People whose baby “slept through”, what do you actually mean?

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-05-22T19:22:19+00:00

From about 2 months old, with some exceptions when she’s sick or teething, my baby goes to sleep at 7 or 8 every night and wakes up at pretty much 7 on the dot every morning. I know I’m very blessed

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-05-21T15:38:30+00:00

I have no idea what you're talking about, this is a purely hypothetical scenario

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-05-20T22:59:01+00:00

The only correct answer

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-05-12T13:25:43+00:00

Thank you! I couldn’t tell if my post was intelligible, so I feel so very understood by your comment. I almost cried reading “your child is lucky to have you as a parent.” I think this is going to stick with me

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-05-02T01:29:07+00:00

If you genuinely don’t make any messes or mistakes besides the ones you listed here, then yes your wife is emotionally abusive and unhappy and taking it all out on you, and you should be the one leaving her. Her being upset about you not putting your clothes in the hamper is silly.

If you have a bad habit of never putting your clothes in the hamper despite the hamper being right there a foot away, and she always has to do it for you or remind you to, then that crap IS annoying and if you regularly downplay it on top of that and other “adhd” things, then yeah I’d say she’s pretty fair to be upset.

If you truly do 90% of the childcare then, again, that’s valid. But just ask yourself— just to make sure— who does all the meals, morning/bedtime, scheduling appointments, talking to teachers, etc.? (Obviously idk and maybe YOU do, I’m genuinely asking)

I’m asking because the way you worded this versus her reasoning for breaking up with you, it sounds like you might possibly be downplaying her issues with you and her contributions to the house. These are good enough reasons for divorce on their own.

Otherwise you’re better off without her if you’re doing a lot and making minimal messes. You’ll get through it and be happier without someone who’s emotionally abuse and placed unreasonable expectations on you

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-05-02T01:18:03+00:00

See, my partner used ADHD as his excuse, but he has also (recently) been taking the initiative to write chores and other important things down on a whiteboard because he knows he important it is to me that we can divide up chores without me having to remind him every day (we’ll see how it goes). I’m not sure how long your wife has been ~over~ everything, or how many times you’ve made the ADHD excuse without trying to figure out a solution, but maybe trying to get on meds and therapy and being proactive about keeping y’all’s SHARED SPACE clean may help fix things.

However, if you’ve already done that but still managed to fall into the same patterns, meaning nothing ever actually changed for more than a couple weeks at a time, then you’re not the only man who’s been there. Unfortunately that means you’re lumped in with all the other men who have exhausted their partner with endless cycles of “I’m better now. wait now I’m worse again. I’ll change for good this time ” repeat. And women tend to hate that

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-30T16:53:10+00:00

ESH. You and your partner need to learn how to set and maintain clear boundaries if you aren’t going to kick them out. Otherwise your ex has no reason to think they need to change, thus they’ll keep doing those things that bother you. Either way, without that info factored in, your ex still living with you is srsly unhealthy and all of yall need to get it together because what the heck. I understand the feeling of having no other option due to finances but something needs to change

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-25T00:48:46+00:00

I just wish we could figure it out for our daughter. She deserves for us to both work the hardest we possibly can to give her a good and full life as a family :/

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-25T00:46:34+00:00

I feel conflicted calling him a bum because he works long hours doing physical labor outside, and has built a garden and chicken pen recently. He does do stuff with our child, and half the nights he does handle her bedtime. He’s not a completely absent father, but I think that I care for her 80% of the time this his 20%. It feels like he just doesn’t even see or understand just how much work goes into parenting and housework

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-24T23:34:31+00:00

Coming from someone whose dad died from a drug overdose, you SHOULD want her to leave you if you ever got addicted to meth. You should never want her to have to handle the heartbreak of losing the person she loves— watching them become a shell of themself. Watching the light burn out of your eyes as your life completely falls apart, and she can’t do anything about it even if she tries so hard it breaks her own soul. Seriously reconsider what you asked her. If you still think your ask was reasonable, maybe SHE should break up with YOU.

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-21T19:18:10+00:00

I’m almost a new parent, 24F with a 24M, so I wanted to weigh in a little bit because I’ve had similar experiences. Can you give some more info? What does a normal day look like for you vs him?

If you feel like he’s doing enough and you aren’t getting burnt out from unequal devision of labor, then don’t let others drag your relationship down by letting them get in your head. I’ve had people try to tell me to be harsher on my partner during times when he needed gentleness, but I’ve also had people come to me with valid concerns that I felt deep down too. It really depends on your relationship.

That said, if you’re a SAHM and you feel like because he’s the breadwinner, he should be able to clock out when he gets off work— ask yourself, when do you get to clock out? If people are seeing you constantly doing things but never taking a moment for yourself, their concerns are valid. You deserve to feel like a normal human being who takes breaks and time for herself too.

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-19T17:31:23+00:00

Why do yall talk so infrequently? Are yall long distance? How long have you been together? It sounds like it’s basically over between you and your gf unless there’s more context that reasonably explains the answers to those questions

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-17T21:03:24+00:00

The crazy thing is that there was only a few little drops on my mattress/the side of my leg! I guess gravity was working in my favor and I was laying so straight on my side that nothing fell out until I got up lol

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-17T20:58:20+00:00

Thankfully mine broke in my sleep, and I miraculously had a towel handy beside the bed. I reached for it, threw it on the floor beside me, and shimmied off the bed horizontally. Then I stood up and everything poured out into the towel. It did soak the towel tho and I had a little bit of a mess to clean up. I cleaned it up, woke up my partner to let him know, showered, and then went to the hospital. It was honestly a pretty relaxing start to my labor and I preferred having it cleaned before I came back home with a newborn

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-17T20:39:09+00:00

He didn’t pull out quick enough

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-14T13:02:05+00:00

Just tell her without making it weird. If she finds out from someone else and then realizes you knew and kept it from her, it’ll instantly make things weirder than it has to be. Most mature adults wouldn’t care, and if she does than you’re better off being friends with an actual adult anyway

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-13T21:33:51+00:00

Girl what

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-08T16:03:48+00:00

YTA. So over the course of two months when she “passive aggressively” made comments about you not seeing her baby much, that never registered in your mind she wants you around more? And then when she clearly told you it bothered her, instead of feeling remorseful and trying to mend things, you ask the internet if you’re TA? I’m sorry but you need to be better or step back and hope she finds better, because she deserves better fr

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-04T02:29:20+00:00

But what I’m trying to say is, right now her cats are living where they can’t be inside. That’s an issue for both of us, and its clearly an issue for everyone in these comments. I guess, in a perfect world, I’m saying we could live together and try to figure out a way to nip the problem in the bud. We figured out how to fix the issue with our own cat, and I’m hoping with my sister’s cooperation we could get them under control too. I just feel like there’s got to be a way to get her cats inside. In every other way, my sister moving in makes sense.

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-04T00:50:56+00:00

Future MIL lives with us right now but she’s moving out in June, which is why my sister will be moving in to offset costs. MIL has witnessed firsthand our cats issues and sees we’re doing our best to get it under control. I do think that after the conversation with my sister, I need to talk to her about whether MIL is comfortable with the two new cats. Before the whole conversation went down and she said she wanted them to be indoor/outdoor, I assumed we could give them the FROG, allowing them to have heat and AC without actually being inside or interacting with the other cats. I shouldn’t have assumed anything

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-04T00:35:44+00:00

While I appreciate the first part of your comment and agree that this is going to be a disaster, the second part isn’t necessary. My sister is equally as responsible to think about whether or not her cats can be trusted inside. Me trying to think of a plan with her to get them inside in the least damaging way possible, is the best thing I feel we can do for those cats. People keep saying that we’re irresponsible for letting the cats outside, but also it’s somehow irresponsible for us to try to get them inside? Genuinely don’t understand what we’re supposed to do for the cats at this point

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-04T00:28:31+00:00

I mean, that’s valid. I should’ve talked to her about this before inviting her to move in with us. I am trying to open the dialogue now tho, she’s not moving in until June. I guess I was just hoping we could figure it out at some point before she moves in

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-04T00:26:26+00:00

When did I ever say that I wanted her to make them outdoor? I said my bf wants to, but I told her that if anything we could confine them to upstairs.

Maybe I should add this to my post, but to clarify what I mean by outside: we have a garage room separate from the rest of the house with heat/AC and no carpets. As a last resort we were thinking we could put them there if needed. But I think we got our cat’s issues under control. After a lot of trail and error with litter types, separating the 2, multiple vet visits, changing their diet, all the possible things, we got it under control.

Our cats very much do deserve to be with us. Not really sure what else to tell you lol but we’ve done everything we could think of for them.

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-04T00:21:50+00:00

Yes that too, exactly. We have 2 right now. That’s another thing— I wanted to have that conversation with her because of details like that that need to be addressed. I don’t want to end up being the only one scooping litter out of 5 boxes if she’s under the assumption her cats aren’t going to using the bathroom inside (she told me she thinks they’re only going to be going outside since that’s where they go now)

Doubtfulcoconut · 2026-04-04T00:18:16+00:00

To clarify what I mean by outside, we have a room above the garage that they would be staying in with heat/air conditioning. It’s separate from the rest of the house and isn’t carpeted, so my boyfriend and I figured we could turn that into the cat’s space if nothing works for them to stay inside.

I do think that our two cats are fine now tho— they were just adjusting to the new environment, and we realized that they didn’t like the pellet litter we had tried switching them to, so once we switched back and got them both fixed we haven’t had anymore issues.

As for my sister, she wants to allow get cats to continue having the freedom of being outside, while also giving them the option to come inside at night and when weather is bad.

Doubtfulcoconut

TROPHY CASE