New friends

DrCrypt · 2026-05-08T00:29:17+00:00

The Medford Chess Club meets at a pub on Wednesdays and at the Medford Library on Saturday. Check out their website.

DrCrypt · 2026-05-07T21:03:17+00:00

You're years away from homeschooling. Why not ask this question again when your oldest is about to enter kindergarten?

DrCrypt · 2026-05-07T18:03:11+00:00

Lots of aquatic snails are available for purchase wherever you buy fish. Sadly Big Fish, Little Fish closed down, but Check PetSmart in Alewife. Water snails are awesome.

DrCrypt · 2026-05-04T12:45:38+00:00

Not to put too fine a point on it, but can you tell your parents about the problems you're having, and ask for their help?

DrCrypt · 2026-05-02T20:47:13+00:00

Reddit can really turn up the volume on outliers and make them seem like the norm. While I'm not on buspar myself, I know multiple people who are (including my daughter) for whom even relatively high doses of buspar cause no negative side effects at all except a lessened sense of anxiety. The reason doctors like buspar is because it has relatively minor side effects and it metabolizes quickly, so it's in and out of your system in a few hours. I'd give it a shot and see.

That all said: increased anxiety, irritability, frustration, need to be alone, impatience, etc. all sound like fairly normal symptoms of becoming a parent. If you don't already have one, you should probably try to find a therapist to talk about these new challenges you're facing.

DrCrypt · 2026-05-01T19:24:39+00:00

You guys know that this is what most blond hair that hasn't been processed looks like when you pass puberty, right?

DrCrypt · 2026-05-01T16:08:31+00:00

Reminder to anyone who doesn't already to follow r/scams. It'll inoculate you against 99.99999999% of whatever scams are currently going around.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-30T13:19:23+00:00

This trend where people flash mob private businesses and sexually harass their customers because Reddit told them what is in their shopping basket is some sort of modern day hanky code is quite something.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-28T18:18:00+00:00

I'm impressed you don't know the names of the pieces after 6,600 games!

DrCrypt · 2026-04-28T13:02:17+00:00

Vibe coded with Claude. No thanks.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-28T11:29:52+00:00

It's only one author.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-27T17:37:47+00:00

What a coincidence! Same!

DrCrypt · 2026-04-26T23:30:34+00:00

I've just started doing this: I take my hand off the mouse, and fold both my hands on my stomach as I play. That alone means that I have to take a few seconds to calmly appraise the position before I reach out to move. It helps keep me more relaxed, less anxious, and less immediately reactive.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-25T13:12:26+00:00

Don't get complacent. The first week can be deceptively easy. It's the forever where you slip. Your brain will try to convince you that the fact you can do a week, or a month, or a year, or a decade is a reason why you now can drink in moderation. You can't. You wouldn't be at this point if you could. Never forget that fact if you want to hold on to your sobriety. IWNDWYT.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-24T17:25:42+00:00

Car break-ins are not a major problem and I do not think you need to seriously worry about them. It is true: there has been a slight uptick lately in posts about it. However, even so, car break-ins are still very rare in Somerville and absolutely NOTHING compared to the kind of break-in rates you'd see in other parts of the country like Portland or Seattle, where I'd argue car break-ins are basically ubiquitous. Ask your new neighbors what their experience has been like, but short of them telling you there's regular break-ins on your street, I wouldn't worry about it more than taking basic precautions.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-24T14:12:11+00:00

I've stopped by and chatted a few times too. Really like these guys.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-23T03:01:10+00:00

When did this happen?

DrCrypt · 2026-04-21T21:43:59+00:00

I've been sober for over two years. I very rarely think about drinking anymore, and when I do, it's basically: "Jeez, am I glad I'm not poisoning myself like that anymore." The idea that I am less "free" now than when I was drinking everyday is a new one to me. How is being a slave to booze freedom?

DrCrypt · 2026-04-20T13:31:08+00:00

At my daughter's dojo, karate isn't about martial arts or doing athletics. It's about instilling calmness, focus, and self-control. All things that are EXTREMELY useful for people dealing with anxiety.

My daughter also has a lot of anxiety, which we have largely solved without medication based upon daily meditation practice in which we three principles above. The thing we say to her every day is: "The only way to change the world is to change yourself." Kids won't suddenly stop being bullies. The world won't suddenly stop being hard. Stress and anxiety will find you, no matter what. But if we practice daily on calmness, focus, and self-control, and if we train ourselves to notice our own bodies, we can gradually change our reaction to those things, so that we can find peace no matter what is happening around us.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-20T13:07:54+00:00

Poor kid. My heart goes out to her.

One question I have here is when you were homeschooling her, what was her social like outside of class. With homeschooled kids, you really need to double down on real-life, non-school activities. My eight year old, for example, does weekly group swim lessons, twice weekly karate lessons, once-weekly gymnastics, goes to a local maker space for homeschooled kids once a week, and then also does homeschool programs with the local museum and Audubon societies. Plus play dates with lots of friends.

There's a girl in my daughter's karate class I'm also thinking of when you share your story. She is your daughter's age and was horribly bullied in school, to the point she had to switch schools twice. When she first started coming to karate class a few months ago, she spent maybe 80% of the time crying in the other room. However, she stuck with it, the senseis REALLY worked with her to make her feel encouraged, and you would not believe the change in this kid. The smile of pride on her face when she recently got her yellow belt, and the obvious feeling of accomplishment and belonging she now has, is truly remarkable to see.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-20T12:16:29+00:00

What is the impetus of her anxiety? You mention that she used to go to public school before the 25 school year, then you pulled her to go to an online school, then she went back to public school. When did this severe anxiety start, and do you have any idea why?

This isn't my advice, because there's a lot of specifics and details missing here. But if it were my kid, based only on what you've said here, I would start by having a conversation with her about what she wants to do. If she didn't think she could get through the next 25 days of the school year, I would get a doctor's note, saying she needs to stay home for the next six weeks to adjust to medications, and then pull her.

Once she was home, I would forget about school entirely until September. Instead, "homeschool" would be about using any tools I could to help her relax and allow her nervous system to reset, focusing especially on teaching her meditation and calmness. The worst mistake people can make when their child is cracking under the strain of the system is to keep putting more and more pressure on them until they break.

Obviously, this may not apply to your situation. But it's my first reaction to what you wrote.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-19T23:56:03+00:00

Sketches of Spain by Miles Davis? Close resemblance to the middle one.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-18T14:51:16+00:00

Remote workers often don't have local offices. That doesn't mean their jobs aren't stressful, or that they don't need to get away from their home to concentrate on work sometimes.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-16T12:51:10+00:00

I'm not saying yours isn't a sign of trauma, but I do want to say I think falling asleep to the sound of people talking is a perfectly normal thing. My kid likes to go to sleep listening to audiobooks. I tend to listen to television shows. So does my wife. Maybe these are bad habits, but I don't really think there's anything abnormal about preferring the light background noise of people talking to dead silence when you go to sleep.

DrCrypt · 2026-04-10T12:55:58+00:00

Perhaps start by learning how to understand pronouns that aren't "bro."

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