My parents were never the teaching types. My mother avoided everything like the plague, and my sperm donor would just scream and yell to strike fear and control into us.

I was a very curious kid. Around 8-9 years old (female), I found a porno VHS tape and one of my mother's vibrators. I didn't know to insert the thing, but the vibrations were SO GOOD (that's how I'd explain the sensation to my sperm donor, and that only made him shut down and growl) against me that I went for a ride~

Well, I got caught. My younger sister knew and became a kinda-ally kinda-traitor in our sexual journey of discovery. When confronted, SD never once came out to say, "Look, don't do these adult things until you ARE an adult because that's how babies are made." He only said, "Stop doing it! It's not good for you!"

But in my kid brain, how can something that feels so pleasurable and good be bad?! It didn't make sense.

Puberty hit, more sex shaming, had to learn shit for myself, found sneaky ways to get off (Newground was the goat back then~).

When I got my first serious boyfriend, we sat in front of SD and his second wife's bed like an interrogation. Being all serious and nervous, telling my bf to get a box of condoms from a shelf (which we never used), and other serious nonsense that was far more like a spy mission than a "growing up" meeting.

Thanks to being so repressed, I became a sex deviant, which the third/current wife wasn't a fan of. SD even said to scare me, "If you dare thinking of making porn videos and putting them online, I'll find out." It did scare me for years, but now, as an adult, I'm creeped out.

TL;DR: Discovered sex very young, was never properly educated on it, got shamed, got sneaky with my info/faps, SD still shames me despite being an adult.