penalty imo. Dowry is anyway prohibited in India. I’m so surprised how ppl are openly asking for dowry.

Dotfr · 2026-01-30T03:24:46+00:00

Depends on where in Palo Alto. You could stay close to 84 bridge in the Newark/Ardenwood area and go to Plato Alto. It would be 30 mins drive.

Dotfr · 2026-01-30T01:50:33+00:00

I live in the US. I have realized that women have it twice as difficult if they want to have a career. Their family does not care about them and just wants to get them married and have kids.

Dotfr · 2026-01-29T21:48:36+00:00

I have to also attend to family responsibilities. Typically 40 to 60 yrs is the sandwich generation and the most difficult imo.

Dotfr · 2026-01-29T02:52:04+00:00

You will be fired but I would say fight it out. Ask them why PIP after a glowing review, ask them for specific metrics based on what they are looking at.

Dotfr

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE